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قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, March 18, 1914

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, March 18, 1914

Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, March 18, 1914

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دار النشر: Project Gutenberg
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Lady (to elderly and confidential maid). "I've often wondered why you've never married, Simpson?"

Simpson (disdainfully). "I don't like men in any form, my lady."


THE WILD SWAN.

Lament on a very rare bird who recently appeared in England and was immediately shot.

Over the sea (ye maids) a wild swan came;

(O maidens) it was but the other day;

Men saw him as he passed, with earnest aim

To some sequestered spot down Norfolk way—

A thing whose like had not been seen for years:

Lament, ye damsels, nor refuse your tears.

Serene, he winged his alabaster flight

Neath the full beams of the mistaken sun

O'er gazing crowds, till at th' unwonted sight

Some unexpected sportsman with a gun

Brought down the bird, all fluff, mid sounding cheers:

Mourn, maidens, mourn, and wipe the thoughtful tears.

Well you may weep. No common bird was he.

Has it not long been known, the whole world wide,

A wild swan is a prince of faerie,

Who comes in such disguise to choose his bride

From those of humble lot and tame careers,

Of whom I now require some punctual tears.

Wherefore, I say, let every scullion-wench

Grieve, nor the dairy-maid from sobs refrain;

The sad postmistress, too, should feel the wrench,

And the lone tweeny of her loss complain;

Let one—let all afflict the listening spheres:

Deplore, ye maids, his fate with rueful tears.

It was for these he sought this teeming land,

High on the silvery wings of old romance;

One knows not where; he had bestowed his hand,

But e'en the least had stood an equal chance

Of such fair triumph, o'er her bitter peers

And the sweet pleasure of their anguished tears.

O prince of faerie! O stately swan!

And ye, whose hopes are with the might-have-beens,

Curst be the wretch through whom those hopes have gone,

Who blew your magic swain to smithereens;

Let your full-sorrows whelm his stricken ears;

Lament, ye damsels, nor refuse your tears.

Dum-dum.


The Lady's Realm on a new film:—

"The cost from first to last amounted to £12,000 ... The entire cast—an enormous one, numbering eight thousand people ... visited Rome and the Nile."

This decides us where to spend our holidays. To do Rome and the Nile for £1 10s. a head is not a chance to be missed.


It has been asked, "Where were the police?" Here is the answer:—

"The six cuts appeared to have been inflicted with the cutting edge of a chopper, and the seventh with the flat part of the end of the copper."—Manchester Guardian.

Robert (putting his foot through the picture): "May as well make a job of it."


THE LATEST VELASQUITH.

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