HEADS AND TALES;

OR,

ANECDOTES AND STORIES OF QUADRUPEDS
AND OTHER BEASTS,

CHIEFLY CONNECTED WITH INCIDENTS IN THE
HISTORIES OF MORE OR LESS DISTINGUISHED MEN.

COMPILED AND SELECTED BY

ADAM WHITE,

LATE ASSISTANT IN THE ZOOLOGICAL DEPARTMENT, BRITISH MUSEUM.

PRINTED BY BALLANTYNE AND COMPANY
EDINBURGH AND LONDON

Second Edition.
LONDON:
JAMES NISBET & CO., 21 BERNERS STREET.
MDCCCLXX.

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PREFACE.

In this work, a part of which is, so far as it extends, a careful compilation from an extensive series of books, the great order mammalia, or, rather, a few of its subjects, is treated anecdotically. The connexion of certain animals with man, and the readiness with which man can subdue even the largest of the mammalia, are very curious subjects of thought. The dog and horse are our special friends and associates; they seem to understand us, and we get very much attached to them. The cat or the cow, again, possess a different degree of attachment, and have "heads and hearts" less susceptible of this education than the first mentioned. The anecdotes in this book will clearly show facts of this nature. In the Letter of the Gorilla, under an appearance of exaggeration, will be found many facts of its history. We have a strong belief that natural history, written as White of Selborne did his Letter of Timothy the Tortoise, would be very enticing and interesting to young people. To make birds and other animals relate their stories has been done sometimes, and generally with success. There are anecdotes hinging, however, on animals which have more to do with man than the other mammals referred to in the little story. These stories we have felt to be very interesting when they occur in biographies of great men. Cowper and his Hares, Huygens and his Sparrow, are tales—at least the former—full of interesting matter on the history of the lower animal, but are of most value as showing the influence on the man who amused himself by taming them. We like to know that the great Duke, after getting down from his horse Copenhagen, which carried him through the whole battle of Waterloo, clapped him on the neck, when the war-charger kicked out, as if untired.

We could have added greatly to this book, especially in the part of jests, puns, or cases of double entendre. The few selected may suffice. The so-called conversations of "the Ettrick Shepherd" are full of matter of this kind, treated by "Christopher North" with a happy combination of rare power of description and apt exaggeration of detail, often highly amusing. One or two instances are given here, such as the Fox-hunt and the Whale. The intention of this book is primarily to be amusing; but it will be strange if it do not instruct as well. There is much in it that is true of the habits of mammalia. These, with birds, are likely to interest young people generally, more than anecdotes of members of orders like fish, insects, or molluscs, lower in the scale, though often possessing marvellous instincts, the accounts of which form intensely interesting reading to those who are fond of seeing or hearing of "the works of the Lord," and who "take pleasure" in them.

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CONTENTS.

href="@public@vhost@g@gutenberg@html@files@25918@[email protected]#Page_29" tag="{http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml}a">29 "We ha'e seen the Enemy!" 29 The French Marquis and his Monkey 30 George IV. and Happy Jerry.—Mr Cross's Rib-nosed Baboon at Exeter Change 31 The Young Lady's pet Monkey and the poor Parrot 33 Monkeys "poor relations" 34 Sydney Smith on Monkeys 34 Mrs Colin Mackenzie on the Apes at Simla 35 The Aye-Aye, or Cheiromys of Madagascar 36 Bats 38 One of Captain Cook's Sailors sees a Fox-Bat, and describes it as a devil 39 Fox Bats (with a Plate) 41 Dr Mayerne and his Balsam of Bats 47 Hedgehog 48 Robert Southey to his Critics 48 Mole 49 Mole, cause of Death of William III. 49 Brown Bear 56 The Austrian General and the Bear—"Back, rascal, I am a general!" 58 Lord Byron's Bear at Cambridge 59 Charles Dickens on Bear's Grease and Bear-keepers 59 A Bearable Pun 60 A Shaved Bear 61 Polar Bear 61 General History and Anecdotes of Polar Bear, as observed on recent Arctic Expeditions (with a Plate) 61 Nelson and the Polar Bear 67 A Clever Polar Bear 67 Captain Ommaney and the Polar Bear 70 Raccoon 71 "A Gone Coon" 71 Badger 71 Hugh Miller sees the "Drawing of the Badger" 72 The Laird of Balnamoon and the Brock 75

