so he sat there, and thort out about the most himportentest ewent of his life; and when I waited upon him at the "Grand Hotel" arterwards, I don't think as I ewer seed a reel Gent, as he suttenly is, in such jolly good sperrits. So, seeing how werry successfool I had been, I wentured to say to him,—"And now, Sir, if you wants to see gentlemanly Marlow in quite another aspic, and one that estonishes and delites all as sees it, just take the 9:45 train from Paddington next Sunday, and, drectly you gets there, go at wunce to the Lock, and there, for ours and ours you will see sitch a sight of most ravishing bewty, combined with helegance and hart, as praps no other spot in all the hole world can show! Why, Sir," I said, "every time as the full Lock opens its yawning gates, at the command of one of the principel hofficers of the Tems Conserwancy, you will think of the Gates of Parrydice a hopening for a excurshun of hundreds of the most bewtifoollest Angels as ginerally lives there!" "Why, Mr. ROBERT," says the Amerrycain, "your henthusiasm xcites my curosity, and I'll suttenly go, and," he added, with almost a blushing smile, "I rayther thinks as I'll take a companion with me."

And off he went on the follering Sunday, and didn't git back till seven o'clock to dinner, and his fust words to me was,—"Mr. ROBERT, you didn't in the least xagerate the bewty of the scene as you sent me for to see—it was as strange and as lovely as a Faery Tail! I wasn't at all surprised to see what Swells there was among 'em, and what werry particklar attentions they paid to 'em, cos I reklek how My Lord RANGDULF CHURCHILL slected that particklar spot, on henny particklar fine Sunday, to seek that werry welcome and much wanted change from his sewere Parlementary dooties, as he used wen he were ere among us to rekquire, for I guess as there ain't sitch a sight to be seen not nowheres else so well calklated to brighten a pore feller up who's jest about done up with reel hard work." I didn't quite understand what made my Amerrycain smile quite so slily as he finished his rayther long speech, but he most certenly did, and then set to work at his dinner.

He arterwards told me as how as he means to pay a wisit, when the season begins, to our new Hotel at Monty Carlo, sumwheres in France, and try his new system at the Tables, and if he suckseeds, as he knows he shall, he will, praps, sum day tell me his secret, and then I shall have to ask my gentlemanly Manager here to let me have a few weeks there, and then I shan't want to do any more waiting! What a prospeck!

ROBERT.

COUNTRY-HOUSE PETS.

The Morning-Room at Glen-Dimity Castle, after Lunch. Mr. Belamy Tabby is singing "Hi tiddley hi ti, hi, ti, hi!"

The Duchess. "HOW CLEVER AND AMUSIN' YOUR FRIEND, MR. WHATSHISNAME IS!—TABBY, ISN'T IT? SO GOOD-LOOKIN' AND GENTLEMANLIKE TOO! QUITE A GODSEND ON A RAINY DAY LIKE THIS, WHEN ALL THE MEN ARE OUT SHOOTIN' OR FISHIN', OR SOMETHING! IS HE MARRIED?"

Noble Hostess. "OH YES; BUT WHAT'S SO NICE ABOUT HIM, HE DOESN'T MIND BEIN' ASKED WITHOUT HIS WIFE. THOSE SORT OF PERSONS SO OFTEN EXPECT THEIR WIVES TO BE ASKED TOO, AND THAT'S SUCH A BORE, YOU KNOW!"

Her Grace. "YES; HOW SENSIBLE OF HIM! I MUST GET HIM TO COME TO US AT BRASENOSE TOWERS!"

THE CANADIAN "SEARCH-LIGHT."

(A SONG OF SINCERE SYMPATHY.)

AIR—"The Slave in the Dismal Swamp."

Old Doggerel Re-dressed.

(After reading certain Criticisms on certain Novelists, certain Comments on those Criticisms, and certain Rejoinders to those Comments.)

LINES BY A LEWISHAM WITLER.

TIP BY A TORY.—The Star, talking of "HODGE's Political Salvation," says that Mr. GLADSTONE has given the Liberal country programme in a sentence. I will give it in a word. It is all "Hodge-podge!"

UNATTRACTIVE COMBINATION.—If a young woman is "fast," and uncommonly ugly, wouldn't she make a great mistake were she to combine the two qualities, and be "fast-'idious"?

NAME FOR A CERTAIN SECTION OF THE ILLUSTRATED PRESS.—The Nude Journalism.