too! tare and ounds its mighty shocking!

He shoved ach of his big legs into a span bran new silk stocking:

How the divil them calves by any manes was thrust in,

Is a mistery to ev’ry one, without them black silks busting.

And instead of a dacent trousers hanging to his suspenders,

He has button’d-up one-half of him in a pair of short knee-enders.

Now, Punch, on your oath, did you ever hear the likes o’ that?

But oh, houly Paul, if you only seen his big cock’d hat,

Stuck up on the top of his jazy;—a mighty illegant thatch,

With hair like young Deaf Burke’s, all rushing up to the scratch,

You must have been divarted; and, Jewil, then he wore

A thund’ring big Taglioni-cut purple velvet roquelore.

And who but Misther Dan cut it fat in all his pride,

Cover’d over with white favors, like a gentle blushing bride;

And wasn’t he follow’d by all the blackguards for his tail,

Shouting out for their lives, ‘Success to Dan O’Connell and Rapale.’

But the Old Corporation has behaved mighty low and mane,

As they wouldn’t lend him the loan of the ancient raal goold chain,

Nor the collar; as they said they thought (divil burn ’em),

If they’d done so, it was probable Dan never would return ’em.

But, good-bye, I must be off,—he’s gone to take the chair!

So my love to Mrs. Punch, and no more about the Mayor.”

PUNCH’S PÆAN TO THE PRINCELET.

A CON-CONSTITUTIONAL.

Why is the little Prince of Wales like the 11th Hussars?—Because it is Prince Albert’s own.

HARD TO REMEMBER.

Lord Monteagle, on being shown one of the Exchequer Bills, supposed to have been forged, declared that he did not know if the signature attached to it was his handwriting or not. We do not feel surprised at this—his Lordship has put his hand to so many jobs that it would be impossible he could remember every one of them.

THE CROPS.

A most unfounded report of the approaching demise of Colonel Sibthorp reached town early last week. Our Leicester correspondent has, however, furnished us with the following correct particulars, which will be read with pleasure by those interested in the luxuriant state of the gallant orator’s crops. The truth is, he was seen to enter a hair-dresser’s shop, and it got about amongst the breathless crowd which soon collected, that the imposing toupée, the enchanting whiskers that are the pride of the county, were to be cropped! This mistake was unhappily removed to give place to a more fatal one; for instead of submitting to the shears, the venerable joker bought a paper of poudre unique, from which arose the appalling report that he was about to dye!

Our kind friend the indefatigable “correspondent” of the Observer, informs us from authority upon which every reliance may be placed, that Mr. Grant, the indefatigable statist and author of “Lights and Shadows of London Life,” is now patiently engaged in researches of overwhelming importance to the public. He will, in his next edition of the above-named work, be enabled to state from personal inquiry, how many ladies residing within a circuit of ten miles round London wear false fronts, with the colours respectively of their real and their artificial hair, together with the number of times per year the latter are dressed. Besides this, this untiring author has called at every hairdresser’s in the London Directory, to ascertain the number of times per quarter each customer has his hair cut, with the quantity and length denuded. From these materials a result will be drawn up, showing the average duration of crops; and also how far the hair-cuttings of every day in London would reach, if each hair were joined together and placed somewhere, so as to go—when enough is collected—round the world.

The Morning Herald of Monday informs us, that the King of Hanover has passed a law to regulate the crops not only of the army, but of those in the civil employ of government. The moustaches of the former are to be, we hear, exact copies of those sported by Muntz. The hair is to be cut close, so as to be woven into regulation whiskers for those to whom nature has denied them. The pattern whisker was lately submitted by Mr. Truefit, who is to be the army contractor for the same. It curls over the cheek, and meets the moustaches at the corners of the mouth.

In consequence of this measure, large sales in bear’s grease were made by the Russian merchants on ‘Change yesterday for the German markets. A consequent rise in this species of manure took place; this will, it is feared, have a bad effect upon the British crops, which