THREE YEARS THE WHOLE NATION MAKES SUCH A STUPENDOUS EFFORT AS WE HAVE NOT AS YET DREAMED OF," ETC., ETC.

Bookmaker (with long experience of the Turf but none of Coursing). "I'M GIVIN' YOU SIX TO FOUR AGAINST THE FAWN, SIR. NOW I'LL GIVE ANYONE SIX TO FOUR AGAINST THE BLACK."

Friend (hurriedly). "BUT YOU CAN'T GIVE THOSE ODDS WITH ONLY TWO RUNNERS."

Bookmaker. "WHY? AIN'T THE BLOOMIN' RABBIT GOT A CHANCE?"

NEW MEN AND OLD FACES.

[According to a writer in The Daily Chronicle, Lord Morley's face "in conformation gets more and more like Goethe's."]

A POSER FROM THE BENCH.

From the report of a collision case:—

"Mr. Justice ——: 'Which car hit the other first?' 'I cannot say.'"—Freeman's Journal.

"OUR SWEEP IN THE HOLY LAND."—Daily News.

Ours is in Mesopotamia.

HOW IT STRIKES A SOLDIER.

THE KAISER. "WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS LLOYD GEORGE AFFAIR?"

MARSHAL VON HINDENBURG. "I'VE NO TIME TO READ POLITICAL SPEECHES, SIRE. THIS FELLOW HAIG KEEPS ME TOO BUSY."

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Monday, November 12th.—An old Parliamentarian, when asked by a friend to what party the PRIME MINISTER now belonged, sententiously replied, "He used to be a Radical; he will some day be a Conservative; and at present he is the leader of the Improvisatories."

The latest example of his inventive capacity does not meet with unmitigated approval. Members were very curious to know exactly how the new Allied Council was going to work, and what would be the relations between the Council's Military advisers and the existing General Staffs of the countries concerned. Mr. BONAR LAW assured the House that the responsibility for strategy would remain where it is now, but did not altogether succeed in explaining why in that case the Council required other military advisers.

The SECRETARY FOR SCOTLAND is about the mildest-mannered man that ever sat upon the Treasury Bench. But even he can be "très méchant" at a pinch. When Mr. WATT renewed his complaint that sheriffs-principal in Scotland had very little to do for the high salaries they received, Mr. MUNRO replied that "it would just be as unsafe to measure the activities of the sheriff-principal by the number of appeals he hears as to measure the political activities of my hon. friend by the number of questions he puts."

PENSIONS.

Mr. Hodge.

The Pensions Department at Chelsea is to be reorganised. Mr. HODGE excused the delays by pointing out that an average of thirty-three thousand letters a day is despatched, but, as he added that there is a staff of four thousand five hundred persons to do it, it hardly looks as if they were overworked.

Tuesday, November 13th.—The House of Lords was to have discussed the state of Ireland, but, owing to the absence of its LEADER, fell back upon the less exciting but more practical topics of sugar-substitutes for jam, and barley for beer. It was cheering to learn from the Duke of MARLBOROUGH that the jam-manufacturers gave great care to exclude arsenic from their glucose, and from Lord RHONDDA that there would be plenty of barley for both cakes and ale.

Mr. WARDLE is the latest example of the poacher turned gamekeeper. A few months ago, as leader of the Labour Party, he was instant in criticism of the ineptitutes of Government officials. This afternoon, upon his old friend, Mr. TYSON WILSON, venturing to refer to the "stupid decisions" of the Board of Trade, Mr. WARDLE was down on him in a moment. With the air of one who had been born and brought up in Whitehall Gardens, he replied, "Stupid decisions are not made by the Board of Trade."

The Pacifists had rather a mixed day. They were visibly relieved when Mr. BONAR LAW (supported by Mr. ASQUITH) declined to admit into the Bill for extending the life of this Parliament a provision enabling constituencies to get rid of Members who had ceased to represent them. But they did not like his contemptuous reference to their argumentative