love stories! [He runs out.]

BERGAMIN. [Pursuing him] Ah, let me catch you—!

SYLVETTE. I can really understand now why Papa hates that odious old man!

[Enter PASQUINOT, left.]

PASQUINOT. Well, Mademoiselle, what are you doing here?

SYLVETTE. Nothing. Taking the air.

PASQUINOT. Alone? But, you silly girl, are you not afraid?

SYLVETTE. Not in the least.

PASQUINOT. Near this wall? I forbade you to come near it! You see that park over there? That belongs to my mortal enemy!

SYLVETTE. I know it, Father dear.

PASQUINOT. Why, here you are exposed to any insult, any—if those rascals knew that my daughter were walking alone in this park— Brr! It makes me shiver to think of! I'm going to have the wall repaired, and erect a huge iron grill on top of it.

SYLVETTE. [Aside] He'll never do it—it would cost too much!

PASQUINOT. Now go into the house—quick! [She goes out, PASQUINOT glowering at her.]

BERGAMIN. [Heard from the other side of the wall, as he enters]
Take this note at once to Monsieur Straforel.

PASQUINOT. [Running to the wall and climbing to the top of it]
Bergamin!

BERGAMIN. [Doing likewise] Pasquinot! [They embrace.]

PASQUINOT. How are you?

BERGAMIN. Pretty well.

PASQUINOT. How's your gout?

BERGAMIN. Better. And how is your cold?

PASQUINOT. Still troubles me, devil take it!

BERGAMIN. Well, the marriage is arranged!

PASQUINOT. What?

BERGAMIN. I heard everything—I was hidden in the bushes. They adore each other!

PASQUINOT. Bravo!

BERGAMIN. We must bring matters to a head! [He rubs his hands.]
Ha, ha! Now we can do as we had planned—

PASQUINOT. Yes, and tear down the wall.

BERGAMIN. And live together.

PASQUINOT. Joining our properties.

BERGAMIN. By marrying our children. But I wonder whether they would be so anxious if they knew we wished it? A marriage arranged beforehand is not so tempting to two young children so romantic as ours. That is why we kept our own wishes a secret. I felt sure that after they had been separated—Sylvette in the convent, Percinet at school—they would thrive on their secret love. That is how I came to invent this hatred of ours. And you even doubted its success! Now all we have to do is to say Yes.

PASQUINOT. But how can it be done? Remember, I've called you a scoundrel, fool, idiot—

BERGAMIN. Idiot? Scoundrel was sufficient.

PASQUINOT. Now what pretext—?

BERGAMIN. Your daughter herself has given me an inspiration. This evening they are to meet here at eight. Percinet comes first. At the moment Sylvette appears, mysterious men in black will emerge from the shadows and start to carry her off. An abduction! She screams, then our young hero gives chase, draws his sword—the ravishers pretend to flee—I arrive on the scene, then you—your daughter is safe and sound. You bless the couple and drop a few appropriate tears; my heart is softened. Tableau.

PASQUINOT. A stroke of genius.

BERGAMIN. [Modestly] Yes—I think it really is. Look—see that man coming? It's Straforel, the bravado whom I wrote to a few minutes ago. He is to superintend the abduction.

[STRAFOREL, in an elaborate swordsman's costume, appears at the back of BERGAMIN's park, and swaggers down-stage.]

BERGAMIN. [Descending from the wall and bowing low to STRAFOREL]
Allow me to introduce you to my friend Pasquinot.

STRAFOREL. [Bowing] Monsieur! [He raises his head and sees no
PASQUINOT.]

BERGAMIN. [Pointing to PASQUINOT on the crest of the wall] There, on the wall!—Now, my dear master, does my plan meet with your approval?

STRAFOREL. It does. It is most simple.

BERGAMIN. You must act quickly, you understand?

STRAFOREL. And say nothing!

BERGAMIN. A make-believe abduction and stage-fight with swords.

STRAFOREL. I understand perfectly.

BERGAMIN. You must have skilful swordsmen—I can't have my boy hurt. He is my only child!

STRAFOREL. I will see to that myself.

BERGAMIN. Good. In that case, I shall fear nothing.

PASQUINOT. [Aside to BERGAMIN] Ask him the price?

BERGAMIN. For an abduction, Maestro, how much do you charge?

STRAFOREL. That depends, Monsieur, on the kind you wish; we have them at all prices. In an affair of this kind, however, nothing should be spared. If I were in your place, I should have a first-class abduction.

BERGAMIN. [Surprised] Then you have many classes?

STRAFOREL. Indeed I have. I have the ordinary vulgar abduction in a cab, with two men dressed in black—that's rarely used; the daylight abduction, the midnight abduction; the pompous abduction in a court carriage, with powdered servants—wigs are extra—with mutes, negroes, brigands, musketeers, anything you like! The abduction in a post-chaise, with two, three, four, five, horses, ad lib.; the discreet and quiet abduction, in a small carriage— that one's rather lugubrious; the rollicking abduction, in which the victim is carried away in a sack; the romantic abduction in a boat—but a lake is necessary!—the Venetian abduction, in a gondola—ah, you have no lagoon! Moonlight abduction, or the abduction on a dark and starless night—those moonlight abductions are quite the style, though they are a little dear!—Besides these, there is the abduction by torch-light, with cries and screams, and clash and shock of arms; the brutal abduction, the polite abduction; the classical one with masks; the gallant abduction to the accompaniment of music; but the latest, most stylish, gayest of all, is the sedan-chair abduction!

BERGAMIN. [Scratching his head—aside to PASQUINOT] Well, what do you think?

PASQUINOT. Hm, what do you?

BERGAMIN. I think that we should do everything in the best possible way, no expense spared. Let us give our young romancers something they'll not soon forget. Let's have it with masks, dark mantles, torches, music, and a sedan-chair!

STRAFOREL. [Taking notes] A first-class, then, with all extras.

BERGAMIN. That's it.

STRAFOREL. I shall return soon. [To PASQUINOT] Remember,
Monsieur, to leave open the door of your park to-night.

BERGAMIN. Very well, it shall be done.

STRAFOREL. [Bowing] My compliments. [Turning to go] One first-class—with extras. [He goes out.]

PASQUINOT. The honest man, he went without telling us the price!

BERGAMIN. Everything is arranged. Now we'll live together, after demolishing the wall.

PASQUINOT. And in winter we'll have but one hearth and home!

BERGAMIN. Our dearest wishes are about to be realized!

PASQUINOT. And we'll grow old together!

BERGAMIN. Dear old Pasquinot!

PASQUINOT. Dear old Bergamin! [They embrace. SYLVETTE and PERCINET enter, from each side of the stage and, seeing their fathers embrace]