or three copies for 5/- and four (with 1 lb. of sugar) for 6/-

GENERAL LITERATURE.

WAS MILTON A MORMON?

BY FLAMMA BELL.

A book for polygamists of all ages.

1/- net, or 1/9 with 1 lb. of margarine.

LIFE WITHOUT SOAP.

BY DR. BLACKWELL GRIMES.

How to be happy though unwashed. National thrift in a nutshell.

With portrait of the Author in black-and-white.
1/- net.

INTIMATE INTERIORS SERIES.

IN A PANTRY AT POTSDAM

(With Preface by the Man who ate Sauerkraut with HINDENBURG).

IN TINO'S BOOTROOM.

IN A SCULLERY AT SOFIA.

IN A SERVANTS' HALL AT BUDA-PESTH.

Neutral Waiter. "I SHALL NEVAIR ONDERSTAND ZIS LANGUAGE. ZAT OFFICER—I SAY TO HIM, 'GOOT MORNING, 'OW ARE YOU?' 'E SAY, 'DAM 'ONGRY AND FED OP'!"

SIGNS OF THE TIMES.

[The management of The Times, of which the price was raised on Monday to twopence, is anxious, in view of the paper famine, to restore the old custom by which this journal was subscribed for jointly or loaned, whether gratuitously or by newsagents at one penny a perusal. Having "determined to restrict the sale and encourage the circulation of each copy in several houses daily, the managers will not hesitate, as a last resort, to increase the selling price to sevenpence per copy."]

From "The Evening Uproar."

BATTLE IN THE WEST-END.

Piccadilly Circus was the scene of an appalling fracas this afternoon. Shortly after two o'clock a quietly-dressed middle-aged man, at present unidentified, was observed stealing cautiously from the Tube station with a thick wad of Treasury notes in one hand and a copy of "The Times" in the other! The sight of this latter seems to have sent several passers-by completely mad. The wretched stranger was instantly set upon, his journal torn from his hand and his limbs very severely mauled. The Treasury notes, unremarked in the fearful mélée, fell into the mud and were devoured by a passing Pekinese. Those now in possession of the priceless document were in turn set upon by others, until all Piccadilly Circus became a battlefield. The deplorable behaviour of motor-bus and taxicab drivers added greatly to the carnage, for these men, rendered frantic by the thought of the loot within their reach, repeatedly drove their vehicles into the seething mass of humanity in their efforts to acquire this unthinkable treasure. No official estimate of the casualties is yet to hand.

Stop Press.—Reason to believe unknown archdeacon got away West with part of sheet of "Finance and Commerce." Police, specials, military and fire-brigade now in pursuit.

From the Press generally.

AMAZING GIFT TO CHARITY.

At Gristie's to-day there will be put up for auction an unread and unsoiled copy of yesterday's Times. The donor of this superb gift desires to remain anonymous, but his incredible generosity is expected to benefit charity to the extent of several thousand pounds.

From "The New Britain."

SOMETHING LIKE PATRIOTISM.

A sterling example of patriotism has just come to the notice of the Rag and Bones Controller. A copy of The Times (including the Uruguay Supplement of 94 pages), issued four months ago, was purchased, under permit of the R. and B. Controller, by Baron Goldenschein, who read it from the top of col. 1, page 1, to the foot of col. 6, page 108. The entire household then read from col. 1, page 1, to col. 6, page 108. Baron Goldenschein tells us that his cook with difficulty could be persuaded to tear herself away from the Uruguay Supplement. All the tenants on the estate—some eighty souls—then enjoyed the paper, each tenant in turn posting it to relatives in various parts of the United Kingdom. At the end of three months it is estimated that over one thousand persons had read this copy of The Times. The Baron also informs us that each post brings him a fragment of the paper from remote parts of the country. When sufficient fragments have been collected and pasted together the whole will be despatched to those residents in the Isle of Man who have never heard of The Times.

From "The Wiggleswick Weekly":—

IMPORTANT NOTICE.

From Monday next the price of The Wiggleswick Weekly (with which is incorporated The Bindleton Advertiser and The Swashborough Gazette) will be 17s. 6d. per copy. If this—the forty-seventh—increase in price does not bring about the desired reduction in circulation we shall unhesitatingly advance the price to £1 9s. 5¾d. per copy. The management of The Wiggleswick Weekly is determined, at no matter what sacrifice, to limit the circulation to forty copies weekly.

From an ecclesiastical magazine:—

"The Vicar of —— has promised to address our branch of the C.E.M.S. as soon as he can arrange a fine and moonlight evening."

We should be greatly obliged if the reverend gentleman would let us have the prescription. There should be money in it.

Doctor's Wife. "SO GLAD TO SEE YOU OUT AGAIN. THE DOCTOR AND I HAD NO IDEA YOU'D BEEN SO ILL TILL WE CAME TO MAKE UP THE BOOKS."

SOME MORE BAD WORDS.