class="smcap">Ferret 75 Collins and the Rat-catcher, with the Ferret 76 Pole-Cat 76 Fox and the Poll-Cat 77 Dog 77 Phrases about Dogs 77 Cowper's Dog 79 Cowper and his dog Beau 81 Burns's "Twa Dogs" 81 Dog of Assyrian Monument 86 Bishop Blomfield bitten by a Dog 88 Sydney Smith's Remark on it 88 Bishop of Bristol—"Puppies never see till they are nine days old" 88 Mrs Browning, the Poetess, and her dog Flush 89 Sir Thomas Fowell Buxton, Bart., and his dog Speaker 93 Lord Byron and his dog Boatswain 94 Lady's reason for calling her dog Perchance 96 Collins the Artist and his dog Prinny—the faithful Model 96 Soldier and Dog 97 Bark and Bite!—Curran on Lord Clare and his Dog 98 Mrs Drew and the two Dogs 98 Gainsborough and his Wife and their Dogs 100 Sir William Gell's Dog, which was said to speak 101 The Duke of Gordon's Wolf-hounds 102 Frederick the Great and his Italian Greyhounds 104 The Dog and the French Murderers 104 Hannah More on Garrick's Dog 105 Rev. Robert Hall and the Dog 106 A Queen (Henrietta Maria) and her Lap-Dog 106 The Clever Dog that belonged to the Hunters of Polmood 107 The Irish Clergyman and the Dogs 108 Washington Irving and the Dog 108 Douglas Jerrold and his Dog 109 Sheridan and the Dog

align="right">109 Charles Lamb and his dog "Dash" 110 French Dogs of Louis XII. 110 Martin Luther observes a Dog at Lintz 111 Poor Dog at the Grotta del Cane 111 Dog a Postman and Carrier 113 South and Sherlock—Dog-matic 113 General Moreau and his Greyhound 113 Duke of Norfolk and his Spaniels 114 Lord North and the Dog 115 Perthes derives Hints from his Dog 115 Peter the Great and his dog Lisette 116 The Light Company's Poodle and Sir F. Ponsonby 118 Admiral Rodney and his dog Loup 119 Ruddiman and his dog Rascal 119 Mrs Schimmelpenninck and the Dogs 120 Sir Walter Scott and his Dogs 122 Sheridan on the Dog-Tax 123 Sydney Smith dislikes Dogs.—An ingenious way of getting rid of them 124 Sydney Smith on Dogs 125 Sydney Smith.—"Newfoundland Dog that breakfasted on Parish Boys" 126 Robert Southey on his Dogs 126 A Dog that was a good judge of Elocution.—Mr True and his Pupil 127 Dog that tried to please a Crying Child 128 Horace Walpole's pet dog Rosette 128 Horace Walpole.—Arrival of his dog Tonton 129 Horace Walpole.—Death of his dog Tonton 130 Archbishop Whateley and his Dogs 131 Archbishop Whately on Dogs 132 Sir David Wilkie.—A Dog Rose 133 Ulysses and his Dog 133 Wolf 135 Polson and the Last Wolf in Sutherlandshire 135 "If the tail break, you'll find

