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قراءة كتاب The Eugenic Marriage, Volume 3 (of 4) A Personal Guide to the New Science of Better Living and Better Babies
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The Eugenic Marriage, Volume 3 (of 4) A Personal Guide to the New Science of Better Living and Better Babies
of interest in his work is because it does not fully satisfy his ambition, this is a splendid opportunity for the tactful and resourceful wife.
It was suggested to an enterprising little wife, whose husband was earning a small salary as a bookkeeper, to advise him to study stenography and correspondence at the Y. M. C. A. He did so, and is now the private secretary of the president of a large corporation, at a salary of six thousand dollars per year. His wife encouraged and cajoled him during the long winter nights when he studied late. She sacrificed herself by giving up all social entertainments and other pleasures. She catered to his tastes and comfort, and she talked so entertainingly during spare moments of what the future would be when he was a great success, that he was simply compelled to make good. She got her reward, and the very struggle and effort strengthened their characters, broadened their sympathies, and taught them the true meaning of love and affection.
Other young wives may achieve similar success if they "go about it right." That is the secret. That was the secret of this young wife's success. She first knew what she wanted, she then prepared the way by tactfully showing her husband how he could increase his efficiency. She kept the subject diplomatically before him by directly praising him, assuring him that he had the ability, that he would find it easy, that he was meant for "higher things." Then she drew word pictures of where they would live, the kind of house she would like and the new furniture she would buy, and where they would spend their vacations when he was earning the salary which she knew he was worth. They began to live in this future, it became part of their life, his pride was awakened, he would be ashamed to fail, he was whipped to the post and spurred to the finish and he won the race, because he had married the right kind of a woman. "The right kind of a woman,"—the woman who knows that "the marriage vow" does not make a wife, but that comradeship in the bearing of the burdens of life does.
The Wife's Part.—Having read the preceding pages some young wives may ask if that is really what being married means? If it is all work and sacrifice and no pleasure? That is exactly what it means and if there is no pleasure in work and sacrifice, then there is no pleasure in married life. The young wife who fails to see the significance of this interpretation of what has been written has a fundamentally wrong idea of what married life means.
A woman who begins her wedded life with less loyal ideals than are depicted in the performance of the duties we have enumerated is imposing on her husband and is false to herself. She will not attain happiness and success. To marry in order to have a good time should be a state's prison offence.
Happiness and contentment and success are products of duty well done. They are the logical recompense for effort and sacrifice. Individual happiness is not the chief object of existence in this life. To work efficiently is the supreme obligation. It is naturally to desire happiness and to labor for it; but it is absurd to be annoyed and angry because we do not find it. Happiness through marriage is never attained except by never-ending self-abnegation and effort.
We must struggle or we will degenerate. A correct interpretation of racial progress proves this truth. Effort is the supreme law. All good things have been given to man at the price of labor.
ADVICE TO YOUNG WIVES
CHAPTER XXV