قراءة كتاب The Eugenic Marriage, Volume 3 (of 4) A Personal Guide to the New Science of Better Living and Better Babies
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The Eugenic Marriage, Volume 3 (of 4) A Personal Guide to the New Science of Better Living and Better Babies
the inherited tendency. Many mothers succumb to just such conditions, where had they remained single until a later period they could have assumed the responsibility of maternity without any evil consequences.
The idea that by an early marriage a woman can train and change the inborn characteristics of her husband is a mistake. Few women can reform a husband after marriage. If she cannot reform him before marriage she will never do it afterward. These inborn traits will have their way despite anything she may be able to do to change them—only the man himself can control and govern them. During the period of this temperamental transformation the function of parenthood should not be exercised. Only when a man's character is fully matured should he be permitted to transfer it to another generation.
The idea has been advanced that early marriages will tend to preserve youth from sowing wild oats. The woman who is the victim of this delusion will reap a harvest of discontent and misery. Any man who needs the sacrifice of a woman to cultivate the art of self-control is not a fit citizen, far less a fit husband or father. A man who is willing to bring children into the world before he is a self-governed animal does not understand the first principles of race-regeneration, and it is the duty of parents to educate their sons and daughters in this fundamental idea. To be an efficient parent one must be mentally, morally, and physically developed.
The Wedding Night;—Its Medical Aspect.—The fundamental object of true marriage is the propagation of the species. Woman plays the more important part in the consummation of this duty inasmuch as she is the origin and depository of the future being. It is, therefore, most important that she should not be wholly ignorant of the nature and responsibilities of her position. Suffering, disease and death may result as a consequence of ignorance of these matters. It is the duty and the privilege of medical science to state, in language which all may understand, the facts regarding this interesting human event.
It would seem as though suffering to some degree, characterized each epoch in a woman's life; menstruation, marriage and maternity. Much may be done, however, to lessen the pain necessary to the consummation of marriage. Not infrequently difficulty is experienced in this respect and great care, forbearance and gentleness must be exercised or unnecessary pain and injury may result. It is quite possible to cause serious injury by unrestrained impetuosity and this must be guarded against. It is sometimes absolutely necessary to consult a physician, especially in cases where greater resistance is experienced than is to be expected. These are rare cases.
The first conjugal approaches are usually accompanied by a slight bleeding. They may not be so, however, and the absence of blood has no significance or meaning. The most suitable time to select for marriage is midway between the monthly periods. This is a season of sterility, and as the first nuptial relations may be followed by indisposition, pain and nervous irritability, it would be well to select a time when these ailments shall have an opportunity to subside before the appearance of the disturbances incident to pregnancy.
The Honeymoon.—From a medical standpoint there is great need of a radical change in the way in which this nuptial period is spent. For many weeks previous to marriage the bride's existence is a long drawn-out period of nervous tension. Instead of enjoying mental and physical rest and repose, every moment of the time is crowded with exacting incidents, which, ordinarily, would wreck the nervous system of a robust individual. If this exciting preparatory experience ended in a period of rest and recuperation, it might not prove physically disastrous, instead of which, however, we know that the bride is subjected to a series of physiological tragedies which few weather with impunity. At no time of her life is she more in need of being surrounded with all the comforts of home and the intelligent direction of sympathizing friends who understand and appreciate the crisis through which she is passing. Custom, however, dictates that she shall be hurried from place to place at a time when the bodily quiet and the mental calmness and serenity so desirable to her should be the only object in view.
Marital relations still continue painful and will be so for a few weeks. Too frequent indulgence at this period is a fruitful source of various inflammatory diseases, and often occasions temporary sterility and ill health. In many cases constitutional disturbances and nervous disorders have their beginning at this time and these unfortunate conditions are directly caused by the discomforts incident to the silliness of the social custom which deprives the woman of the rest and quiet necessary.
The awakening of the sexual function is a tremendously important medical incident in the life of any woman. The simplest mind may adequately understand why such an experience should be consummated in a cheerful environment of domestic comfort and peace. To drag a girl around sight-seeing, when her nerves are on edge and supersensitive; when she is physically unfit, weary and not at all interested; when her brain is apprehensively busy with secret conjectures in which her husband even may not participate, is a species of torture which the average bride submits to with the best grace possible because social custom dictates the stupid programme.
Mothers should approach this subject with tact and diplomacy, but they should, nevertheless, approach it with firm intentions to persuade their daughters to consider the situation from a common sense standpoint. The custom of the honeymoon survives because young brides do not appreciate the facts involved. It is the mother's duty to acquaint them with the truth, and no sensible mother will plan, or agree to a honeymoon that involves continuous discomfort and possible serious consequences to the health of her daughter at the beginning of what should be the happiest period of her life.
When Marital Relations Are Painful.—Nature did not intend that the act by which the earth is to be replenished should be painful. If therefore, pain is a constant characteristic of this function, it is an evidence that disease exists and it should be given attention at the earliest possible moment. A displaced, congested womb is most frequently the cause. Such displacements most likely are a result of imprudence in dress, constipation and general negligence on the part of the victim. To delay or postpone assistance in such cases is dangerous, while on the other hand, relief is prompt and as a rule satisfactory if taken in time.
Times When Marital Relations Should be Suspended.—There are times when such relations are eminently improper. There are certain legitimate causes for denial by the wife.
Intoxication in the husband is a good reason for refusal. Idiots and epileptics have been produced as a result of one parent being intoxicated when fecundation took place. Many cases are on record whose history is well authenticated where the mental faculties of the offspring have been totally destroyed.
Convalescence from a severe sickness is a just cause for sexual abstinence. The existence of any local or constitutional disease which would be aggravated by marital relationship is also a just cause of refusal. The existence of a contagious disease renders a refusal valid. Sexual intercourse should never be permitted during the menses. Pregnancy is unquestionably a just cause for refraining from all marriage duties.
The First Weeks and Months of Wifehood.—The daughter is established in her own home: she is now the young wife, the prospective mother. What can we say that will be helpful at this period—those wonderful first weeks