that" 137 Fox 138 An Enthusiastic Fox-hunting Surgeon 138 Hogg, the Ettrick Shepherd, on the Pleasures of Fox-hunting, and the gratification of the Fox 139 Arctic Foxes converted into Postmen, with Anecdotes (with a plate) 142 Jackal 148 Burke on the Jackal and Tiger 149 Cat 149 Jeremy Bentham and his pet cat "Sir John Langborn 150 S. Bisset and his Musical Cats 152 Constant, Chateaubriand, and their Cats 153 Liston, the Surgeon, and his Cat 153 The Banker Mitchell's Antipathy to Kittens 154 James Montgomery and his Cats 155 David Ritchie's Cat 157 Sir Walter Scott's Visit to the Black Dwarf 157 Southey, the Poet, and his Cats 158 Archbishop Whateley and the Cat that used to ring the Bell 160 Tiger and Lion 161 Bussapa, the Tiger-slayer, and the Tiger 162 John Hunter and the Dead Tiger 164 Mrs Mackenzie on the Indian's regard and awe for the Tiger 165 Jolly Jack-tar on Lion and Tiger 166 Androcles and the Lion 167 Sir George Davis and the Lion 170 Canova's Lions and the Child 171 Admiral Napier and the Lion in the Tower 173 Old Lady and the Beasts on the Mound 173 Seals 174 Dr Adam Clarke on Shetland Seals 175 Dr Edmonstone and the Shetland Seals 176 The Walrus or Morse (with a Plate) 182 Kangaroo

href="@public@vhost@g@gutenberg@html@files@25918@[email protected]#Page_188" tag="{http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml}a">188 Charles Lamb on its Peculiarities 188 Captain Cooke's Sailor and the first Kangaroo seen 189 Charles Lamb on Kangaroos having Purses in front 189 Kangaroo Cooke 189 Tiger Wolf 190 Squirrel, &c. 194 Jekyll on a Squirrel 195 Pets of some of the Parisian Revolutionary Butchers 195 Sir George Back and the poor Lemming 196 McDougall and Arctic Lemming 197 Rats and Mice 198 Duke of Wellington and Musk-Rat 200 Lady Eglinton and the Rats 200 General Douglas and the Rats 201 Hanover Rats 202 Irishman Shooting Rats 203 James Watt and the Rat's Whiskers 204 Gray the Poet compares Poet-Laureate to Rat-catcher 204 Jeremy Bentham and the Mice 205 Robert Burns and the Field Mouse 206 Fuller on Destructive Field Mice 208 Baron Von Trenck and the Mouse in Prison 209 Alexander Wilson, the American Ornithologist, and the Mouse 211 Hares, Rabbits, Guinea-Pig 212 William Cowper on his Hares 213 Lord Norbury on the Exaggeration of a Hare-Shooter 220 Duke of L. prefers Friends to Hares 221 S. Bisset and his Trained Hare and Turtle 221 Lady Anne Barnard on a Family of Rabbits all blind of one eye 222 Thomas Fuller on Norfolk Rabbits 222 Dr Chalmers and the Guinea-Pig 223 Sloth 224

align="left">Sydney Smith on the Sloth—a Comparison 224 The Great Ant-Eater (with a Plate) 225 Elephant 229 Lord Clive—Elephant or Equivalent? 230 Canning on the Elephant and his Trunk 232 Sir R. Phillips and Jelly made of Ivory Dust 233 J. T. Smith and the Elephant 234 Sydney Smith on the Elephant and Tailor 235 Elephant's Skin—a teacher put down 236 Fossil Pachydermata 236 Cuvier's Enthusiasm over Fossils 236 Sow 238 "There's a hantle o' miscellaneous eatin' aboot a Pig" 238 "Pig-Sticking at Chicago" 238 Monument to a Pig at Luneberg 239 Wild Boar (with a Plate) 239 The River Pig (with a Plate) 245 S. Bisset and his Learned Pig 250 Quixote Bowles fond of Pigs 251 On Jekyll's treading on a small Pig 251 Good enough for a Pig 251 Gainsborough's Pigs 252 Theodore Hook and the Litter of Pigs 253 Lady Hardwicke's Pig—her Bailiff 253 Pigs and Silver Spoon 253 Sydney Smith on Beautiful Pigs 254 Joseph Sturge, when a boy, and the Pigs 255 Rhinoceros 229 The Lord Keeper Guildford and the Rhinoceros in the City of London 230 Horse 256 Horse shot under Albert 256 Bell-Rock Lighthouse Horse 257 Edmund Burke and the Horse

