PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

The Married Sister. But SYLVIA, why have you dragged me out here to sit in the dark? I thought you were engaged for this?

Miss Daintree. So I am—to such a horrid little man. That's why I fled. He won't think of coming here after me!

The M.S. What made you give him a dance at all?

Miss D. JACK brought him up to me—so naturally I thought he was a dear friend of his, but it seems he only sat next to him at table d'hôte, and JACK says he pestered him so for an introduction, he had to do it—to get rid of him. So like a brother, wasn't it?... Oh, AMY, he's coming—what shall I do? I know he can't dance a little bit! I watched him trying.

The M.S. Can't you ask him to sit it out?

Miss D. That's worse! Let's hope he won't notice us.—Ah—he has!

Mr. Cubson. Our dance, I believe? (The Orchestra strikes up.) Isn't that the Pas de Quatre? To tell you the truth, I'm not very well up in these new steps, so I shall trust to you to pull me through—soon get into it, y'know.

Miss D. (to herself). If I could only get out of it! (She rises with a look of mute appeal to her Sister.) We can go through this room. (They pass into the Salle des Petits Chevaux.) Stop one minute—I just want to see which horse wins. Don't you call this a fascinating game?

Mr. C. Well, I don't understand the way they play it here—too complicated far me, you know!

Miss D. (to herself). Anything to gain time! (Aloud.) Oh, it's quite simple—you just put your money down on any number you choose, and say "Sur le"—whatever it is, and, if it wins, you get seven times your stake.

Croupier. Tous sont payés—faites vos jeux, Messieurs,—les jeux sont partis!

Miss D. I know what I should do—I should back 7 this time. I've a presentiment he'll win.

Mr. C. Then why don't you back him?

Miss D. Because I don't happen to have brought any money with me.

Mr. C. Oh, I daresay I can accommodate you with a franc or two, if that's all.

Miss D. Thank you, I won't trouble you: but do back him yourself, just to see if I'm not right.

Croupier. Les jeux sont faits. Rien ne va plus!

Mr. C. (throwing a franc on the table). Sur le sept! (To Miss D.) I say, he's raked it in. What's that for?

Miss D. For the Bank, or Charity, or something—they always do that if you stake too late.

Mr. C. Swindle, I call it. And I should have won, too—it is 7. I've had enough of this—suppose we go and dance?

Miss D. Why, you're not going to give in already—after so nearly winning, too?

Mr. C. Ah, well, I'll have just one more go—and then we'll be off. I'm going to try the 9 this time. [He stakes.

Miss D. I should have gone on the 4—it's time one of the even numbers won again.

Mr. C. Oh, would you? All right, then. (To Cr.) Pas sur le neuf—le quatre. (The Croupier transfers the franc to 4.) They're off—can't tell the winner yet. Now they're slower—4's good—4's very good. See where he's stopped, not an inch from the post! This isn't half a bad game.

Croupier. Neuf, impair, et rouge!

Mr. C. It's 9 after all—and I backed him first. (In an injured tone.) I should have won if you hadn't said that about 4!

Miss D. (with secret delight). I won't advise any more. What are you going to back?

Mr. C. We really ought to be dancing—but I'll try my luck once more on No. 4. I shall put on two francs this time.

Miss D. Shall you? How reckless! I heard someone say just now that No. 1 hasn't won for a long time.

Mr. C. I took your advice once too often. There—4's going to win—see how he's going round—no, he's passed.

Croupier. L'As, impair, et jaune!

Miss D. Didn't I tell you so?

Mr. C. You only said I hadn't won—not that he would. If you had spoken more plainly—! I don't think much of this game—I've dropped four francs already. How about that dance?

Miss D. (ironically). It would be rather a pity to go away without getting all that money back, wouldn't it?

Mr. C. (seriously). Perhaps it would. You're sure you're in no hurry about this dance?

Miss D. On the contrary!

Mr. C. Well, look here, I'm going to put on a five-franc piece this time—so be careful what you advise.

Miss D. Oh, I really couldn't undertake such a responsibility.

Mr. C. I shall follow this man then, and back five. (He does; the horses spin round, and the race is won by a horse with a tricoloured flag labelled No. 5.) There, I've done it without you, you see. (The Croupier pushes a heap of ivory counters towards him, which he takes up with trembling hands.) I say, I scooped in thirty-five francs over that! Not bad, is it? I'm glad I waited!

Miss D. Yes, it's better fun than dancing, isn't it?

Mr. C. Oh, lots—at least I didn't mean that quite—

Miss D. Didn't you? I did. What are you going to back next?

Mr. C. Well, I must just have one more turn, and then we'll go and get that dance over. I'm going to plunge this time. (He spreads his counters about the board.) There, I've put five francs on each colour and ten each on 8 and 9. You see, by hedging like that, you're bound to pull off something!

Miss D. (as the horses spin round). All the yellow flags are out of it.

Mr. C. Doesn't matter, 9's red, and he's going first-rate—nothing to beat him!

Miss D. Unless it's 5, and then you lose. (No. 5 wins again.) How unfortunate for you. 5 generally does win twice running, somehow.

Mr. C. (with reproach). If you had thought of that a little sooner, I shouldn't have lost twenty francs! (A player rises, and Mr. C. secures the