قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, January 17, 1891
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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, January 17, 1891
window, broken and all; it's wonderful how they can do it! And there's poor Mrs. 'OGG—it's real butter and a real loaf she's cutting, and the poor baby, too!... Here's the actual casts taken after they were murdered. Oh, and there's Mrs. PEARCEY wheeling the perambulator—it's the very perambulator! No, not the very one—they've got that at the other place, and the piece of toffee the baby sucked. Have they really! Oh, we must try and go there, too, before the children's holidays are over. And this is all? Well, well, everything very nice, I will say. But a pity they couldn't get the real perambulator!
BURNS VERSUS BURNS.
A SONG OF THE GREAT SCOTCH STRIKE. TUNE—"Push about the Jorum!"
"Oh, let us not like snarling tykes,
In wrangling be divided;
Till slap comes in an uncoo loon
And with a rung decide it.
Be Britain still to Britain true,
Among oursels united;
For never but by British hands
Maun British wrongs be righted!"
ROBERT BURNS's "Dumfries Volunteers."
Shade of BURNS, loquitur:—
O, rantin' roarin' JOHNNY BURNS,
My namesake—in a fashion,
You do my Scots the warst o' turns
Sae stirrin' up their passion.
Whence come ye, JOHNNY? Frae the Docks?
Or frae the County Council?
Sure Scots can do their ain hard knocks;
We take your brag and bounce ill!
Fal de ral, &c.
Does Cockneydom invasion threat?
Then let the louns beware, Sir!
Scotland, they'll find, is Scotland yet,
And for hersel' can fare, Sir.
The Thames shall run to join the Tweed,
Criffel adorn Thames valley,
'Ere wanton wrath and vulgar greed
On Scottish ground shall rally.
Fal de ral, &c.
A man's a man for a' that, JOHN,
And ane's as good as tither;
But that ship's crew is fated, JOHN,
That mutinies in bad weather.
Nae flouts to "honest industry"
Shall fa' frae the Exciseman;
But ane who blaws up strife like this,
Wisdom deems not a wise man.
Fal de ral, &c.
Scot business may be out o' tune,
True harmony may fail in't,
But deil a cockney tinkler loon
We need to rant and rail in't.
Our fathers on occasion fought,
And so can we, if needed;
But windy words with frenzy fraught
Sound Scots should pass unheeded.
Fal de ral, &c.
Let toilers not, like snarling tykes,
In wrangling be divided,
Till foreign Trade, which marks our Strikes,
Steps in, and we're derided.
Be Scotland still to Scotland true,
Amang oursels united;
'Tis not by firebrands, JOHN, like you
Our wrangs shall best be righted.
Fal de ral, &c.
The knave who'd crush the toilers doun,
And him, his true-born brither,
Who'd set the mob aboon the Crown,
Should be kicked out together.
Go, JOHN! Learn temperance, banish spleen!
Scots cherish throne and steeple,
But while we sing "God save the Queen,"
We won't forget the People.
Fal de ral, &c.
A LENGTHY NOVEL.—A Thousand Lines of Her Own, in 3000 vols., by the Authoress of A Line of Her Own, in 3 vols. N.B.—What a long line this must be to occupy three vols.! A work of and for a lifetime.
![THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID.](@public@vhost@g@gutenberg@html@files@12866@12866-h@images@27.png)
THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID.
Small Stranger (to Master of the house). "OW MY! THE GENTLEMAN AS OPENS THE DOOR WILL GIVE IT YER, IF YER RING THAT BELL!"
OPERATIC GOSSIP.
During the preparation of Sir ARTHUR SULLIVAN's new Opera, Ivanhoe, a grave objection to the subject occurred to him, which was, that one of the chief personages in the dramatis personæ must be "Gilbert"—i.e., Sir Brian de Bois-Guilbert. True, that Sir Brian is the villain of the piece, but this, to Sir ARTHUR's generous disposition, only made matters worse. It was evident that he couldn't change the character's name to Sir Brian de Bois-Sullivan, and Mr. D'OYLEY CARTE refused to allow his name to appear in the bill except as Lessee. "I can't put him in simply as Sir Brian," said the puzzled Composer, "unless I make him an Irishman, and I don't think my librettist will consent to take this liberty with SCOTT's novel." "But the name in the Opera isn't pronounced the same as W.S.G.'s," objected D'OYLEY. "It will be outside the Opera by ninety out of a hundred," answered Sir ARTHUR. "But," continued D'OYLEY, persistently, "it isn't spelt the same." "No," replied Sir ARTHUR, "that's the worst of it; there's 'u' and 'i' in it; we're both mixed up with this Guilbert." Fortunately, the Composer and the Author made up their quarrel, and as a memento of the happy termination to the temporary misunderstanding, Sir ARTHUR, in a truly generous mood, designed to call the character "Sir Brian de Bois-Gilbert-and-Sullivan." Whether the mysterious librettist, whose name has only lately been breathed in the public ear, insisted on SCOTT's original name being retained or not, it is now pretty certain that there will be no departure from the great novelist's original nomenclature.
A BREACH OF VERACITY.—According to the papers, the Chief Secretary's Lodge in Dublin is blocked with parcels of clothing designed for the poor in the West of Ireland, sent in response to the request of Lord ZETLAND and Mr. ARTHUR BALFOUR. We understand there is no truth in the report, that amongst the first arrivals was a parcel containing Mr. O'BRIEN's br—s, with a note explaining, that as he was about to go to prison again, he had no further use for the article.
NEW IRISH DRINK.—The Parnellite "Split."
A REMINISCENCE OF C.K.
The excellent article in the Times on the 6th inst. upon CHARLES KEENE was worthy of its subject. The writer in the P.M.G. of a day earlier performed his self-imposed task with a judicious and loving hand, and, as far as I can judge, his account of our lamented colleague seems to be correct. As to our CARLO's Mastership in his Black-and-White Art, there can be but one opinion among Artists. Those who possess the whole of the Once a Week series will there find admirable specimens of CHARLES KEENE in a more serious vein. His most striking effects were made as if by sudden inspiration. I remember a story which exactly illustrates my meaning. An artistic friend was in KEENE's studio, while CARLO was at work, pipe in mouth, of course. "I can't