hitherto, none stir you.

Say, has the hero arrived, and the hour?

No Infant Hercules, surely, can tackle you,

Ancient abortion, with hope of success.

It needeth a true full-grown hero to shackle you,

Jupiter's son, and Alcmene's, no less!

Our civic Hercules smacks of the nursery,

Not three years old, though ambitious, no doubt;

You'll scarce be captured by tentatives cursory.

Snared by a "motion," or scared by a "spout,"

Hera's pet, offspring of Typhon, the lion-clad

Hero assailed, con amore; but you,

Callous as Behemoth, hard as an iron-clad,

"Conciliation" with coldness will view

Fancy "approaching" the Hydra with honey-bait,

Tempting the monster to parley and purr!

How will Monopoly look on a money-bait?

Hercules, too, who would "like to defer?"

Not quite a true hard-shell hero—in attitude—

Hercules (County) Concilians looks;

Thinks he to move a true Hydra to gratitude?

Real Leviathan chortles at hooks!

"Come, pretty Hydra! 'Agreement provisional,'

Properly baited with sound L.S.D.,

Ought to entice you!" He's scorn and derision all,

Hydra, if true to his breed. We shall see!

Just so a groom, with the bridle behind him,

Tempts a free horse with some corn in a sieve.

Will London's Hydra let "tentatives" blind him,

Snap at the bait, and the tempter believe?

Or will the "hero"—in form of Committee—

Really prove wax for the Hydra to mould?

Yes, there's the club, but it's rather a pity

Hercules seems a bit feeble of hold.

Tentative heroes may suit modern urgency,

LUBBOCK may win where a Hercules fails.

If we now hunt, upon public emergency,

Stymphalian Birds, 'tis with salt for their tails!

"YE GODS, WHAT A TERRIBLE TWIST!"

Statistics are sweet things, and full of startling surprises. Like the Frenchman in "Killaloe" "you never know what they'll be up to next." Here, for instance, is a "statement showing the decrease in price in the United States of many articles within the past ten years largely consumed by the agricultural community." And among these "many articles" "largely consumed," are "mowing machines, barb fence-wire, horseshoes, forks, wire-cloth, slop-buckets, wheelbarrows, and putty." No wonder dyspepsia is the national disease in America. Fancy "consuming" French staples, pie-plates (though they sound almost edible), and putty!!! The ostrich is supposed to be capable of digesting such dainties as broken bottles, and tenpenny nails, but that voracious fowl is evidently not "in it" with the "Agricultural community" of America.

ODD.—A Correspondent says he found this advertisement in the Guardian:—

RECTOR of S. Michael's, Lichfield, requires help of a LAY-READER. Visiting, S.-school, cottage services, ass. in choir, &c. Good salary.

The explanation, we believe, is, that "ass." is the abbreviated form of "assisting." The Rector had better have the unabbreviated assistant in choir, particularly if he be already short of choristers; unless the Rector should be also Vicar of Bray, in which case the "ass." could be transferred from Lichfield to the more appropriate living.