infuriated bull has been killed in High Street, Tonbridge, after wrecking several shop windows. It is thought that the animal had misread the directions on its sugar card.

A number of people have complained that they could hear nothing of the recent air-raids over London, owing to the noise of the firing being drowned by the admonitory activities of the police.

THE BULLDOG BREED.

Company Commander (making sure of his men before the show). "NOW, WHEN WE GO OVER THE TOP TO-MORROW, YOU ALL KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TO MAKE FOR?"

Chorus of Tommies. "YUSS, SIR."

C.C. "WHAT IS IT, THEN?"

Chorus. "THEY GERMANS, SIR."

Our Centripetists.

"Mrs. Eckstein and Miss Eckstein have returned to London from Scotland, and they are leaving London immediately for London."—Brighton Standard and Fashionable Visitors' List.

"The Irish farmers are confident that the Food Controller's declared intention to fix the price of cattle at 6s. per cwt. for next January will not be carried into effect. They believe that Lord Rhondda must realise the necessity of making a substantial increase on this figure."—Saturday Herald (Dublin).

Lord RHONDDA, we understand, has already met the Irish farmers more than halfway by fixing the price at 60s.

"The Apia Blacksmiths, Ltd., will undertake contracts for the building of houses, with or without material."—Samoa Times.

Taking Our Pleasures Sadly.

A correspondent informs us that the playbill of IBSEN'S Ghosts at the Pavilion Theatre bears the following words: "Mr. Neville Chamberlain says, 'It is essential there should be provided amusements and recreations which can take people for an hour or so out of themselves and return them to their work refreshed and reinvigorated.'"

SOCIETY NOTES.

By The Hanger-on.

AIR-RAIDS AND OTHER DIVERSIONS.

A promising young poet of my acquaintance, who in the midst of war's obsessions still finds time and taste for the exercise of his art (he is in a Government office), has allowed me to see the opening couplet of what I understand to be a very ambitious poem. It runs as follows:—

Many good judges of poetry to whom I have quoted these lines think them very clever.

A witty friend of mine tells me that he is thinking of bringing out a handy and up-to-date edition of the Almanach de Gotha, special attention being paid to the changes of the Moon.

Society is always on the look-out for some new distraction from the tedium of War. The latest vogue with smart people is to get up little air-raid parties for the Tube, to be followed by auction or a small boy-and-girl dance. Sections of tunnel or platform can be engaged beforehand by arrangement with the Constabulary.

I hear that my friend, ARTHUR BOURCHIER, continues to draw crowds to the Oxford. I was dining the other day with a young and brilliant officer, who has seen two months' active service in the A.S.C. and won golden opinions at the Base, and he assured me that there is no "Better 'Ole" than the Oxford during an