قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, April 9, 1892
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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, April 9, 1892
in his pockets—evidently for a half-crown.) 'Ere, you look more intelligent than the rest—I'll try yer jest this once. Jest to show yer don't know me, and—(Shouts of "They're off! They're coming!" from the bank; the Purse-seller's audience suddenly melts away, leaving him alone with the Seedy Slinker.) 'Ere, JIM, we may as well turn it up. 'Ere come them blanky boats!
A Juvenile Plunger (with rather a complicated book on the event). If Oxford wins, I've got ter git a penny out of 'im, and if Kimebridge wins, you've got ter git a penny outer me!
Crowd (as the Crews flash by). Go it, Oxford! Ox—ford! No, Kimebridge! Well rowed, Kimebridge!... Oxford wins! No, it don't. I'll lay it don't! Splendid rycin'. Which on 'em was Oxford? The inside one. No, it worn't—they was outside. Well, Oxford was leadin', anyway!... There, that's all over till next year! Not much to come out for, either—on'y just see 'em for a second or so. Oh, I come out for the lark of it, I do.... There goes the pidgins orf.... We shan't be long knowin' now.... 'Ere's the Press Boat comin' back.... There, wot did I tell yer, now? Well, they didn't orter ha' won. that's all—the others was the best crew.... 'Ere they are, all together on the launch, d'ye see? Seem friendly enough, too, considerin', torkin' to each other and all. Lor, they wouldn't bear no malice now it's over!
[Crowd disperse, and patronise "Popsy Wopsy," the Roulette, Ole Billy Fairplay, &c., &c., with renewed zest.
Mrs. RAMSBOTHAM is staying with her niece in the country. She is much delighted with the rich colour of the spring bulbs, and says she at last understands the meaning of "as rich as Crocus."
WILLIAM THE WHALER, AND HIS GREAT LONE WHALING EXPEDITION.
MODERN IMPERIAL GERMAN VERSION. (BY BIZZY THE PILOT.)
["The arrangements for the German Emperor's Whale-hunting excursion have been made."—The Times.]
'Twas arter he'd got rid o' Me,
Brave boys.
When Will-I-AM he did sa-a-a-ail,
In a bit of a boat
Which would scarcely float,
And he went for to catch a Whale,
Brave boys!
All alone for to catch a Whale.
His Sire and his Grandsire trusted Me,
Brave boys!
Who was never known for to fa-a-a-il;
But he thought he knew
More than Cap'en and crew,
In the matter o' catching a Whale,
Brave boys!
In the matter o' catching a Whale.
He'd inwented a new harpoon,
Brave boys
As was shaped on a whoppingish sca-a-a-le
And he thought with delight,
(The "magnanimous" mite!)
He was going to catch that Whale,
Brave boys!
He made cocksure o' catching that Whale!
There were several Whales about,
Brave boys!
Here and there a twitching a ta-a-a-il;
And he thinks, thinks he,
"I will catch all three,
But pertikler that big black Whale,
Brave boys!
Most pertikler that big black Whale."
Enraptured with his bit of a boat,
Brave boys!
He set forth to sea in a g-a-a-a-le;
Which was altogether
The wrong sort o'weather
For a novice to capture a Whale,
Brave boys!
A mere nipper for to capture a Whale.
I gives him the best of adwice,
Brave boys!
For I knowed he was bound for to fa-a-a-il;
But he ups, and he offs,
And he snubs me, and he scoffs
At the notion of a-missing that Whale,
Brave boys!
The mere notion of not catching that Whale.
And he bobbles about on the waves,
Brave boys!
And his stout heart doth not qua-a-a-ail;
He's a foolish little chuck,
But he's got a lot o' pluck,
Still, he will not catch that Whale,
Brave boys!
He ain't going for to catch that Whale.
There was three whopping Whales in the offing,
Brave boys!
And them he did loudly h-a-a-ail;
But to such a voice as his'n
They worn't a-going to listen,
Especially that big black Whale,
Brave boys!
Most especially that big black Whale.
He crept up with his big harpoon,
Brave boys!
That monster to impa-a-a-ale,
And stubbornly he kep' on
A hurling of his weapon,
Till he managed to hit that Whale,
Brave boys!
He managed to prick that Whale.
Then he thought he'd done a mighty clever thing,
Brave boys!
But the Whale gave a fhwisk! with his ta-a-a-ail,
And then vanished from his view,
With the harpoon wot he threw,
And WILL-I-AM nearly followed that Whale,
Brave boys!
Wos werry near to following that Whale:
Then WILL-I-AM the Whaler looked dumfoozled,
Brave boys!
And I sings out—a being within ha-a-a-il—
"I told you, noble Cap'en,
Exactly wot would happen!"
So—he didn't catch that Whale,
Brave boys!
No—he never caught that Whale!
"NAMES AND THEIR MEANING."—À propos of some correspondence in the Morning Post under the above heading, we would ask, Why not make the Second Chief Commissioner for the Behring Straits Difficulty, Mr. SEALE HAYNE, M.P., with Lord SAY AND SELE to speak on the subject, and then sign the official documents?
MRS. R. has heard much lately about the "Sandringham Stud" and the "St. Andrews Links," both of which, she understands, are very large. She can't make out how gentlemen prefer them to nice, neat little shirt-buttons!
A BROTHER PASTELLIST.
[Messrs. GOUPIL admit Artists and Students free to Mr. WHISTLER'S Exhibition.]
Gatekeeper (stopping squalid Stranger). "NOW THEN, WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
S.S. "COME TO SEE JIMMY'S SHOW." Gatekeeper. "ONE SHILLING, PLEASE!"
S.S. "NOT ME! I'M A ARTIST—CORNER O' BAKER STREET—CHALKS. LE'MME THROUGH!" [Chucked!
"Signs" of the Times.
["He was brought up to speak in the ante-stumping era."—Lord Rosebery on Lord Granville."]
