greatly if you doubt it;
  I've shown my inmost feelings, all too plainly.

  DORINE
  So then, you love him?

  MARIANE
  Yes, devotedly.

  DORINE
  And he returns your love, apparently?

  MARIANE
  I think so.

  DORINE
  And you both alike are eager
  To be well married to each other?

  MARIANE
  Surely.

  DORINE
  Then what's your plan about this other match?

  MARIANE
  To kill myself, if it is forced upon me.

  DORINE
  Good! That's a remedy I hadn't thought of.
  Just die, and everything will be all right.
  This medicine is marvellous, indeed!
  It drives me mad to hear folk talk such nonsense.

  MARIANE
  Oh dear, Dorine you get in such a temper!
  You have no sympathy for people's troubles.

  DORINE
  I have no sympathy when folk talk nonsense,
  And flatten out as you do, at a pinch.

  MARIANE
  But what can you expect?—if one is timid?—

  DORINE
  But what is love worth, if it has no courage?

  MARIANE
  Am I not constant in my love for him?
  Is't not his place to win me from my father?

  DORINE
  But if your father is a crazy fool,
  And quite bewitched with his Tartuffe? And breaks
  His bounden word? Is that your lover's fault?

  MARIANE
  But shall I publicly refuse and scorn
  This match, and make it plain that I'm in love?
  Shall I cast off for him, whate'er he be,
  Womanly modesty and filial duty?
  You ask me to display my love in public … ?

  DORINE
  No, no, I ask you nothing. You shall be
  Mister Tartuffe's; why, now I think of it,
  I should be wrong to turn you from this marriage.
  What cause can I have to oppose your wishes?
  So fine a match! An excellent good match!
  Mister Tartuffe! Oh ho! No mean proposal!
  Mister Tartuffe, sure, take it all in all,
  Is not a man to sneeze at—oh, by no means!
  'Tis no small luck to be his happy spouse.
  The whole world joins to sing his praise already;
  He's noble—in his parish; handsome too;
  Red ears and high complexion—oh, my lud!
  You'll be too happy, sure, with him for husband.

  MARIANE
  Oh dear! …

  DORINE
  What joy and pride will fill your heart
  To be the bride of such a handsome fellow!

  MARIANE
  Oh, stop, I beg you; try to find some way
  To help break off the match. I quite give in,
  I'm ready to do anything you say.

  DORINE
  No, no, a daughter must obey her father,
  Though he should want to make her wed a monkey.
  Besides, your fate is fine. What could be better!
  You'll take the stage-coach to his little village,
  And find it full of uncles and of cousins,
  Whose conversation will delight you. Then
  You'll be presented in their best society.
  You'll even go to call, by way of welcome,
  On Mrs. Bailiff, Mrs. Tax-Collector,
  Who'll patronise you with a folding-stool.
  There, once a year, at carnival, you'll have
  Perhaps—a ball; with orchestra—two bag-pipes;
  And sometimes a trained ape, and Punch and Judy;
  Though if your husband …

  MARIANE
  Oh, you'll kill me. Please
  Contrive to help me out with your advice.

  DORINE
  I thank you kindly.

  MARIANE
  Oh! Dorine, I beg you …

  DORINE
  To serve you right, this marriage must go through.

  MARIANE
  Dear girl!

  DORINE
  No.

  MARIANE
  If I say I love Valere …

  DORINE
  No, no. Tartuffe's your man, and you shall taste him.

  MARIANE
  You know I've always trusted you; now help me …

  DORINE
  No, you shall be, my faith! Tartuffified.

  MARIANE
  Well, then, since you've no pity for my fate
  Let me take counsel only of despair;
  It will advise and help and give me courage;
  There's one sure cure, I know, for all my troubles.

(She starts to go.)

  DORINE
  There, there! Come back. I can't be angry long.
  I must take pity on you, after all.

  MARIANE
  Oh, don't you see, Dorine, if I must bear
  This martyrdom, I certainly shall die.

  DORINE
  Now don't you fret. We'll surely find some way.
  To hinder this … But here's Valere, your lover.

SCENE IV

VALERE, MARIANE, DORINE

  VALERE
  Madam, a piece of news—quite new to me—
  Has just come out, and very fine it is.

  MARIANE
  What piece of news?

  VALERE
  Your marriage with Tartuffe.

  MARIANE
  'Tis true my father has this plan in mind.

  VALERE
  Your father, madam …

  MARIANE
  Yes, he's changed his plans,
  And did but now propose it to me.

  VALERE
  What!
  Seriously?

  MARIANE
  Yes, he was serious,
  And openly insisted on the match.

  VALERE
  And what's your resolution in the matter,
  Madam?

  MARIANE
  I don't know.

  VALERE
  That's a pretty answer.
  You don't know?

  MARIANE
  No.

  VALERE
  No?

  MARIANE
  What do you advise?

  VALERE
  I? My advice is, marry him, by all means.

  MARIANE
  That's your advice?

  VALERE
  Yes.

  MARIANE
  Do you mean it?

  VALERE
  Surely.
  A splendid choice, and worthy of your acceptance.

  MARIANE
  Oh, very well, sir! I shall take your counsel.

  VALERE
  You'll find no trouble taking it, I warrant.

  MARIANE
  No more than you did giving it, be sure.

  VALERE
  I gave it, truly, to oblige you, madam.

  MARIANE
  And I shall take it to oblige you, sir.

  Dorine (withdrawing to the back of the stage)
  Let's see what this affair will come to.

  VALERE
  So,
  That is your love? And it was all deceit
  When you …

  MARIANE
  I beg you, say no more of that.
  You told me, squarely, sir, I should accept