I—the only course for me—

Go absolutely crumbless.

DIPLOMATIC NOTES.

The Latin-American situation remains obscure. According to advices from Archangel, Paraguay intends to act, though curiously enough a strange cloud of silence hangs over recent (and coming) events in Ecuador. Bolivia has decided to construct a fleet, despite the fact that the absence of a seaboard is being made a reason for sinister opposition in pro-German circles. Patagonia has mobilised both her soldiers, but her gun is still under repair.

Panagua has declared war on Germany. It is hard to over-estimate the value of this new adhesion to the Allied cause. The standing army is well over six hundred strong, and there is a small but modern fleet, consisting of two revenue cutters, one super skiff, eight canoes (mounted with two pairs of six-inch oars) and one raft (Benamuckee class). The President, in a moving address to the Panaguan Senate, declared, "The world is watching Panagua; it does not watch in vain." Señora Hysterica, the first woman senator, cast the only vote against war. "I cannot," she sobbed.

Things are moving in Mexico. General CARRANZA has summoned a mass-meeting of ex-Presidents to consider the situation, and a counter-demonstration by the Brigands' Trade Union Congress is feared. Even as far north as Greenland the repercussion may be felt. Here, owing to the new régime of blubber-cards, Eskimo opinion is in a very nervous state. Indeed, according to an inspired semi-official utterance by Prince Bowo, the Siamese Deputy Vice-Consul at Fez, it is not too much to say that almost anything may, or may not, happen in this Arctic quarter.

The outlook in Palestine is dark. Strict-silence is enforced in all public places, and even whispering is forbidden at street corners. More than two-thirds of the population are spies. Relatives are only allowed to speak to each other if granted a special licence or talking-ticket by the Sheikh-ul-Islam, though there is a special dispensation for mothers-in-law. The reported mobilization of eighty goats on Mount Tabor shows pretty clearly which way the wind is blowing; whilst it is persistently rumoured in Joppa that five camels were seen passing through Jerusalem yesterday. Suspicious dredging operations in the Dead Sea are also reported by a Berne correspondent. The future is big with presage.

All eyes are fixed on the two great African Powers which still stand aside from the maelström of war. The position in Ethiopia is, to say the least of it, tendentious, and at any moment the natives may change their skin. The coronation of the new Empress of Abyssinia is being followed as usual by the great Feast of the Blue Umbrella, at which an important pronouncement is, I learn, to be made. I hear, moreover (from a private source in Trondhjem, viâ Mecca and Amsterdam), that Wady-ul-Dzjinn, the new Premier, and a staunch pro-Ally, is expected to speak with no uncertain voice. Unfortunately serious liquorice riots have broken out in the capital, and these are being cunningly used by German agents to turn popular discontent against the Allies. Fräulein von Schlimm, a niece by marriage of the acting Montenegrin Envoy, is accused of purposely hoarding five hundred sticks of "Spanish" so as to aggravate the crisis. The usually reliable correspondent of The Salt Lake City Morning Pioneer telegraphs (viâ Tomsk) that she only escaped lynching by distributing her treasure to the mob.

In a similar way economic issues are determining the attitude of Thibet. Prices in Lhassa are rising fabulously. The new Food Controller is endeavouring to grapple with the situation, and the yak ration has again been reduced. It behoves British diplomacy to see that the ensuing discontent is not turned into Germanophil currents. Where is our Foreign Office? What is being done? We are in the third year of the War and yet, while the German Minister is distributing free arrowroot to the populace, Whitehall slumbers on. It may be nothing to our mandarins that a full platoon was added to the Thibetan field-strength only last week, and that the Government dinghy is already watertight.

Later. Paraguay's attitude is now defined as one of Stark Neutrality. Patagonia has increased her army by fifty per cent. The new recruit promises to make an excellent fighting unit.

IN A GOOD CAUSE.

Mr. Punch begs to call attention to a Great Lottery of Paintings, Drawings, Sculptures, etc., by many of the chief British artists of the day and of earlier schools, which is being organised, by licence of the Board of Trade, in aid of the St. Dunstan's Hostels for Blinded Soldiers and Sailors. These works of art (including many by Mr. Punch's artists) will be exhibited at the Bazaar which is being held this week at the Royal Albert Hall in aid of the same splendid cause. After May 10th they may be seen at the Chenil Galleries. Tickets for the Lottery (5s.) are to be obtained from Mr. Kineton Parkes, The Chenil Galleries, 183A, King's Road, Chelsea, S.W. The drawing of the Lottery Prizes will take place on July 10th at St. Dunstan's Hostel, Regent's Park.

Mr. Punch also commends to his kind readers the claims of "Lamp Day," which is to be celebrated in London on Friday, May 11th, and in the suburbs on May 12th, the birthday of FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE. The proceeds are to be divided between the Women's Service Bureau, which registers and trains women for national employment, and the Scottish Women's Hospitals, whose London units are doing gallant work with the Serbian division of the Russian Army in Roumania. Each of these is a cause that would have appealed to the heart of the "Lady of the Lamp," devoted pioneer of Women's Service both at home and in the field. Those who live outside the Metropolitan area are begged to send a little money to the Hon. Treasurer of Lamp Day, Lady COWDRAY, 16, Carlton House Terrace, S.W. Cheques and Postal Orders to be crossed "London County and Westminster Bank, Victoria Branch."

DONNERWETTER.

HINDENBURG: "WHICHEVER COMES OUT, IT'S ROTTEN WEATHER FOR ME!"

Lidy (referring to Court Rival). "I WON'T 'ARF GIVE 'ER SOMEFINK WHEN I SEE 'ER—LEARNIN' 'ER BLOOMIN' KIDS TO SWANK PAST MY DOOR SUCKIN' SUGAR—LIKE BLINKIN' PLUTERCRATS."

TOLD TO THE MARINES.