Command Headquarters (who, of course,

Ride us as Cockneys ride a horse—

I mean, without considering

The animal; the ride's the thing)

On Army Form—I cannot think

Precisely which; the form was pink—

Instructed Captain So-and-so,

With certain other ranks, to go

And at a given hour report,

With rifles, such-and-such a sort,

So many rounds of S.A.A.

Per man, and so much oats and hay

Per horse (as specified and charged

On War Establishments, enlarged,

Revised and issued as amended);

And here the said instruction ended,

"Signed, Eustace Blank, G.S.O.3,

For D.A.Q.A.M.A.G."

The reason why the form was thus

Truncated was—alas for us!—

That Major Blank, a hasty man,

Neglected his accustomed plan

And failed, in short, to P.T.O.,

So never told us where to go.

We drafted a polite reply:—

"Your such a number, Fourth July;

Instructions touching destination

Requested, please, for information."

And Captain So-and-So and men

Donned and inspected kits.

And then

Command Headquarters went and wired:

"The draft in question not required.

When any draft is wanted you

Will hear precisely what to do;

No error ever passes through

This office. You will therefore not

In future tell US what is what;

WE know; and WE are on the spot.

The G.O.C.-in-C. is much

Displeased."

The old Headquarters' touch.