proposed, just like that. Waldo's intentions were sincere, but his work was lumpy and he went up in his lines a couple of times. He didn't pass it out half as strong as these city chaps do when they don't mean it. I instructed Waldo to can his chatter and forget it. Waldo got real indignant because I wouldn't fly with him and tried to grab me. Now I hadn't been prowling about New York alone without learning how to take care of myself, so I gave him the heel and the way he went to the mat was a caution for further orders. Waldo was a nice boy, but he was rough, so after the jolt he got he had sense enough to beat it.

"Say, I had an awful time for the next two or three days. But never again. I'll never go any further out in the country than Claremont. These rural districts are for those that like them, but if I can have Broadway for a country lane you won't hear a peep out of me. Honest, when I see a car with 'Forty-second street, crosstown,' on it I wanted to gallup up and kiss the motorman.

"Well, I've got to leave you here. Will tell you how I happened to leave Emporia the next time I see you. Take it from me, I had rather be a shine on Broadway than a glare anywhere else. So long."

In which Sabrina chronicles some more of the adventures that happened to her while visiting her parents and details how she stood the town on edge, was ejected therefrom, and the remarks she made on the subject.

CHAPTER SIX

"They say a rolling stone gathers no moss, but it's a cinch that this pebble could have gathered a bunch of lemons since she has fallen into her inheritance if she had but listened to their plaintive plea," remarked Sabrina, the Show Girl, after we had seated ourselves at the table.

"Has some one been seeking your hand in marriage?" she was asked.

"Honest, there are more dubs around this town who had rather get married than work than there are actors on Broadway now. I have had three proposals since I have been back, one of marriage. I told them all 'no.' That I preferred to live a la carte. I could have become a farmer's bride in Emporia if I had but said the word. I didn't tell you how I came to sneak that snare, did I? You know I went out there with the intention of staying a month, surging around and showing the village belles that May Manton wasn't the only authority on correct dress. Ten days was my limit.

"The family and every one agreed that my metropolitan broadmindedness was too much of a strain on the sense of morality of the peasantry, as it were. No, nothing of the slightest consequence, nothing that would have caused the inhabitants of Broadway to even arch their eyebrows. All I did was to inhale a snootful and go out with a friend and stand the thriving little village of Emporia up on end and tip it over. 'Tis a strange tale. List, and I will unfold it to you. One day I was wafting slowly and sedately down to the Boston Store for my mail when lo! and behold, what did I see out in front of the Palace Hotel but an automobile. Believe me when I tell you, it was the first time I had looked a radiator in the face for a week. Two young fellows were monkeying around the machine, and as they were nice-looking chaps I gave them the furtive glance, and one of them stopped and asked me if he hadn't been introduced to me in the Harlem Casino. At any other time I would have taken his remark as a deep insult, inferring as it did that I was so far from Forty-second street, but now I could have fell on his neck and cried with joy. I told him that I had never met him in the place he had mentioned, but to let it go at that, and if he even knew where Harlem was it was introduction enough.

"Come to find out they were making a trip across the continent, and had stopped there to get a little gasolene for the machine. We talked things over and I found out that they knew several people I did, and anyway they were from New York and that helped a heap. They were going to leave that afternoon, but I prevailed upon them to stay over until the next day. I was invited into the hotel for dinner, and we opened the first bottle of champagne wine, as they say out West, that had been opened in Emporia since the Governor went through. In truth, the bottle was covered with specks, and the label had faded so you could hardly read it, but when the cork went 'wop!' three traveling men at the next table burst into tears.

"After we had consumed all the champagne wine they had in the snare, I tipped them off to a speak-easy, and we decided to ride down there in the machine, and then go for a little tour, as it were. By this time it had been noised through the city that some one had taken the bottle out of the show window, and a large crowd had assembled to see the plutocrats come forth. We capered blithely out to the machine, climbed in and hiked for the blind tiger. After the usual red tape the captain sold us about two quarts of jig-juice—the kind that makes a jack-rabbit spit in a bulldog's eye.

"Anon, we again went for a ride, and I am here to state that the way we breezed through that village made the proverbial Kansas cyclone look as if it was running on crutches. The inhabitants that didn't duck for the cellars stood on the plankwalk and made rude and discomplimentary remarks. Some well-meaning Rube had tipped his mitt to the town marshal, and that worthy cluck had stretched a rope from the blacksmith shop to the corner of the livery stable, so naturally we had to pause. Enter Marshal R.U.E. with business of making a pinch. After filing the usual protests we were haled before the Magistrate. Here's a copy of the testimony:

Marshal—Judge, Your Honor, these prisoners are charged with defacing landmarks, violating the pure food law, exceeding the speed limit and disorderly conduct. Judge, Your Honor, these miscreants defaced our landmarks by drinking the only bottle of champagne wine that has ever been in our village—the bottle that for so long has graced the window of our leading hotel and was looked on with pride and reverence by the townspeople. A bottle that has been cherished for generations until these monsters came with their ill-gotten gold and purchased same.

They violated the pure food law by drinking said bottle of champagne which has been proven by the State Board of Examiners to contain 18 per cent. alcohol. The aforesaid prisoners exceeded the speed limit by rushing through our quiet streets at a terrific pace, to the danger of the lives and limbs of our wives and children.

The prisoners at the bar are charged with disorderly conduct by the following facts: They emptied said bottle of champagne, which was reputed to hold one quart. That bottle of said wine was emptied completely, which is proven by your marshal, who, after the orgy in our leading hotel, did approach a waiter of said hotel and ask for a taste of said wine, but upon investigation the bottle was found to be entirely empty.

The aforesaid bottle contained one whole quart of an intoxicating beverage and was distributed among three people. Therefore, Judge, Your Honor, the prisoners must have been intoxicated and therefore disorderly. Your Honor, the prosecution rests its case.

Judge—Prisoners, step to the bar. You are charged with, etc., ad lib. What have you to say before sentence is passed upon you?

Prisoners—Not a blamed word.

Judge—I find the