class="mc">Might Have Perpetuated his Love by Writing "a Book Without a Woman," or Better still, he Might Have Spent the Force of his Extravagant Passion by Executing, in Endless number and variety, Patent Ivory-handled Umbrellas, Quaintly Carved in the Verisimility of the Oggling Odalisque, which Impelled the Hand that Instigated his Love by Peeling his Dexter Eye.

But, Alas! The Thoughtless Pair of Innocents did not Consider that their Love, being Mutual, Must, by the Decree of St. Douglass, die—Unperpetuated—with Them!

Or, if they Weighed the Dire Decree in the Balances of their Social Philosophy, I Doubt Not that they Considered that if they Perpetuated their Love the Length of their Natural Lives they Would have Accomplished Enough. And, methinks their Heads were Equipoised. This Work-a-Day World has all the Dudish Booklets and Carved-Ivory Dagger and Umbrella Handles that it can Easily Carry. Let not Another Booklet break Old Atlas' Back.

And "Douglass, O Douglass, Tender and True," Carve for us no more Heathen Gods of Love. E'en now Their Occupation's Gone.

The Star-Eyed Goddess that Shines Forth From the Glittering Surface of the Almighty Dollar is Goddess Potent enough