قراءة كتاب De Turkey and De Law A Comedy in Three Acts

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‏اللغة: English
De Turkey and De Law
A Comedy in Three Acts

De Turkey and De Law A Comedy in Three Acts

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دار النشر: Project Gutenberg
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then a third who is a chubby little boy. The little boy begins to cry.)

LITTLE BOY
I ain't gointer play cause you hurt me.

HAWK
Aw, naw, I din't hurt you.

LITTLE BOY Yeah you did too. You pecked me right here. (points to top of his head)

HAWK Well if you so touchous you got to cry every time anybody look at you, you can't play wid us.

LITTLE BOY (smothering sobs) I ain't cryin'. (He is placed with the other captives. Hawk returns to game.)

HAWK
Chickie.

HEN
My chickens sleep!

VOICE FROM A DISTANCE
Titter! You Titter!!!

BIG GIRL
Yessum

VOICE
If you don't come here wid dat soap you better!

BIG GIRL (shakes herself poutingly, half sobs) Soon's I git grown I'm gointer run away. Everytime a person gits to havin' fun, it's "come here, Titter and rake de yard." She don't never make Bubber do nothin. (She exits into the store.)

HAWK
Now we ain't got no hen.

ALL THE GIRLS (in a clamor) I'll be de mama hen! Lemme be it! (Enter Hambo left and stands looking at the children.)

HAMBO
Can't dese young uns keep up a powerful racket, Joe?

LINDSAY They sho kin. They kin git round so vi'grous when they whoopin and hollerin and rompin and racin, but just put 'em to work now and you kin count dead lice fallin' off of 'em.

(Enter Tillie from the store with the soap. Hambo pulls out a plug of tobacco from his hip pocket and bites a chunk from it.)

HAMBO
De way dese chillun is dese days is,—eat? Yes! Squall and holler?
Yes! Kick out shoes? Yes! Work? No!!

LINDSAY You sho is tellin' de truth. Now look at dese! I'll bet everyone of 'em's mammies sent 'em to de store an' they out here frollickin'. If one of 'em was mine, I'd whup 'em till they couldn't set down. (to the children) Shet up dat racket and gwan home! (The children pay no attention and the game gets hotter.)

DISTANT VOICE (off stage) You Tit-ter!! You Tit-Ter!!

WALTER
Titter, don't you hear yo' ma callin' you?

ESSIE
Yessuh, I mean naw suh.

LINDSAY How come you can't answer, then? Lawd knows de folks just ruins chilluns dese days. Deys skeered tuh whup 'em right. Den before they gits twenty de gals done come up wid somethin' in dey arms an' de boys on de chain gang. If you don't whup 'em, they'll whip you.

HAMBO Dat sho is whut de Lawd loves. When I wuz a boy they raised chillen then. Now they lets 'em do as they please. There ain't no real chestizing no more. They takes a lil tee-ninchy switch and tickles em. No wonder de world is in sich uh mess.

VOICE OFF STAGE
You Tit-ter!! Aw Titter!!

ESSIE (stops to listen) Yessum!!

VOICE OFF STAGE
If you don't come here, you better!

ESSIE Yessum! (to her playmates) Aw shucks! I got to go home. (She exits right, walking sullenly. The game has stopped.)

LINDSAY (pointing at Essie) You see dat gal shakin' herself at her mammy? De sassy lil binch needs her guts stomped out. (to Essie) Run! I'm comin' on down there an' tell yo' ma how 'omanish you is, shakin' yo'self at grown folks. (Essie walks slower and shakes her skirt contemptously. Lindsay jumps to his feet as if to pursue her.) You must smell yo'self! (Essie exits.) Now de rest of you haitians scatter way from in front dis store. Dis ain't no place for chillen, nohow. (gesture of shooing) Gwan! Thin out! Every time a grownperson open they mouf y'all right dere to gaze down they throat. Git! (The children exit sullenly right. In the silence that follows the cracking of Walter's peanut shells can be heard very plainly.)

HAMBO Walter, God a' mighty! You better quit eatin' em ground peas de way you do. You gointer die wid de colic.

LINDSAY Aw, taint gointer hurt him. I don't b'lieve uh cord uh wood would lay heavy on Walter's belly. He kin eat mo' penders than Brazzle's mule.

WALTER (laughing) Aw naw, don't throw me in wid dat mule. He could eat up camp-meetin, back off scociation and drink Jurdan dry.

LINDSAY
And still stay so po' till he wuzn't nothin atall but a mule frame.
(Enter Lige Moseley right) Taint never been no mule in de world lak
dat ole yaller mule since Jonah went to joppy.

(Lige seats himself on the floor on the other side of the steps. Pulls out a bone toothpick and begins to pick his teeth)

LIGE
Y'all still talkin bout Brazzle's ole useter-be mule?

HAMBO
Yeah. Memeber dat time Brazzle hitched him to de plow and took him to
Eshleman's new ground?

LIGE And he laid down before he'd plow a lick. Sho I do! But who ever seen him work? All you ever did see was him and Brazzle fightin up and down de furrows. (all laugh) He was so mean he would even try to kick you if you went in his stall to carry him some corn.

WALTER Nothin but pure concentrated meanness stuffed into uh mule hide. Thass de reason he wouldn't git fat—just too mean.

LIGE Sho was skinny now. You could use his ribs for a washboard and hang de clothes up on his hips to dry. (all laugh)

HAMBO Lige, you kin lie [Note: "like" crossed out] lak cross ties [Note inserted text: from Jacksonville to Key West.]. But layin all sides to jokes, when they told me dat mule was dead, uh just took and knocked off from work to see him drug out lak all de rest of de folks, and folkses dat mule wuz too contrary to lay down on his side and die. He laid on his raw-boney back wid his foots stickin straight up in de air lak he wuz fightin something.

LINDSAY He wuz—bet he fought ole death lak a natural man. Ah seen his bones yistiddy, out dere on de edge of de cypress swamp. De buzzards done picked em clean and de elements done bleached em.

LIGE Everybody went to dat draggin out. Even Joe Clarke shet up his store dat mornin and went (turns his head and calls into the store) didn't you, Mr. Clarke?

CLARKE'S VOICE
Didn't I whut? (enters and stands in door)

LIGE
Shet up yo' store and go to de draggin out of Brazzle's ole mule.

CLARKE I, God, Yeah. It was worth it. (sees Hambo) I didn't know you was out here. Lemme beat you uh game of checkers.

HAMBO Lissen at de ole tush hawg! Well, go git de board, and lemme beat you a pair of games befo' de mail gits in.

CLARKE (to the others) Beat old me! (to Hambo) Come on here, youse my fish. (calls into store) Mattie bring me dat checker-board and de checkers! (to men on porch) You got to talk to wimmen-folks lak dat—tell 'em every lil' thing-do she'd come rackin out here wid de board by itself.

(Enter Mrs. Clarke with homemade checker-board and coffee can containing the much-used checkers. Clarke sits on a keg and faces Hambo. They put the board on their knees and pour out the checkers)

HAMBO
You want black or red?

CLARKE Oh, I don't keer which—I'm gointer beat you anyhow. You take de black. (they arrange them. The others get near to look on. Hambo sits looking at the board without moving.)

HAMBO
Who's first move?

CLARKE Black folks always go to work first. Move! (Hambo moves and the same proceeds with the spectators very interested. Enter Lum Boger [Note: Handwritten correction: Bailey]

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