you?

Cabman. That's all I want. (To the E. G.) You'll 'ear from me later on.

The E. G. (affectionately). Alwaysh pleash'd shee you, any time.... Pleeshman too.... Shorry can't shtop—mos' 'portant bishnish!

Pol. Which way do you want to go?

The E. G. Earlsh Court.

Pol. Then get there, if you're capable of it. And now, you boys, clear the road, will you?

[The Elderly Gentleman, smiling in the full conviction of having extricated himself from a difficult situation with consummate tact and diplomacy, goes off unsteadily in the direction of Piccadilly, accompanied by a suite of small boys who have kindly resolved to see him through any further adventures that may await his progress. The Cabman remains to discuss the affair at great length on the curbstone. The Policeman paces slowly on, conscious that he has worthily maintained the dignity of his office.

A Correspondent, à propos of the prevailing epidemic, writes,—"Sir, there must have been an epidemic of influenza at Cambridge about thirty-three years ago, as in a travesty of Faust, produced at the A. D. C. about that time, occurs a parody of the song 'Di Frienza' from La Traviata, commencing 'Influenza is about, So I'll stay no longer out.' History repeats itself occasionally.—I am, Yours,

An Influenzial Personage, Trin. Coll. Cam."

THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY.

Miss Amy. "And do you admire Miss Travers, Mr. Goslin?"

Mr. G. "Yes—awf'ly! She's so unlike all other girls, don'tcherknow!!"

PLAIN ENGLISH!

John Bull loquitur:—