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قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, June 11, 1892
تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, June 11, 1892
spirit!
Laertes (approaching). My good Lord, I wish thee well, for I do love thee.
Ghost (from below). Four! Remember—Four! Six, and no more! and mind the time goes apace. Ten minutes of the thirty gone!
Hamlet (aside). Peace, perturbed spirit! (Aloud.) The foils!
Osric (approaching). My Lord, the weapons!
Ghost (as before). He maketh five! Beware! Six, and no more!
Ham. (aside). Rest, perturbed spirit! (Aloud.) I will take this one!
[HAMLET and LAERTES take the foils and salute.
King. Now will I drink to HAMLET after the first bout. OSRIC, be ready to give him a cup when he is tired! Mind me well. (Aside.) The cup of which HAMLET shall drink contains poison. Ha! ha! ha! A time will come! I triumph!
[HAMLET and LAERTES fence and drop their foils.
Osric.—Let me return them, good Sirs!
[He gives the weapons in such a fashion that they are exchanged.
King. Now will I drink to HAMLET. Give him the other cup.
Ham. Nay, your pardon. Sire. I am fat and scant of breath, but I will crush a cup with thee, later!
Queen. Give me the cup. I will drink to thee, HAMLET! [Drinks.
Ghost (as before). I hear the well-remembered voice of thy mother, boy! That makes six. The limit's reached!
Ham. (aside). Rest, perturbed spirit! (Aloud.) And now, good LAERTES, I am at thy service.
[They fight. HAMLET is wounded.
Osric. A hit, a hit, a palpable hit!
Ham. (annoyed). I am hurt, and by thee!
[Fights fiercely and wounds LAERTES.
Queen. Oh! I am poisoned! [Dies.
Ham. What, treachery! Ah, thou brute!
[Rushes up and kills King with his foil.
Laertes. I am dying! Forgive me, HAMLET. It was the doing of the King. [Dies.
Ghost (as before). Twenty and nine minutes have expired! The time is all but up!
Ham. (aside, with difficulty). Rest, perturbed spirit! Farewell, farewell, a long farewell to all my—
Ghost (as before). Ring down! The time is up!
A GENTLE EGOTIST.
The Brilliant Jones (who likes an appreciative audience—to his Hostess). "OH, THERE!—IT'S NO USE—I GIVE IT UP! CONVERSATION'S IMPOSSIBLE, WHEN PEOPLE WILL TALK!"
"INNINGS DECLARED CLOSED."
SCENE—Grounds of the St. Stephen's C.C. SALISBURY (Captain) and BALFOUR (Champion Bat) at Wickets. The latter has just despatched the ball to the boundary for "another four," eliciting "applause all round the ring," as the (Cricket) saying is.
Captain. Well hit, my dear ARTHUR!
Champion Bat (modestly). Ah! bit of a fluke.
Captain. Come, come! Cricket swagger may merit rebuke,
But take your fair kudos; don't run yourself down.
Wicket-Keeper (aside). Bah! that's his old trick. At the ball he will frown,
And fumble the bat as though funk, or don't care,
Filled his soul; but when slogging's the game he's all there.
Mere posing, not playing the game,—yet he scores!
I wonder how WILL likes the ring's frantic roars
At their flashy young favourite?
Bowler (aside). Humph! he lays on!
I did hope, with that ball, that his wicket was gone.
'Twas a curly one, one of my regular old sort.
Good batting and bowling, that's true Cricket sport,
As CLARKE, Grand Old Trundler, declared was the case
When he bowled and PILCH batted.
Champion Bat (aside). Just twig HARCOURT's face!
Thought he'd had me ere now. Can't you hear his "How's that?"—
If I gave him a chance?
Captain. He's a fine slogging bat,
But behind the sticks—humph! Well, let's see, lad, your score
Wants but eight of the "century." Ninety-two more
Towards your "average," ARTHUR! The Cricketer's Bard
Will be rhyming your doings!
Champion Bat. An awful "reward"!
But shall we play on?
Captain (thoughtfully). Well, now, what do you think?
From fighting it out to the end I don't shrink,
But time's running short; we stand well for a win:
They say that their eager desire's to go in.
Perhaps if they got their desire they'd be posed.
Suppose we declare that our innings is closed?
[Left considering it.
"PROBABLE STARTERS."
The Gentleman who sits on a pin with its business-end uppermost.
The Follower "not Allowed," on Missus making a quite unexpected appearance in the Kitchen.
Clerk, who having written to say that he is unable to attend to business as he is laid up with symptoms of influenza, comes face to face with the Senior Partner on the river at Bolton Lock.
LOTHARIO on his knees to his dearest friend's Wife. Enter Husband.
"TEXTUEL."—Mr. TOOLE was horrified at overhearing portions of a conversation between two Gentlemen who were evidently provincial Managers, one of whom was saying, "Yes, I agree with you. We have settled to re-open our pits at a reduction of ten per cent." "I beg pardon, Gentlemen," anxiously put in the Comedian, who had just returned from the race-course, having been tooled down to Epsom and back on a drag; "but I am going on tour, and if the price of admission to the pit is to be so largely reduced—" Then they explained to him that they were Wenham Coal-owners. Mr. J.L. TOOLE was immensely relieved, and immediately invited his two acquaintances to partake of refreshment on board the Houseboat now moored off King William Street, Charing Cross.
"TE DUCE," &c.—Old Pupils who were at "Balston's," are requested by Lord DUCIE to hurry up with their subscriptions to Memorial in Eton College Chapel. A Ducie'd good idea.
CLEAR CASE OF SUPERSTITION.—Mr. GLADSTONE trusting to "SHIPTON's" Prophecies.
"INNINGS CLOSED."
RIGHT HON. ARTHUR B. "DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TIME TO DECLARE THIS INNINGS CLOSED?"
THE CONFESSIONS OF A DUFFER.
No. XI.—THE DUFFER IN LOVE.
Mrs. McDUFFER never greatly admired the lady with whom this confession is