قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 93, August 13, 1887

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 93, August 13, 1887

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 93, August 13, 1887

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دار النشر: Project Gutenberg
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Harold."

Just fancy being levelled down to—Byron!

Alas! what woes the poet's path environ.

What next, and next? Byron called Southey "gander."

But then the lordly rhymester railed at Landor,

One of the Swinburne fetishes, enough

To prove that all he wrote was soulless stuff—

But stop! Who knows that Swinburne, on the ravage,

May not, next time, pitch into Walter Savage?

The idols he once worshipped now he'd burn,

So e'en Mazzini yet may have his turn—

Nay, since the hour for palinodes has struck,

At Hugomania he may run amuck;

And, Victor being laid upon the shelf,

There'll be but one to round upon—himself.


ELEGANT EXTRACTS BY EMINENT MEN.

A very interesting article appears in the current number of the Fortnightly Magazine, in which the favourite "quotations" of many celebrated persons are introduced with much effect. Always ready to take a hint, Mr. Punch has asked everyone he knows to furnish him with his predilections. The following is the result:—

Mr. Briefless, Junior, of Pump-handle Court writes, "I have carefully considered the circular you have forwarded to me, and am distinctly of opinion that my favourite reading is, 'With you the Attorney-General.'"

"Robert" says that his favourite phrase is, "'Ere's 'alf a sovereign for yourself, but you deserves more!"

"'Arry" says he can't think of anything more "fust class" than, "The 'orn of the 'unter is 'eard on the 'ill."

And (more or less) the whole world declares that there is no pleasanter announcement than "Punch, or the London Charivari, is published every Wednesday."


Mem. for Our Muddlers.

It cannot be in the interests of peace that we turn our swords into—corkscrews, and our bayonets into—button-hooks. That extremely secular reading of a sacred passage, appears to be the accepted one, however, in Ordnance Departments, and other places where they play the fool.



GERMAN ENGLISH.

German Belle. "Ach! you are font of Yachting! Zen I zuppose you are a goot Salesman?"


THE END OF THE JUBILEE.

I've been to the Abbey, the Naval Review,

The Maske at Gray's Inn and the Institute too;

In fact I feel just like the Wandering Jew,

Or other historical rover:

I've turned day into night and the night into day,

In a regular rollicking Jubilee way,

And now I can truly and thankfully say,

I'm uncommonly glad that it's over.

I've been to a number of Jubilee balls,

And I'm really worn out by the parties and calls;

I've fed in the City 'neath shade of St. Paul's,

And ate little fish by the river:

I've been to big picnics both up and down stream,

I've wallowed in strawberries smothered in cream,

Which, following lobster, most doctors would deem

Was remarkably bad for the liver.

I've read all the Jubilee articles, loads

Of Jubilee leaders and Jubilee odes,

And seen how each poet his Pegasus goads,

Though gaining but slight inspiration;

A chaos of Jubilee Numbers I've seen,

And Jubilee pictures and lives of the Queen,

And the Jubilee coinage that's greeted, I ween,

With anything but jubilation.

But, now all is over, sincerely I trust

The Nation no longer will kick up a dust,

The Jubilee really has done for me just

As "Commodious" scared Mr. Boffin:

Any more jubilation would finish me quite,

As it is I've a horrible dream every night

That a Jubilee demon is screwing me tight

Down into a Jubilee coffin!


The Correct Card.

Mr. Goldwin Smith says:—"The one thing certain about Tory-Democracy, besides its origin, is, that it is the card of a political gamester." It may perhaps help the ponderous Professor, in a future philippic, to know, in addition, that the associations of Tory-Democracy at once suggest "Clubs," and the game it is playing, the "deuce."


THE PARLIAMENTARY BALLYHOOLY.

Air—"Ballyhooly."

There's a dashing sort of bhoy who was once his country's joy,

But his ructions and his rows no longer charm me,

He often takes command in a fury-spouting band

Called the "Ballyhooly" Parliamentary Army.

At Donnybrook's famed fair he might shine with radiance rare,

A "Pathriot" he's called, and may be truly,

It is catching, I'm afraid, for when he is on parade

There seems scarce a sober man in "Ballyhooly."

Chorus.

Whililoo, hi ho! Faith they all enlist, ye know,

Though their ructions and their shindies fail to charm me,

Bad language, howls, and hate put an end to fair debate

In the "Ballyhooly" Parliamentary Army.

The Spayker, honest soul, finds they're quite beyond control,

Discussion takes a most extinded radius,

It's about as fine and clear as the stalest ginger-beer,

But the "bhoys," they never seem to find it "tadyious."

And what is worse, to-day all the Army march one way,

That is in being ructious and unruly,

If a Mimber in debate wants to argue fair and straight,

Faith they howl him out of court in "Ballyhooly."

Chorus—Whililoo, hi, ho, &c.

They're supposed to hould debate in the interests of the State,

Which one and all they do their best to injure;

I have said their talk's as clear as the stalest ginger-beer,

And they mix the vilest vitriol with the ginger.

The bhoys are not alone, for in sorrow one must own

The young Tories are as noisy and unruly,

And the Rads they rave and rail till one longs to lodge in gaol

The intemperate brigade of "Ballyhooly."

Chorus—Whililoo, hi, ho, &c.

There's a moral to my song, and it won't detain yez long,

Of Party spirit e'en the merest "nip" shun.

It's poison, that is clear, Ballyhooly "ginger-beer,"

As ye'll own when I have given the prescription.

You take heaps of Party "rot," spirit mean, and temper hot,

Lies, blasphemy, and insult; mix them duly;

For sugar put in salt, bitter gall for honest malt,

Faith, they call it "Statesmanship" in "Ballyhooly."

Chorus—Whililoo, hi, ho, &c.

Encore Verse.

Since you're kind enough to crave just another

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