PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

Vol. 152.

January 24th, 1917.

CHARIVARIA.

"They know nothing about the War in Greenland," said M. DANGAARD IENSEN to a contemporary, and now the Intelligence Department is wondering whether it didn't perhaps choose the wrong colour after all for its tabs.

The Governor of Greenland, giving evidence in the Prize Court last week, was greatly interested to learn that there was a well-known hymn, entitled "From Greenland's Icy Mountains." He was, however, inclined to think that the unfortunate reference to the rigorous nature of the climate would be resented by the local Publicity Committee, to whose notice he would feel it his duty to bring the matter when they were next thawed out.

Lord DEVONPORT has established his own Press Bureau, and it is rumoured that the Press Bureau is about to appoint its own Food Controller.

The American Line has advanced its First-Class fares by three pounds. It is hoped that this will effectually discourage Mr. HENRY FORD from visiting Europe for some time to come.

The Times Literary Supplement has received 335 books of original verse in 1916. And still the authorities pretend that juvenile crime is confined to the East End.

A telegram despatched from London on January 22nd, 1906, which contained a polling result of the General Election then in progress, has just been received by a Witham resident, who told the messenger there was no reply.

"If agriculture is to flourish," says The Daily Mail, "it must be so conducted as to pay." It is just this sordid commercialism that distorts the Carmelite point of view.

The German Union for the Development of the German Language have sent a petition to the CHANCELLOR, asking that in any future Peace negotiations the German language should be used. Will German frightfulness never cease?

"Anybody in the Carmarthen district," says the local medical officer, "can keep a pig in the parlour if they keep it clean." The necessity of keeping the parlour clean for the sake of its guest will be easily understood by those who appreciate the fastidious taste of the pig.

A Hungarian paper complains that the Government treats the War as if it were merely a family affair. This contrasts unfavourably with the more broadly hospitable attitude of the Allies, who have made it abundantly clear that so far as they are concerned anyone is welcome to join in and help their side.

The other day a Farnham bellringer, after cycling seventy miles, rang a peal of 5,940 changes. It is not known why.

"War diet," says Professor ROSIN in the Lokal Anzeiger, "improves the action of the heart." But what the Germans really want to know is, what improves a war diet?

Among the goods stolen from a Crouch Hill provision merchant's the other day were eight cheeses and ten hams. As the place was much littered it is thought that the cheeses put up a plucky fight.

It is pointed out by experienced agriculturists that it is useless to plant potatoes unless steps are taken to destroy the insect pests. A Peterborough farmer has written a poem in The Daily Express against those pests, but we fancy that if a permanent improvement is to be effected it will be necessary to adopt much sterner measures than this.

The recent vagaries of the Weather Controller are said to be due to one of the new railway regulations, by which you are required to "Show all seasons, please."

Even Nature seems upset by the War. According to The