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قراءة كتاب The Wit and Humor of America, Volume III. (of X.)
تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"
class="i0">And sometimes it has come to pass
I've seen one in my looking-glass.
The Duck
Not too sedate nor overwise,
Is best of comrades; frank and free,
A clever hand at making tea;
A fearless nature, full of pluck,
I like her well—she is a Duck.
The Cat
She's seen at many a fête and feast.
She's spiteful, sly and double-faced,
Exceeding prim, exceeding chaste.
And while a soft, sleek smile she wears,
Her neighbor's reputation tears.
The Puppy
The Puppy is the worst one yet.
Clumsy and crude, he hasn't brains
Enough to come in when it rains.
But with insufferable conceit
He thinks that he is just too sweet.
The Kid
A BALLADE OF THE "HOW TO" BOOKS
BY JOHN JAMES DAVIES
And rocks and fissures marred the way,
The few who dared were forced to creep,
Their souls oft quaking with dismay;
The goal achieved, their hairs were gray,
Their bodies bent like shepherds' crooks;
How blest are we who run to-day
The easy road of "How To" books!
Our dullness we no more betray;
To know the stars, or shear a sheep—
To live on air, or polo play;
The trick is ours, or we may stray
Beneath the seas, with science cooks,
And sprint by some reflected ray
The easy road of "How To" books!
ENVOY
THE TREE-TOAD
BY JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY
"I've twittered fer rain all day;
And I got up soon,
And I hollered till noon—
But the sun, hit blazed away,
Till I jest clumb down in a crawfish-hole,
Weary at heart, and sick at soul!
And I tackled the thing agin;
And I sung, and sung,
Till I knowed my lung
Was jest about give in;
And then, thinks I, ef hit don't rain now,
There're nothin' in singin', anyhow!
Would come a-drivin' past;
And he'd hear my cry,
And stop and sigh—
Till I jest laid back, at last,
And I hollered rain till I thought my th'oat
Would bust right open at ever' note!
THE HIRED HAND AND "HA'NTS"
BY E.O. LAUGHLIN
The Hired Hand was Johnnie's oracle. His auguries were infallible; from his decisions there was no appeal. The wisdom of experienced age was his, and he always stood willing to impart it to the youngest. No question was too trivial for him to consider, and none too abstruse for him to answer. He did not tell Johnnie to "never mind" or wait until he grew older, but was ever willing to pause in his work to explain things. And his oracular qualifications were genuine. He had traveled—had even been as far as the State Fair; he had read—from Robinson Crusoe to Dick the Dead Shot, and, more than all, he had meditated deeply.
The Hired Hand's name was Eph. Perhaps he had another name, too, but if so it had become obsolete. Far and wide he was known simply as Eph.
Eph was generally termed "a cur'ous feller," and this characterization applied equally well to his peculiar appearance and his inquiring disposition. In his confirmation nature had evidently sacrificed her love of beauty to a temporary passion for elongation. Length seemed to have been the central thought, the theme, as it were, upon which he had been composed. This effect was heightened by generously broad hands and feet and a contrastingly abbreviated chin. The latter feature caused his countenance to wear in repose a decidedly vacant look, but it was seldom caught reposing, usually having to bear a smirk of some sort.
Eph's position in the Winkle household was as peculiar as his personality.