feel.

"Mrs. A. Thomson writes a vigorous protest against the carelessness with which the W.F.L. resolution urging the Prime Minister to make Woman Suffrage an integral part of the Bill, was acknowledged on his behalf. The acknowledgment was as follows:—

'I am directed by the Prime Minister to acknowledge the receipt of the resolution which you have forwarded on the subject of the formation of a Maternity Department in the new Ministry of Health.'"—The Vote.

But was it carelessness, or humour?

HEART-TO-HEART TALKS.

(Herr Schultze and Herr Müller, privates in a Prussian regiment of Infantry.)

Schultze. Leave will soon be over now and we shall have to go back to the fighting.

Müller. Yes; it is not a very cheerful prospect.

Schultze. No; that is a very true saying. And, what is more, there seems no possible end to this War, though (dropping his voice and looking round) we all hate it from the bottom of our hearts.

Müller. Yes, we all hate it. Indeed the hatred between me and the War gets worse and worse every day. I don't care who hears me.

Schultze. Don't be too bold; one never knows who may be listening.

Müller. It is to become mad. Why did we ever let the All-Highest Majesty begin such a war? We were all so comfortable, and then suddenly the Austrian Archduke gets himself murdered and, piff-paff, we Germans must go to war against Russia and France and England. I am very sorry for the Archduke, but there were other Archdukes to supply his place, and even if there had not been I do not think he himself was worth the four millions of killed, wounded and prisoners whom we have lost since the guns began to go off.

Schultze. It is terrible to think of. And the sausages get worse and worse, and the beer costs more and more and is not like beer at all.

Müller. And the English have good guns and plenty of them, and know colossally well how to use them; and they have millions of men—more than we have; and their soldiers are brave—almost as brave as our own soldiers. They have certainly won some victories, it seems.

Schultze. So it seems; but our Generals have not told us much about it.

Müller. And we all thought they had only a contemptible little army.

Schultze. Yes, that was what the All-Highest said.

Müller. The All-Highest has also said several times that our soldiers would be back in their homes before the leaves fell from the trees, and here are you and I doomed to go away from our homes in the third year of the war. It would be better, I think, if the All-Highest did not always speak so much and tried honestly to bring us a good solid peace.

Schultze (with a deep sigh). Peace? I do not think we shall ever have peace again. And the winning of victories seems to push it always further away from us. At that rate what is the use of victories?

Müller. Then you don't believe that the U-boats can starve England into surrender?

Schultze. Certainly I don't. Do you know anyone that does believe in that fairy story? All that the U-boats have really effected up to the present has been to bring in America on the side of our enemies.

Müller. That doesn't matter. The Americans have no army.

Schultze. Wasn't that what we said about the English? You yourself said it as loudly as anyone else at the beginning.

Müller. The fact is this War has gone on too long. A war for six weeks, that one can endure; but when it goes on for years—

Schultze. Yes, that is not so pleasant, though the Kaiser is always talking about hacking through and having an iron fist and being a wall of steel and other things of that sort.

Müller. Oh, he! I'm tired to death of his speeches and his prancing about. Again I say I don't care who hears me. We have done enough for glory; isn't there something we can do for peace?

Schultze. No, nothing—and you know it. It is more likely we shall end in prison if we talk like this.

"I warn you, Sir! The discourtesy of this bank is beyond all limits. One word more and I—I withdraw my overdraft."

"NAVAL APPOINTMENTS.

Royal Naval Reserve.

Mr. J.R. Macdonald entered as Skipper (temp.)"—The Times.

If this is how the Government hopes to get the Member for Leicester to Petrograd there is still the difficulty of enlisting a crew (temp.)

"Successful raids were carried out by us during the night east of Lagnicourt (two or three metres south of Bullecourt)."—Evening Times and Echo.

For the sake of precision we could have wished that the measurement had been worked out to inches.

"Thousands on foot and in every kind of vehicle visited the grisly relic. A Sunday school teacher marched the girls of her class to the place. Some 80ft. of her nose-end is stuck aslant in the air."—Daily Mail.

Not every woman is so well-equipped for showing contempt of the enemy.

"Wanted, Coachman-Chauffeur, 'Over-land' Car (Protestant), over military age."—Londonderry Sentinel.

Whatever its religion a car of this age must be almost past praying for.

"The sort of women who literally make ducks and drakes of their duty as the family administrator."—Spectator.

Having regard to the high price of poultry might not the new Food-Controller get these women to explain how they do it?

The Buffer's Vindication.

Old Soldier (trying to "swing the lead"). "Well, Sir, I can't neither eat, sleep nor drink, Sir."

M.O. (in a spasm of enthusiasm). "My good man! The Army wants a battalion like you!"

THE WATCH DOGS.

LXII.

My dear Charles,—I've become so artful these days in disguising identities under assumed names that I'm hanged if I can remember myself which of my people is which. Still I daresay your own memory isn't too good, so we'll call him Ross this time, and trust to luck that that is what we called him last time. He is that one of my friends and fellow sinners who was plugging along nicely at the Bar in 1914, and was just about to take silk, when he changed his mind, came to France and got mixed up in what he calls "this vulgar brawl on the Continent." After nearly three years of systematic warfare in the second line he has at last