href="@public@vhost@g@gutenberg@html@files@25918@[email protected]#Page_257" tag="{http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml}a">257 David Garrick and his Horse, "A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse!" 258 Bernard Gilpin's Horses stolen and recovered 260 The Herald and George III.'s Horse 261 Rev. Rowland Hill and his Horse 261 Holcroft on the Horse 263 Lord Mansfield, his Joke about a Horse 267 Sir John Moore and his Horse at Corunna 268 Neither Horses nor Children can explain their Complaints 269 Horses with Names 270 Rennie the Engineer and the Horse Old Jack 270 Sydney Smith and his Horses 271 Sydney Smith.—He drugs his Domestic Animals 273 Horseback, an Absent Clergyman 273 Judge Story and the Names he gave his Horses 274 Short-tailed and Long-tailed Horses at Livery, difference of Charge 275 Ass and Zebra 276 Coleridge on the Ass 276 Collins and the old Donkey at Odell 276 Gainsborough kept one to Study from 277 Irishman on the Ramsgate Donkeys 278 Douglas Jerrold and the Ass's Foal 278 The Judge and the Barrister 279 Ass that loved Poetry 279 Warren Hastings and the refractory Donkey 279 Northcote, an Angel at an Ass 281 Sydney Smith's Donkey with Jeffrey on his back 281 Sydney Smith on the Sagacity of the Ass 283 Sydney Smith's Deers, how he introduced them into his Grounds to gratify Visitors 284 Asses' Duty Free 284 Thackeray on Egyptian Donkey 285 Zebra, a Frenchman's double-entendre 287 Camels

tag="{http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml}a">287 Captain William Peel, R.N., on Camel 287 Captain in Royal Navy measures the progress of the Ship of the Desert 289 Lord Metcalfe on a Camel when a Boy 290 Red Deer 291 Earl of Dalhousie and the ferocious Stag 291 The French Count and the Stag 293 Fallow Deer 294 Venison Fat, Reynolds and the Gourmand 294 Goethe on Stag-trench at Frankfort-on-Maine 294 Giraffe 295 "Fancy Two Yards of Sore Throat!" 295 Sheep and Goat 295 How many Legs has a Sheep? 296 Goethe on Roos's Etchings of Sheep 296 Lord Cockburn and the Sheep 298 Erskine's Sheep—an Eye to the Woolsack 298 Sandy Wood and his Pet Sheep and Raven 298 General Carnac and She-goat 299 John Hunter and the Shawl-goat 300 Commodore Keppel beards the Dey of Algiers 303 Ox 304 Irish Bulls 304 A great Calf! "The more he sucked the greater Calf he grew!" 304 Veal ad nauseam! too much of a good thing 304 James Boswell should confine himself to the Cow 305 Rev. Adam Clarke and his Bullock Pat 305 Samuel Foote and the Cows pulling the Bell of Worcester College 306 The General's Cow at Plymouth 308 Gilpin's Love of the Picturesque carried out—a reason for keeping three Cows 308 King James on a Cow getting over the Border 309 Duke of Montague and his Hospital for Old Cows and Horses 309 Philip IV. of Spain in the Bull-ring 310

Sydney Smith and his "Universal Scratcher" 311 Rev. Augustus Toplady on the Future State of Animals—the Rev. William Bull 312 Windham on the Feelings of a Baited Bull 313 Whale 315 A Porpoise not at Home 315 Whalebone 315 "What's to become o' the puir Whales?" 316 Very like a Whale! 316 Christopher North on the Whale 316

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