قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, January 17, 1917
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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, January 17, 1917
thyself a deal too smart
To be ensnared in Cupid's toils—eh, what?
The ways of other maids, less intricate,
Filled thee with pity to the very core;
Kisses were unhygienic, out of date,
And man a most unutterable bore.
But now with young Lieutenant Smith, V.C.,
Thou roamest, gazing shyly in his face;
Nay, did I not surprise thee after tea
Defying Hygiene in a close embrace?
Shall I recall that old sartorial jest,
The mannish coat which never seemed to fit,
The bifurcated skirt and all the rest,
Not half so pretty as thy nursing kit?
All no! Thine happiness I will not vex,
For thou art Woman once again I find;
And Woman, though she cannot change her sex,
Has always had the right to change her mind.
The Primrose Path for Flappers.
"WANTED, Two experi. MAKERS-UP (Females); also a few Girls to learn; good wages paid."—Evening Paper.
Another Impending Apology.
From an obituary notice:—
"In civil life he was employed as an attendant on those inflicted with weak minds. He joined the regiment at —— Camp and was at once employed as Colonel ——'s servant."—Burma Paper.
"Mars is the name of a star so far off it would take a million years to walk there in an express train."
"A miracle is anything that someone does that can't be done."
"People who have always used tooth-brushes and who know the thing to do never use any but their own."
"The Pagans were a contented race until the Christians came among them."—Hawaii Educational Review.
If The Review can maintain this form the consciously comic journals of the American Empire will have to look to their laurels.
THE RECRUIT WHO TOOK TO IT KINDLY.
Super-Boy. "BUT, FATHER, IF WE HAVE ALREADY CONQUERED, WHY DOES THE WAR GO ON?"
Super-Man. "BE SILENT AND EAT YOUR HINDENBERG ROCK."
WAR'S SURPRISES.
THE TRANSFORMATION OF "TAY PAY."
[The Daily Chronicle alludes to a recent article by Mr. T.P. O'CONNOR, M.P., as "a frigid survey of the situation."]
The War has done many astonishing things;
It has doubled the traffic in trinkets and rings;
It has reconciled us to margarine
And made many fat men healthily lean.
It has answered the critics of Public Schools
And proved the redemption of family fools.
It has turned golf links to potato patches
And made us less lavish in using matches.
It has latterly paralysed the jaw
Of the hitherto insuppressible SHAW.
It has made old Tories acclaim LLOYD GEORGE,
Whose very name once stuck in their gorge.
It has turned a number of novelists
