ADE'S FABLES

By

GEORGE ADE

By the Same Author
The College Widow, In Pastures New, Knocking the Neighbors, Fables in Slang

Illustrated by John T. McCutcheon

garden city      new york
DOUBLEDAY, PAGE & COMPANY
1914

Copyright, 1912, 1913, by
Cosmopolitan Magazine

Copyright, 1914, by
Doubleday, Page & Co.

All rights reserved, including that of
translation into foreign languages,
including the Scandinavian

"You are entitled to One Hundred Thousand Dollars," murmurs the stealthy Promoter

CONTENTS

• page
•  
• The New Fable of the Private Agitator and What He Cooked Up3
• The New Fable of the Speedy Sprite23
• The New Fable of the Intermittent Fusser43
• The New Fable of the Search for Climate62
• The New Fable of the Father Who Jumped In83
• The New Fable of the Uplifter and His Dandy Little Opus100
• The New Fable of the Wandering Boy and the Wayward Parent119
• The New Fable of What Transpires After the Wind-up137
• The Dream That Came Out with Much to Boot155
• The New Fable of the Toilsome Ascent and the Shining Table-Land171
• The New Fable of the Aerial Performer, the Buzzing Blondine, and
  the Daughter of Mr. Jackson193
• The New Fable of Susan and the Daughter and the Granddaughter, and
  then Something Really Grand212
• The New Fable of the Scoffer Who Fell Hard and the Woman Sitting By237
• The New Fable of the Lonesome Camp on the Frozen Heights257
• The New Fable of the Marathon in the Mud and the Laurel Wreath281

ILLUSTRATIONS

• "You are entitled to One Hundred Thousand Dollars,"
  murmurs the stealthy PromoterFrontispiece
• facing page
•  
• Every time he sauntered carelessly across the porch, he gave a correct
  Imitation of a troop of Cavalry going over a Wooden Bridge43
• Father came in and took one look and said: "Not for Mine! I won't stand
  for any Puss Willow being grafted on to our Family Tree"83
• He was dazed and horrified to find himself suddenly subjected to the
  demoralizing Influences of the Small Town119
• Nearly every evening the Tradesman would back up to the Student Lamp
  and put in a delirious half-hour with the Views155
• He liked to tow something that would cause the Oyster Forks to pause in
  midair and the Catty Ones to reach for their Hardware193
• He tore up the Medal Score, gave all the Clubs to the Caddy ... lifted a grimy
  Paw and uttered the Vow of Renunciation237
• He talked Numbers to himself as he sped along and mumbled over the
  important Letters he was about to dictate281

ADE'S FABLES

THE NEW FABLE OF THE PRIVATE AGITATOR AND WHAT HE COOKED UP

Ambition came, with Sterling Silver Breast-Plate and Flaming Sword, and sat beside a Tad aged 5. The wee Hopeful lived in a Frame House with Box Pillars in front and Hollyhocks leading down toward