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قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, December 24, 1892
تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"
اللغة: English
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, December 24, 1892
الصفحة رقم: 6
share,
Despair is darkly drumming
At his dull breast, whose hearth won't flare,
Because—"Christmas is coming!"
Good Greybeard Sire, you would not tire
Gay youth with tales of trouble;
World-gladness is your heart's desire,
And so you're—riding double!
Pleasant to see dear Charity
Close pillion-poised behind you,
Eager to bid her gifts fly free,
We're happy so to find you.
Ride on, and scatter largesse wide!
Sore need is still no rarity,
For all our Progress, Power, and Pride,
We can't dispense with Charity.
Ride on, kind pair, and may the air
With happiness be humming,
And poverty shake off despair,
Because—"Christmas is coming!"
Gay youth with tales of trouble;
World-gladness is your heart's desire,
And so you're—riding double!
Pleasant to see dear Charity
Close pillion-poised behind you,
Eager to bid her gifts fly free,
We're happy so to find you.
Ride on, and scatter largesse wide!
Sore need is still no rarity,
For all our Progress, Power, and Pride,
We can't dispense with Charity.
Ride on, kind pair, and may the air
With happiness be humming,
And poverty shake off despair,
Because—"Christmas is coming!"
Rather too Premature.—We see "Christmas Leaves" advertised everywhere in glaring colours. This announcement is too early. "Christmas Comes," it should be, and then, any time after the 25th, will be appropriate for the announcement of his departure.
THE PORTER'S SLAM.
[A meeting at Manchester has raised a protest against the nuisance caused by the needlessly loud "slamming" of railway carriage doors.]
The porter has a patent "slam,"
Which smites one like a blow,
And everywhere that porter comes,
That "slam" is sure to go.
It strikes upon the tym-pa-num
Like shock of dynamite;
By day it nearly makes you dumb—
It deafens you at night.
When startled by that patent "slam,"
The pious pas-sen-jare,
Says something else that ends in "am,"
(Or he has patience rare.)
Not only does it cause a shock,
But—Manchester remarks—
"Depreciates the rolling stock,"
Well, that is rather larks!
That's not the point. The porter's slam
Conduces to insanity,
And, though as mild as Mary's lamb,
Drives men to loud profanity.
If Manchester the "slam" can stay
By raising of a stir,
All railway-travellers will say,
"Bully for Man-ches-ter!"
Which smites one like a blow,
And everywhere that porter comes,
That "slam" is sure to go.
It strikes upon the tym-pa-num
Like shock of dynamite;
By day it nearly makes you dumb—
It deafens you at night.
When startled by that patent "slam,"
The pious pas-sen-jare,
Says something else that ends in "am,"
(Or he has patience rare.)
Not only does it cause a shock,
But—Manchester remarks—
"Depreciates the rolling stock,"
Well, that is rather larks!
That's not the point. The porter's slam
Conduces to insanity,
And, though as mild as Mary's lamb,
Drives men to loud profanity.
If Manchester the "slam" can stay
By raising of a stir,
All railway-travellers will say,
"Bully for Man-ches-ter!"
Kelly's Directory for 1893.—Invaluable, and considered as "portable property" (to quote Pip's friend), admirably suited for the pocket of any individual who should happen to be about twenty-five feet high. How to use it? Why—see inside—it is full of "Directions."