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قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, May 16, 1917
تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, May 16, 1917
too many.
The Lokalanzeiger publishes an appeal for a new German National Anthem. We understand that the best composition that has been sent in up to the time of going to press begins as follows:—
Who is William? What is he
That all our swine adore him?
ROYAL ACADEMY DEPRESSIONS.
The Plough Girl. "Now then, Mabel, not so much posing or you'll have the horses bumping into that rainbow."
Old Lady (regarding the mannequin)."I don't think that dress would really suit me. Chin-chin doesn't seem to care about it either."
The unhappy diner who has been refused a second helping.
Mr. Martin Harvey.—"It is a far, far better Hamlet than anyone has ever done."
The mutual admiration of the Breton and the Bishop.
The Terrier. "Excuse me, Guv'nor, but when you've finished reading the despatches you might look and see if they're going to do anything about us."
The Angel and the Veteran (to conscientious objector)."Young man, what did you do in the great war?"
THE JOLLY BARGEMAN.
I've put the old mare's tail in plaits, now ain't she lookin' gay?
With ribbons in 'er mane as well—you'd think it First o' May;
For why? we're under Government, though it ain't just plain to me
If we're in the Civil Service or the Admiralitee.
An' it's "Gee-hup, Mabel," oh, we'll do the best we're able,
For we're servin' of our country an' we're 'elpin' 'er to win;
An' when the War is over then we'll all lie down in clover,
With a drink all together at the "Navigation Inn"!
I brought the news to Missis, an' to 'er these words did say,
"Just chuck yon old broom-'andle an' a two-three nails this way,
We're bound to 'ave a flagstaff for our old red-white-and-blue,
For since we're under Government we'll 'ave our ensign too."
The Navy is the Navy, an' it sails upon the sea;
The Army is the Army, an' on land it 'as to be;
There's the land an' there's the water, 'an the Cut comes in between,
And I don't know what you'd call me if it ain't an 'Orse Marine.
The Missis sits upon the barge the same's she used to sit,
But they'll 'ave 'er in the papers now for doin' of her bit;
An' I walk upon the tow-path 'ere as proud as anything—
If I 'aven't got no uniform I'm serving of the King.
An' it's "Gee-hup, Mabel," an' we'll do the best we're able,
For the country's been an' called us, an' we've got to 'elp to win;
An' when the War is over, oh, we'll all lie down in clover,
With a drink all together at the "Navigation Inn."
OUR MIXED ARMY.
First Recruit. "'Ere—tell old bald-'ead to bung the salt over."
Second Recruit. "Er—might i trouble you for the salt, sir?"
THE OPEN DOOR.
Mr. Punch has thought that some of his hospitable readers might be glad to have the opportunity of giving the welcome of their houses, in however simple a way, to Australian soldiers on leave, who would greatly appreciate the chance of seeing something of English home life. An "Invitation Bureau" has been opened at the "Anzac" Buffet, 94, Victoria Street, where offers of entertainment should be addressed.
"The Military Representative appealed against the exemption of William Blake, aged 35, unmarried, a slaughterman in the employment of Mr. George Rigg, pork butcher. The Military Representative suggested that Mr. Rigg should slaughter himself. Mr. Rigg stated that he could not slaughter himself."—Carlisle Journal.
Compare The Mikado:—
Koko. "Besides, I don't see how a man could cut off his own head."
Pooh-Bah. "A man might try."
HIS LATEST.
The Kaiser. "THIS IS SORRY WORK FOR A HOHENZOLLERN; STILL, NECESSITY KNOWS NO TRADITIONS."
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
Monday, May 7th.—The Royal House has found an unexpected defender in Mr. Outhwaite. He alone has perceived the hidden danger underlying the recent proposal of the Lower House of Convocation to restore King Charles I. to his old place in the Church Calendar. This, he considers, is a direct encouragement to the persons who seek the restoration of the Stuart dynasty, and would make Prince Rupprecht of Bavaria heir-apparent to the British Throne. The House was relieved to hear from Mr. Brace that there was no immediate danger of this contingency. Indeed, Prince Rupprecht has had so much trouble already with his