قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 21, 1891

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 21, 1891

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 21, 1891

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دار النشر: Project Gutenberg
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Who misinformed him? A worthy henchman, as indignant as was Sam Weller when he found his beloved master's name trifled with, writes to ask me, "Ain't nobody to be whopped for takin' this here liberty, Sir?" With the immortal Mr. Pickwick, the Baron replies, "Certainly not. Not on any account." And, whatever that sturdy henchman may murmur to himself, he at once obeys. "Bring me my books!" cries the Baron, "I am off to the review."

The Baron's Deputy writes, that he has again been steeping himself in poetry, and reports as follows:—Ionica (GEORGE ALLEN) is a little volume, which no admirer of true poetry should fail to possess. The author now calls himself W. CORY, but he was known by a different name to many generations of Etonians. His Muse generally wears a classical robe, but her speech is always delightfully musical. She has beautiful cadences, that haunt the memory like some old Volkslied. In spite of a careless confusion between "thou" and "you," I defy anybody to read "Heraclitus," to take only one instance, without a sense of pleasure which will compel him to learn the two verses by heart. But the Muse is pathetic, playful, and patriotic, too, when the occasion fits, and, whatever she sings, she sings with genuine taste and feeling. Would that we might hope for more of her pure music. So far the Deputy.

Was that excentric character in David Copperfield nameless, who was represented as sitting in some sort of slop-shop, wheezing out fiercely, "O my lights and liver! O goroo, goroo!" I think DICKENS didn't give him a name, good or bad; but his constant repetition of the above outlandish exclamations has impressed upon him an awful and terrific personality, which places him among the more popular creations of Dickensian genius. Of what is this à propos? you will ask the Baron. "Well," he will make reply, "it is à propos of cookery books, and bookery cooks; the latter being those who are not above teaching themselves from the sacred books of Cookery, and who can put in practice the lessons they learn therein. Now," quoth the Baron, "let me recommend you to ask at CHAPMAN AND HALL's for Hilda's 'Where Is It' of Recipes, a work got up as simply and substantially as a good dinner should be, with 'pages in waiting,' quite blank, all ready for your notes,—the book, like a dining-table, being appropriately interleaved; and there is, happy thought, a pencil in the cover-side most handy for the intending Lucullus." The season of Lent is an excellent one for cookery-books, because you can be studying for the dinner-giving season, and then—do not forget the generally excellent advice of your friend,

THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.


'WHEN GREEK MEETS GREEK.'

"WHEN GREEK MEETS GREEK."

"THERE NOW, MR. MOSS! THERE'S A PICTURE FOR YER! WHY, HE'S REGULAR DOWNRIGHT BUILT FOR YER, THAT LITTLE 'ORSE IS! SUIT YER TO A T,—AND DIRT-CHEAP AT A HUNDRED-AND-TWENTY GUINEAS!"

"EXACTLY, MR. ISAACS. KNOCK OFF THE HUNDRED, AND HE'S MINE!"


THE RIVAL "JARVIES;"

OR, THE IRISH JAUNTING CAR.

AIR:—"The Low-backed Car."

"Honest John" sings:—

When first I knew CH-RL-S ST-RT,

'Twas in a happier day,

The Jaunting Car he drove in

Went gaily all the way.

But now the Car seems all askew,

Lop-wheel'd, and slack of spring;

Myself and WILL, in fear of a spill,

Feel little disposed to sing,

As we sit on the Jaunting Car,

The drivers at open war,

Seem little to care

For a Grand Old Fare,

As they fight for the Jaunting Car.

CH-RL-S ST-RT at one rein, Sir,

And J-ST-N at the other.

Give prospect small of progress

In pummelling one another.

As Honest JOHN my chance is gone

Of helping ill-used PAT,

If the Union of Hearts in Shindy starts,

And the Message of Peace falls flat.

WILL and I on the Jaunting Car,

With the couple of Jarvies at war,

Are sad to our souls,

Wherefore win at the polls

If we lose on the Jaunting Car?

In battle's wild commotion,

With proud and hostile SM-TH,

O'er Land or Tithe, our hearts were blithe,

Till P-RN-LL sapped our pith.

But "Mr. Fox's" lethal darts

Make "Union" all my eye;

Our ranks they thin (whilst our enemies grin),

As right and left they fly.

Though we cling to the Jaunting Car,

We were better out of it, by far;

Not the G.O.M.'s art

Can those Jarvies part

Who fight for the Jaunting Car.

I rather like this Car, Sir,

With GL-DST-NE by my side;

But row galore is an awful bore.

When two would-be whips collide.

With J-ST-N seated forninst us,

To victory we might haste,

But with squabbling bhoys, and a deuce of a noise,

Our efforts are cut to waste.

Though we're perched on the Jaunting Car,

Our purpose these madmen mar,

Whilst W-LL-M and I,

With a tear and a sigh,

Hold on to the Jaunting Car.


PAR ABOUT PICTURES.—Messrs. J. and W. VOKINS, Great Portland Street, have an interesting loan collection of some of the Old Giants of the English Water-colour School on view. There may be found TURNER, DE WINT, WILLIAM HUNT, HOLLAND, COPLEY FIELDING, STANFIELD, MULREADY, J.D. HARDING, besides many others. How good are the Old Giants, and their works are as bright and fresh as the day they were painted. Their reputations have not faded, neither have their pictures, and moreover, they are not likely to. And so say all of us! And so says, Yours paragonically, OLD PAR.


THE HUNDRED-AND-TEN-TONNER!

What is it, that, with labour skilled,

Though taking full three years to build,

The place of better weapons filled?

The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!

What was it, though, that had to stoop,

When fired, to putting on a hoop,

Spite this, yet found its muzzle "droop"?

The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!

And what, that matters made more hot,

Such curious ammunition got,

It cost £400 a shot?

The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!

Yet, much to the tax-payer's bliss,

What, firing such a sum as this.

At eighteen hundred yards would miss?

The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!

What is it, spite the First Lord's grace,

That guns of better make and case

At half the cost could well replace?

The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!

So, what no more upon the deep

Should JOHN BULL floating useless keep,

But quickly from his Navy sweep?

The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!


PROPOSED TUNNEL BETWEEN ENGLAND AND IRELAND.—An Irishman observed this would bridge over a lot of difficulties; he begged pardon, he meant it would

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