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قراءة كتاب The Idiot
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THE IDIOT
BY JOHN KENDRICK BANGS
AUTHOR OF "COFFEE AND REPARTEE" "THE WATER GHOST, AND OTHERS" "THREE WEEKS IN POLITICS" ETC.
ILLUSTRATED
NEW YORK
HARPER & BROTHERS PUBLISHERS
1895
Copyright, 1895, by Harper & Brothers
All rights reserved.
TO WILLIAM K. OTIS
CONTENTS
I
II
III
IV
V
VI
VII
VIII
IX
X
XI
XII
BY JOHN KENDRICK BANGS
ILLUSTRATIONS
"THE NUISANCE OF HAVING TO PAY"
"SHE COULD NOT POSSIBLY GET ABOARD AGAIN"
"CERTAINLY. I ASKED FOR ANOTHER CUP"
"THEY ARE GIVEN TO REHEARSING AT ALL HOURS"
"HAS YOUR FRIEND COMPLETED HIS ARTICLE ON OLD JOKES?"
"YOU FISH ALL DAY, AND HAVE NO LUCK"
HE COULD BE HEARD THROWING THINGS ABOUT
"SUPERINTENDENT SMITHERS HAS NOT ABSCONDED"
THE INSPIRED BOARDER PAID HIS BILL
"I KNOW YOU CAN'T, BECAUSE IT ISN'T THERE"
"YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF HEARD IN SAN FRANCISCO"
"I GRASPED IT IN MY TWO HANDS"
"PIANO-PLAYING ISN'T ALWAYS MUSIC"
"THE MOON ITSELF WILL BE USED"
"THE BIBLIOMANIAC WOULD BE RAISING BULBS"
"DIDN'T KNOW ENOUGH TO CHOOSE HIS OWN FACE"
"MY ELOQUENCE FLOATED UP THE AIR-SHAFT"
THE IDIOT
I
For some weeks after the happy event which transformed the popular Mrs. Smithers into the charming Mrs. John Pedagog all went well at that lady's select home for single gentlemen. It was only proper that during the honey-moon, at least, of the happy couple hostilities between the Idiot and his fellow-boarders should cease. It was expecting too much of mankind, however, to look for a continued armistice, and the morning arrived when Nature once more reasserted herself, and trouble began. Just what it was that prompted the remark no one knows, but it happened that the Idiot did say that he thought that, after all, life on a canal-boat had its advantages. Mr. Pedagog, who had come into the dining-room in a slightly irritable frame of mind, induced perhaps by Mrs. Pedagog's insistence that as he was now part proprietor of the house