Title Page

The kisses of an enemy are deceitful, but not as deceitful as the advice of the friend who is always counseling you for your own good.

The best and the worst in man respond only to woman’s touch—unfortunately for man.

Men reason; women do not. Woman has no logic, and judging from the use it is to man, is better off without it.

The present arrangement of society refuses to many the means to live, while forbidding them the right to die when they wish.

Woman generally tries to attract a man’s eye, and then blames him for being caught by prettiness and superficial charms. But she rarely tries to appeal to his better self.

The man who is pockmarked has most to say against freckles.

Charity covers a multitude of sins which are committed in her name.

Life is full of golden opportunities for doing what we do not want to do.

Never compliment a woman and you will earn her undying enmity. Respect is rarely appreciated by her; but compliments are always at a premium, even counterfeits being accepted as greedily as the real.

When we grow old we walk unfeelingly over that which we, in our youth, madly chased.

The biggest fool is the one who thinks he can fool others with impunity without them knowing and resenting it.

When we get what we want we are always disappointed to find that it is not what we wanted.

Like does not always worship like: Beauty often worships the Beast.

We were all in the front row when modesty was served out—at least we think so.

Because some men are ruined by intemperance it does not follow that all should become abstainers, any more than because some men are ruined by marriage all men should remain single.