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قراءة كتاب Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 38, December 17, 1870.
تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"
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TIFFANY & CO., UNION SQUARE, Offer a large and choice stock of LADIES' WATCHES, Of all sizes and every variety of Casing, with Movements of the finest quality. |
We will Mail Free A COVER On Receipt of 50 Cents, OR THE TITLE PAGE ALONE, FREE, On application to PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING CO., 83 Nassau Street. |
HARRISON BRADFORD & CO.'S STEEL PENS. These pens are of a finer quality, more durable, and cheaper than any other Pen in the market. Special attention is called to the following grades, as being better suited for business purposes than any Pen manufactured. The "505," "22," and the "Anti-Corrosive." We recommend for bank and office use. D. APPLETON & CO., |
PUNCHINELLOVol. II. No. 38.SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17, 1870. PUBLISHED BY THE PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY, 83 NASSAU STREET, NEW YORK. |
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PRANG'S LATEST PUBLICATIONS: "Joy of Autumn," "Prairie Flowers," "Lake George," "West Point," "Beethoven," large and small. |
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See 15th page for Extra Premiums. |
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The most Preferred Stock on the Market.
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Bound Volume No. 1. The first volume of PUNCHINELLO, ending with No. 26, September 24, 1870, Bound in Extra Cloth, is now ready for delivery, PRICE $2.50. Sent postpaid to any part of the United States on receipt of price. A copy of the paper for one year, from October 1st, No. 27, and the Bound Volume (the latter prepaid,) will be sent to any subscriber for $5.50. Three copies for one year, and three Bound Volumes, with an extra copy of Bound Volume, to any person sending us three subscriptions for $16.50. One copy of paper for one year, with a fine chromo premium, for $4.00 Single copies, mailed free .10 Back numbers can always be supplied, as the paper is electrotyped.
Very Saleable Book. Orders supplied at a very liberal discount. All remittances should be made in Post Office orders. Canvassers wanted for the paper, everywhere. Address, Punchinello Publishing Co., 83 NASSAU ST., N. Y. P.O. Box No, 2783. |
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HIRAM GREEN, ESQ., LAIT GUSTICE OF THE PEECE. Now writing for "Punchinello," IS PREPARED TO DISCOURSE BEFORE LYCEUMS AND ASSOCIATIONS, ON "BILE." Address for terms &c., W. A. WILKINS, Care of Punchinello Publishing Co., 83 Nassau Street New York. P.O. Box No. 2783. |
FACTS FOR THE LADIES. I have a Wheeler & Wilson machine (No. 289), bought of Mr. Gardner in 1853, he having used it a year. I have used it constantly, in shirt manufacturing as well as family sewing, sixteen years. My wife ran it four years, and earned between $700 and $800, besides doing her housework. I have never expended fifty cents on it for repairs. It is, to-day, in the best of order, stitching fine linen bosoms nicely. I started manufacturing shirts with this machine, and now have over one hundred of them in use. I have paid at least $3,000 for the stitching done by this old machine, and it will do as much now as any machine I have. W.F. TAYLOR. BERLIN, N.Y. |
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APPLICATIONS FOR ADVERTISING IN SHOULD BE ADDRESSED TO Room No. 4, No. 83 Nassau Street, N.Y. |
FOLEY'S 256 BROADWAY. |
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NEW YORK DAILY DEMOCRAT, AN EVENING PAPER. JAMES H. LAMBERT, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. All the news fifteen hours in advance of Morning Papers. PRICE TWO CENTS. Subscription price by mail, $6.00. |
The only Journal of its kind in America!! THE AMERICAN CHEMIST: A MONTHLY JOURNAL DEVOTED ESPECIALLY TO AMERICAN INTERESTS. EDITED BY The Proprietors and Publishers of THE AMERICAN CHEMIST, having purchased the subscription list and stock of the American reprint of the CHEMICAL NEWS, have decided to advance the interests of the American Chemical Science by the publication of a Journal which shall be a medium of communication for all practical, thinking, experimenting, and manufacturing scientific men throughout the country. The columns of THE AMERICAN CHEMIST are open for the reception of original articles from any part of the country, subject to approval of the editor. Letters of inquiry on any points of interest within the scope of the Journal will receive prompt attention. THE AMERICAN CHEMIST Is a Journal of especial interest to SCHOOLS AND MEN OF SCIENCE, TO COLLEGES, APOTHECARIES, DRUGGISTS, PHYSICIANS, ASSAYERS, DYERS, PHOTOGRAPHERS, MANUFACTURERS, And all concerned in scientific pursuits. Subscription, $5.00 per annum, Address WILLIAM BALDWIN & CO., |
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Bowling Green Savings-Bank 33 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. Open Every Day from 10 A.M. to 3 P.M. Deposits of any sum, from Ten Cents Six per Cent interest, INTEREST ON NEW DEPOSITS HENRY SMITH, President WALTER ROCHE, |
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Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1870, by the PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY, MAN AND WIVES. A TRAVESTY. By MOSE SKINNER. CHAPTER FIFTH. QUEER DOINGS AT THE HALF-WAY HOUSE.
