id="id00272">HARPOOLE.
Swounds, you slave, do you set up your bills here! go to;
take it down again. Doest thou know what thou dost?
Dost thou know on whom thou servest process?

SUMNER.
Yes, marry, do I; Sir John Old-castle, Lord Cobham.

HARPOOLE. I am glad thou knowest him yet: and, sirra, dost not thou know, that the lord Cobham is a brave lord, that keeps good beef and beer in his house, and every day feeds a hundred poor people at's gate, and keeps a hundred tall fellows?

SUMNER.
What's that to my process?

HARPOOLE.
Marry, this, sir! is this process parchment?

SUMNER.
Yes, marry.

HARPOOLE.
And this seal wax?

SUMNER.
It is so.

HARPOOLE. If this be parchment, & this wax, eat you this parchment and this wax, or I will make parchment of your skin, and beat your brains into wax: Sirra Sumner, dispatch; devour, sirra, devour.

SUMNER. I am my lord of Rochester's Sumner; I came to do my office, and thou shalt answer it.

HARPOOLE. Sirra, no railing, but betake you to your teeth. Thou shalt eat no worse than thou bringst with thee: thou bringst it for my lord, and wilt thou bring my lord worse than thou wilt eat thy self?

SUMNER.
Sirra, I brought it not my lord to eat.

HARPOOLE. O, do you sir me now? all's one for that: but I'll make you eat it, for bringing it.

SUMNER.
I cannot eat it.

HARPOOLE. Can you not? sblood I'll beat you until you have a stomach.

[He beats him.]

SUMNER.
O hold, hold, good master serving-man! I will eat it.

HARPOOLE. Be champing, be chawing, sir; or I'll chaw you, you rogue! the purest of the honey! Tough wax is the purest of the honey.

SUMNER.
O Lord, sir! oh! oh!

[He eats.]

HARPOOLE. Feed, feed! wholesome, rogue, wholesome! Cannot you, like an honest Sumner, walk with the devil your brother, to fetch in your Bailiffs' rents, but you must come to a noble man's house with process? Sblood! if thy seal were as broad as the lead that covers Rochester church, thou shouldst eat it.

SUMNER.
O, I am almost choked! I am almost choked!

HARPOOLE. Who's within there? will you shame my Lord? is there no beer in the house? Butler! I say.

[Enter Butler.]

BUTLER.
Here, here.

HARPOOLE.
Give him Beer.

[He drinks.]

There; tough old sheepskin's bare, dry meat.

SUMNER.
O sir, let me go no further; I'll eat my word.

HARPOOLE. Yea, marry, sit! so I mean: you shall eat more than your own word, for I'll make you eat all the words in the process. Why, you drab monger, cannot the secrets of all the wenches in a shire serve your turn, but you must come hither with a citation? with a pox! I'll cite you. [He has then done.] A cup of sack for the Sumner.

BUTLER.
Here, sir, here.

HARPOOLE.
Here, slave, I drink to thee.

SUMNER.
I thank you, sir.

HARPOOLE. Now if thou findst thy stomach well—because thou shalt see my Lord keep's meat in's house—if thou wilt go in, thou shalt have a piece of beef to the break fast.

SUMNER. No, I am very well, good Master serving-man, I thank you; very well sir.

HARPOOLE. I am glad on't. Then be walking towards Rochester to keep your stomach warm; and Sumner, if I may know you disturb a good wench within this Diocese; if I do not make thee eat her petticoat, if there were four yards of Kentish cloth in't, I am a villain.

SUMNER.
God be with you, Master serving-man.

[Exit.]

HARPOOLE.
Farewell, Sumner.

[Enter Constable.]

CONSTABLE.
God save you Master Harpoole.

HARPOOLE.
Welcome, Constable, welcome, Constable; what news with thee?

CONSTABLE. And't please you, Master Harpoole, I am to make hue and cry, for a fellow with one eye that has robbed two Clothiers, and am to crave your hindrance, for to search all suspected places; and they say there was a woman in the company.

HARPOOLE.
Hast thou been at the Alehouse? hast thou sought there?

CONSTABLE. I durst not search, sir, in my Lord Cobham's liberty, except I had some of his servants, which are for my warrant.

HARPOOLE. An honest Constable! an honest Constable! Call forth him that keeps the Alehouse here.

CONSTABLE.
Ho! who's within there?

[Enter Ale-man.]

ALE MAN.
Who calls there? come near a God's name! Oh, is't you,
Master Constable and Master Harpoole? you are welcome
with all my heart. What make you here so early this morning?

HARPOOLE. Sirra, what strangers do you lodge? there is a robbery done this morning, and we are to search for all suspected persons.

ALE MAN. God's bores! I am sorry for't: yfaith, sir, I lodge no body but a good honest merry priest,—they call him sir John a Wrotham— and a handsome woman that is his niece, that he says he has some suit in law for; and as they go up & down to London, sometimes they lie at my house.

HARPOOLE.
What, is he here in thy house now?

ALE MAN. She is, sir. I promise you, sir, he is a quiet man; and because he will not trouble too many rooms, he makes the woman lie every night at his bed's feet.

HARPOOLE. Bring her forth! Constable, bring her forth! let's see her, let's see her.

ALE MAN.
Dorothy, you must come down to Master Constable.

DOLL.
Anon, forsooth.

[She enters.]

HARPOOLE.
Welcome, sweet lass, welcome.

DOLL.
I thank you, good Master serving-man, and master
Constable also.

HARPOOLE.
A plump girl by the mass, a plump girl! Ha, Doll, ha!
Wilt thou forsake the priest, and go with me?

CONSTABLE. A! well said, Master Harpoole; you are a merry old man, yfaith. Yfaith, you will never be old. Now, by the mack, a pretty wench indeed!

HARPOOLE. Ye old mad merry Constable, art thou advised of that. Ha, well said, Doll! fill some ale here.

DOLL. [Aside.] Oh, if I wist this old priest would not stick to me, by Jove, I would ingle this old serving-man.

HARPOOLE. Oh you old mad colt! yfaith, I'll feak you! fill all the pots in the house there.

CONSTABLE. Oh, well said, Master Harpoole! you are heart of oak when all's done.

HARPOOLE.
Ha, Doll, thou hast a sweet pair of lips, by the mass.

DOLL. Truly you are a most sweet old man, as ever I saw; by my troth, you have a face, able to make any woman in love with you.

HARPOOLE.
Fill, sweet Doll; I'll drink to thee.

DOLL.
'I pledge you, sir, and thank you therefore,
And I pray you let it come.'

HARPOOLE. [Embracing her.] Doll, canst thou love me? A mad merry lass! would to God I had never seen thee!

DOLL.
I warrant you, you will