You are here

قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, January 17, 1891

تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"

‏اللغة: English
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, January 17, 1891

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, January 17, 1891

تقييمك:
0
No votes yet
المؤلف:
دار النشر: Project Gutenberg
الصفحة رقم: 5

Magazine, not to extract and quote more than one column of "Talleyrand's Memoirs," which appear in this number for January. The Publisher of the C.I.M.M. does not appeal personally to the Baron—who is now the last, bar one, of the Barons, and that bar one is one at the Bar,—but, for all that, the Baron hereby and hereon takes his solummest Half-a-Davey or his entire Davey, that he will not write, engrave, or represent, or cause to be, &c, for purposes of quotation, one single word, much less line, of Tallyho—beg pardon, of Talleyrand,—extracts from whose memoirs are now appearing in the aforesaid C.I.M.M. But all he will say at present is this, that, if the secret and private Memoirs haven't got in them anything more thrilling or startling, or out of the merest common-place, than appears in this number of the C.I.M.M., then the Baron will say that he would prefer reading such contributions as M. de BLOWITZ's story of "How he became a Special," or The Pigmies of the African Forest by HENRY M. STANLEY in the same number of this Mag.

What the Baron dearly loves is, ELLIOT STOCK-IN-TRADE The Book-worm, always most interesting to Book-worms, and almost as interesting to Book-grubs or Book-butterflies. By the way, the publishing office of The Book-worm ought to be in Grub Street. For what sort of fish is The Book-worm an attractive bait? I suppose there are queer fish in the Old Book trade that can take in any number of Book-worms, as is shown from a modern instance, well and wisely commented upon in this very number for January, No. 38, which is excellent food for worms; the whole series, indeed, must be a very Diet of Worms. Success to the Book-worm! May it grow to double the size, and be a glow-worm, to enlighten us in the bye-paths of literature. "Prosit!" says the Baron.

I would that some one would write of BROWNING's work as HENRY VAN DYKE has written of TENNYSON's. To the superficial and cursory reader of the Laureate, the Baron, sitting by the fire on a winter's night, the wind howling over the sea, and the snow drifting against the window, and being chucked in handfuls down the chimney, and frizzling on the fire, says, get this book, published by ELKIN MATHEWS: ça donne à penser, and this is its great merit. "Come into the Garden, Maud"—no, thank you, not to-night; but give me my shepherd's pipe, with the fragrant bird's-eye in it, with [Greek: ton grogon], while I sit by the cheerful fire, in the best of good company—my books.

Our Mr. GRIFFITHES (CHESTER, MAYHEW, BROOME, AND GRIFFITHES) has been all the way From Bedford Row to Swazieland, and has written a lively narrative of his perilous journey. He went on a professional retainer. You don't catch Bedford Row in Swazieland on other terms. Being there, he kept his eyes open, saw a good deal, and describes his impressions in racy fashion. He did not like the coffee served en route, and was disappointed with the Southern Cross; but on the whole enjoyed the trip. One would naturally expect that the price of his book would be six-and-eight-pence, or, regarding it in the form of a letter, three-and-fourpence, but BRADBURY, AGNEW, & Co. issue it at a shilling.

THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS & Co.


WHAT OUR ARTIST HAS TO PUT UP WITH.

WHAT OUR ARTIST HAS TO PUT UP WITH.

Our Artist. "WELL, HOW DO YOU LIKE THE PORTRAITS, MISS BUNNY? THE SITTERS ARE ALL OLD FRIENDS OF YOURS, I BELIEVE?"

Miss Bunny (triumphantly). "YES; AND, ONLY THINK, I'VE ACTUALLY MANAGED TO GUESS THEM ALL!"


ARBITRATION.

Seal, suddenly emerging, loquitur:—

Belay, you two lubbers, avast there! avast there!

What signifies squalling and squabbling?

You're both argufying a good bit too fast there,

Whilst that which you stand on seems wobbling.

You'll be in a mess, Messmates, shortly, the pair of you.

Give me a thought in the matter!

My interest's at stake, and it isn't quite fair of you

Me to ignore 'midst your clatter.

If 'twere not for me, Mates, this cold Behring's Sea, Mates,

Would hardly strike you as so tempting.

Do grant your poor prey, if I may make so free, Mates,

From slaughter some annual exempting!

I'm worried and walloped without intermission

Until even family duties

Quite fail, whilst your countrymen cudgel and fish on.

By Jingo, some of 'em are beauties!

My poor wife and children have not half a chance, Mates.

That's not to your interest, I reckon.

Cease shindy, and on a new course make advance, Mates,

Where sense and humanity beckon.

There's not much of either in cruelly clubbing

My progeny all out of season;

And if you are bent upon mutual drubbing,

You must quite have parted with reason.

Mare clausum, be blowed! That's all BLAINE's big bow-wow, Mates.

Men can't thus monopolise oceans.

Diplomacy must find a compromise now, Mates,

And, well—I have told you my notions.

Give me a close-time,—I shall be very grateful—

And leave the Sea open! What more, Mates?

For brothers like you to be huffing, is hateful.

Be friends, think of me, and—bong swor, Mates!

[Dives under.


UP-TO-TIME TABLE, FROM THE NORTH.

Morning
Fast.
Mineral
and Parl.
General
Express.
Traffic and
Even. Mail.
Edinburgh
(Waverley Station)
7 A.M. to
9.30
11 A.M. A Noon F 9 P.M. L
Carlisle 12.15 ... ... ...
Hawick 4.30 B ... ...
Galashiels 9.45 ... 2.15 G 1 A.M. M
Motherwell{ 1 P.M.
(Stopped
by riot)
}4 P.M. C 3.19 H 3.20 N
St. Margaret's Works 3.30 5 D ... ...
Perth 9.45 A.M. ... 11.26 I ...
Glasgow 12.30 P.M. ... ...

Pages