discomposed, "run back and assist in putting it out."

LVI.—A BAD SHOT.

A cockney being out one day amusing himself with shooting, happened to fire through a hedge, on the other side of which was a man standing. The shot passed through the man's hat, but missed the bird. "Did you fire at me, sir?" he hastily asked. "O! no, sir," said the shrewd sportsman, "I never hit what I fire at."

LVII.—WISE PRECAUTION.

It is related of the great Dr. Clarke, that when in one of his leisure hours he was unbending himself with a few friends in the most playful and frolicsome manner, he observed Beau Nash approaching; upon which he suddenly stopped: "My boys," said he, "let us be grave: here comes a fool."

LVIII.—A TRUMP CARD.

At one of the Holland-house Sunday dinner-parties, a year or two ago, Crockford's Club, then forming, was talked of; and the noble hostess observed, that the female passion for diamonds was surely less ruinous than the rage for play among men. "In short, you think," said Mr. Rogers, "that clubs are worse than diamonds." This joke excited a laugh; and when it had subsided, Sydney Smith wrote the following impromptu sermonet—most appropriately on a card:—

LIX.—MISTAKEN IDENTITY.

A physician attending a lady several times, had received a couple of guineas each visit; at last, when he was going away, she gave him but one; at which he was surprised, and looking on the floor, "I believe, madam," said he, "I have dropt a guinea."—"No, sir," replied the lady, "it is I that have dropt it."

LX.—ALONE IN HIS GLORY.

A facetious fellow having unwittingly offended a conceited puppy, the latter told him he was no "gentleman."—"Are you a gentleman?" asked the droll one. "Yes, sir," bounced the fop. "Then, I am very glad I am not," replied the other.

LXI.—A CAPITAL LETTER.

Dr. Lloyd, Bishop of Worcester, so eminent for his prophecies, when by his solicitations and compliance at court he got removed from a poor Welsh bishopric to a rich English one, a reverend dean of the Church said, that he found his brother Lloyd spelt Prophet with an F.

LXII.—A GOOD PARSON.

Dr. Hickringal, who was one of King Charles the Second's chaplains, whenever he preached before his Majesty, was sure to tell him of his faults from the pulpit. One day his Majesty met the doctor in the Mall, and said to him, "Doctor, what have I done to you that you are always quarrelling with me?"—"I hope your Majesty is not angry with me," quoth the doctor, "for telling the truth."—"No, no," says the king, "but I would have us for the future be friends."—"Well, well," quoth the doctor, "I will make it up with your Majesty on these terms,—as you mend I'll mend."

LXIII.—SUBTRACTION AND ADDITION.

A chimney-sweeper's boy went into a baker's shop for a twopenny loaf, and conceiving it to be diminutive in size, remarked to the baker that he did not believe it was weight. "Never mind that," said the man of dough, "you will have the less to carry."—"True," replied the lad, and throwing three half-pence on the counter left the shop. The baker called after him that he had not left money enough. "Never mind that," said young sooty, "you will have the less to count."

LXIV.—THE DOCTRINE OF CHANCES.

Lord Kames used to relate a story of a man who claimed the honor of his acquaintance on rather singular grounds. His lordship, when one of the justiciary judges, returning from the north circuit to Perth, happened one night to sleep at Dunkeld. The next morning, walking towards the ferry, but apprehending he had missed his way, he asked a man whom he met to conduct him. The other answered with much cordiality: "That I will do, with all my heart, my lord; does not your lordship remember me? My name's John ——; I have had the honor to be before your lordship for stealing sheep?"—"Oh, John, I remember you well; and how is your wife? she had the honor to be before me, too, for receiving them, knowing them to be stolen."—"At your lordship's service. We were very lucky, we got off for want of evidence; and I am still going on in the butcher trade."—"Then," replied his lordship, "we may have the honor of meeting again."

LXV.—A LATE EDITION.

It was with as much delicacy as satire that Porson returned, with the manuscript of a friend, the answer, "That it would be read when Homer and Virgil were forgotten, but not till then."

LXVI.—VERSES WRITTEN ON A WINDOW IN THE HIGHLANDS OF SCOTLAND.

LXVII.—THREE TOUCHSTONES.

An ancient sage uttered the following apothegm:—"The goodness of gold is tried by fire, the goodness of women by gold, and the goodness of men by the ordeal of women."

LXVIII.—A DIALOGUE.

LXIX.—BEAR AND VAN.

The facetious Mr. Bearcroft told his friend Mr. Vansittart, "Your name is such a long one, I shall drop the sittart, and call you Van for the future."—"With all my heart," said he: "by the same rule, I shall drop croft, and call you Bear!"

LXX.—EPITAPH FOR SIR JOHN VANBRUGH.

LXXI.—PROVING THEIR METAL.

When the Prince of Orange, afterwards William the Third, came over to this