ARCHIBALD sank down on the sofa, bathed in a cold perspiration. "Oh, don't" he groaned; "you mustn't. 'Twasn't my fault; JEFF sent me." Her eyes flashed on him angrily. "Yes, you helped JEFF set a trap for me," said she, "and you've fell into it yourself. Come, here's the minister." But ARCHIBALD didn't come, he only turned white, and made a gurgling noise. "There should be somebody here competent to give away the bridegroom," said the minister, with an air of annoyance. "Sure, and it's meself as'll do that same," said TEDDY, obeying a nod from ANN. "Away now with sich modeshty, youngster. Bear up and be a man. It'll soon be over. And if ye make a fuss," he added in a whisper, "I'll knock the head off ye. Do ye mind that?" Then, as if relating his experience to a large and sympathetic audience: "'Twas just that way I felt meself like, when the knot was tied. Wake in the knees sim'larly, and a faylin' like I was a cold dish-cloth wrung out. But Lord, he'll hold up his head agin, I'll warrant ye." "Oh, why can't you let me go?" begged ARCHIBALD, "I ain't done nothin'." TEDDY smiled. 'Twas such a smile as a dentist gives, just before he swoops upon his prey. "Did you iver now?" said he, appealing to the minister. "What a man it is. As bashful as a young gyrl, without a mammy to smooth it over. Steady now. There you are, as nice as a cotton hat," he continued, as he put ARCHIBALD'S arm within ANN'S. "Lean aginst me as hard as iver ye like, man. I well knows as I'll nivir git me reward in this world, for all the young cooples as I've startid in life, but, thank Hevins, there's another." The ceremony commenced. What can one coy youth do, single-handed, against a woman who is determined to marry him? Like the beautiful young lady in the endless love-stories, who faints at the altar with her hard-hearted father, the Duke, on one side, and the relentless bridegroom, the Count, on the other, ARCHIBALD BLINKSOP was hemmed in by destiny. There was alas! no steel-clad knight with his visor down, to rush in, and shout in trumpet tones: "Hold! I forbid the bans—— To be continued in our next. Back numbers sent to any address." No. Steel-clad knights are, unfortunately, somewhat scarce in Indiana, and so the ceremony continued. TEDDY was first bridesman. He not only supported ARCHIBALD, but he held his head and jerked it forward occasionally, thus assisting in the responses. The ceremony concluded. At its close ARCHIBALD BLINKSOP, according to the Law of Indiana, was a Man and One Wife. At its close ANN BRUMMET, according to the same Law, was a Woman and One Husband. The world is large. To a woman of her immense strategical resources this was but a fair beginning. Blest with a good constitution and rare matrimonial attainments, why should she falter in the good work thus begun? They picked the new-made husband up, limp as a rag, and laid him tenderly on the sofa. TEDDY and the minister withdrew, and the Honeymoon commenced. ARCHIBALD began to recover. "Where am I?" he moaned faintly. "You're married," said ANN. He groaned, and wiped the perspiration from his pallid brow. "Can I go home?" he inquired feebly. "Yes," replied ANN. "Go, and when I want you I'll come for you. Tell your dear BELINDA that ANN BRUMMET, the poor relation, has got ahead of her on this heat. She didn't think, did she, when she was courting you, that she was only just getting you ready for me?" But before she was through, ARCHIBALD, moaning in broken accents that he wished he was dead, had rushed frantically from the house. ANN was congratulating herself on her success, when there came another rap from TEDDY. "Sure and it's your lawyer this time. Will I sind him away?" "No," said ANN, "I want to see him. And bring in some oysters and sherry. I'm getting hungry." "Well," said the lawyer, entering and taking a chair familiarly, where's your man?" "Gone," said ANN. "What! without the divorce? Whew! that's too bad. How did it happen?" "JEFF didn't come," replied ANN. "He sent a substitute. But I wasn't going to be fooled that way, so I just drafted him instead." "What! married him?" queried the lawyer, incredulously. "Yes, why not? DIGBY was here, you see, and I could not find it in my heart to cheat the poor man out of a job, with a large family on his hands, too." And she laughed. "Well, that is a joke," was the lawyer's reply. And he rubbed his hands appreciatively. "Who is the fellow? What's his name?" "BLINKSOP," said ANN, "ARCHIBALD. Oh, won't there be a row," she chuckled. "He's engaged to my cousin BELINDA, you see." At this juncture TEDDY entered with the oysters and sherry. "Come," said ANN to the lawyer, "sit up here and have something to eat, and I'll tell you all about it. TEDDY," she continued facetiously, "will you ask a blessing?" TEDDY closed his eyes reverentially. "For what I'm going to resayve out of this," said he, "may I be truly thankful, and, oh Lord! I wish 'twas more." And he went out with a solemn air. "Did I understand you to say," inquired the lawyer, after he had animated his diaphragm with two glasses of sherry, "that this BLINKSOP is engaged to your cousin?" "Yes," replied ANN, struggling with a very large oyster. "I call her cousin, but there's no blood-relation." "When did the engagement take place?" he inquired, hoisting another glass of sherry. "Only yesterday; but it's pretty well known that she's been soft on him for a good while." "Has the engagement been formally announced?" said he, holding the now empty bottle upside down, and squeezing it vigorously. "Let me fill your glass," he continued, holding the bottle to the light and examining it critically, with one eye closed. "No, I thank you, I've got enough. Yes," she went on, "the engagement was known far and wide in less than two hours. There was a croquet party at the house yesterday, and BELINDA told 'em all. Why?" "Because," replied the lawyer, setting his glass upside down, and rolling the empty bottle along the floor, with a dejected air, "because it may affect this marriage of yours." "What, my marriage with BLINKSOP?" "Yes." "In what way?" "It may test its legality," was the answer. "Mind, I don't say your marriage is not valid; but, in this State, if a couple solemnly engage themselves, they are, to all intents and purposes, legally married. In New England it is even more rigid. There, I understand, if a young man goes home with a young lady on a Sunday evening, it is considered as good as an engagement; and if, on the next Sunday evening, he goes home with another |
"Tell the minister," said ANN to TEDDY, "to come in. If I don't get a husband out of this somehow, I ain't smart. I'll just marry the man I've got here."