building their books on.

How now, my spry veteran? Only a boy

On a three-legged crock? Well, I own you are older,

And watching your riding's a thing to enjoy;

There isn't a Jock who is defter and bolder;

Your power, authority, eloquence—yes,

For your gift of the gab is a caution—are splendid;

But—the youngster may teach you a lesson, I guess,

As to judgment of pace ere the contest is ended.

Grand Old Jockey (aloud). Well, ARTHUR my lad, in the saddle again!

Is that your crack mount?

Rising Young Jockey. The identical one, WILL.

Grand Old Jockey. Dear, dear, what a pity! It quite gives me pain

To see you so wasted.

Rising Young Jockey. That's only your fun, WILL.

Grand Old Jockey. Nay, nay, not at all! Don't think much of his points.

He's not bred like a true-blood, nor built like a winner.

Not well put together, so coarse in his joints,

In fact—only fit for a hunting-pack's dinner!

Rising Young Jockey (laughing). Oh! "Cat's-meat!" is your cry, is it, WILLIAM? Well, well!

We shall see about that when the winning-post's handy.

Grand Old Jockey. You won't, my brave boy; that a novice could tell.

You'll be left in the ruck at the end, my young dandy,

Rising Young Jockey. Perhaps! Still the pencillers haven't,—as yet—

Quite knocked the nag out with their furious fever

Of hot opposition. Some cool ones still bet

On his chance of a win.

Grand Old Jockey (contemptuously). Ah, you're wonderful clever.

But we have got one in our Stable, my lad,

Who can—just lick his head off!

Rising Young Jockey (drily). Now have you indeed, WILL?

I fancy I've heard that before. Very glad

That your lot are in luck; and I hope you'll succeed, WILL,

But bless me! yours seems such a very Dark Horse!

Oh! there, don't fire up so! Your word I won't doubt, WILL.

You say so, and one must believe you, of course;

But—isn't it time that you brought the nag out, WILL?

A VERY "DARK HORSE."

OLD JOCKEY. "DON'T THINK MUCH OF HIS POINTS! WE'VE ONE IN OUR STABLE CAN LICK HIS HEAD OFF!"

YOUNG JOCKEY. "HAVE YOU? THEN WHY DON'T YOU BRING HIM OUT?"

HISTORY AS SHE IS PLAYED!

NATURE V. ART.

Æsthetic Friend. "YES, THIS ROOM'S RATHER NICE, ALL BUT THE WINDOW, WITH THESE LARGE BLANK PANES OF PLATE-GLASS! I SHOULD LIKE TO SEE SOME SORT OF PATTERN ON THEM—LITTLE SQUARES OR LOZENGES OR ARABESQUES—"

Philistine. "WELL, BUT THOSE LOVELY CHERRY BLOSSOMS, AND THE LAKE, AND THE DISTANT MOUNTAIN, AND THE BEAUTIFUL SUNSETS, AND THE PURPLE CLOUDS—ISN'T THAT PATTERN ENOUGH?"

THE MORNING OF THE DERBY.—Hamlet considering whether he shall go to Epsom for the great race or not, soliloquises, "Der-be or not Der-be, that is the question." [N.B.—As to the other lines, go as you please. "The rest is silence."]

"MARRIED AND SINGLE" should be played by Lady-Cricketers. No single young person under seventeen should be permitted an innings, as any two sweet sixteens would be "not out," and there would be no chance for the other side. Match-makers are only interested in the Single.

LADY GAY'S SELECTIONS.

DEAR MR. PUNCH,—For the first time have I seen myself in print!—and I must say I think it very becoming—and so nice and cool too this hot weather! You are indeed a sweet creature for adopting my idea so readily—and I really must say that if these obstinate Members of Parliament who oppose Women's Suffrage would only alter their views, it would be much better for the Country—or worse—I don't know which!

Sir MINTING BLOUNDELL, whose criticism on my contribution to your well-written journal I invited, complimented me on my style, and suggested that when giving my selections it might be as well to refer to the "Home Trials" of the horses mentioned—but I venture to disagree with him! Goodness knows we all have home trials enough! (Lord ARTHUR and I frequently do not speak for a week unless someone is present)—but I do not think these things should be made public, and besides, it is an unwritten law amongst