the miserable Socrates and
     Chaerephon.

     Strep. Hold! Hold! Be silent! Do not say anything
     foolish. But, if you have any concern for your father's
     patrimony, become one of them, having given up your
     horsemanship.

     Phid. I would not, by Bacchus, even if you were to give
     me the pheasants which Leogoras  rears!

     Strep. Go, I entreat you, dearest of men, go and be
     taught.

     Phid. Why, what shall I learn?

     Strep. They say that among them are both the two
     causes—the better cause, whichever that is, and the
     worse: they say that the one of these two causes, the
     worse, prevails, though it speaks on the unjust side.
     If, therefore you learn for me this unjust cause, I
     would not pay any one, not even an obolus of these
     debts, which I owe at present on your account.

     Phid. I can not comply; for I should not dare to look
     upon the knights, having lost all my colour.

     Strep. Then, by Ceres,  you shall not eat any of my
     good! Neither you, nor your blood-horse; but I will
     drive you out of my house to the crows.

     Phid. My uncle Megacles will not permit me to be without
     a horse. But I'll go in, and pay no heed to you.

     [Exit Phidippides.]

     Strep. Though fallen, still I will not lie prostrate:
     but having prayed to the gods, I will go myself to the
     thinking-shop and get taught. How, then, being an old
     man, shall I learn the subtleties of refined
     disquisitions? I must go. Why thus do I loiter and not
     knock at the door?

     [Knocks at the door.]

     Boy! Little boy!

     Disciple (from within). Go to the devil! Who it is that
     knocked at the door?

     Strep. Strepsiades, the son of Phidon, of Cicynna.

     Dis. You are a stupid fellow, by Jove! who have kicked
     against the door so very carelessly, and have caused the
     miscarriage of an idea which I had conceived.

     Strep. Pardon me; for I dwell afar in the country. But
     tell me the thing which has been made to miscarry.

     Dis. It is not lawful to mention it, except to
     disciples.

     Strep. Tell it, then, to me without fear; for I here am
     come as a disciple to the thinking-shop.

     Dis. I will tell you; but you must regard these as
     mysteries. Socrates lately asked Chaerephon  about a
     flea, how many of its own feet it jumped; for after
     having bit the eyebrow of Chaerephon, it leaped away
     onto the head of Socrates.

     Strep. How then did he measure this?

     Dis. Most cleverly. He melted some wax; and then took
     the flea and dipped its feet in the wax; and then a pair
     of Persian slippers stuck to it when cooled. Having
     gently loosened these, he measured back the distance.

     Strep. O King Jupiter! What subtlety of thought!

     Dis. What then would you say if you heard another
     contrivance of Socrates?

     Strep. Of what kind? Tell me, I beseech you!

     Dis. Chaerephon the Sphettian asked him whether he
     thought gnats buzzed through the mouth or the breech.

     Strep. What, then, did he say about the gnat?

     Dis. He said the intestine of the gnat was narrow and
     that the wind went forcibly through it, being slender,
     straight to the breech; and then that the rump, being
     hollow where it is adjacent to the narrow part,
     resounded through the violence of the wind.

     Strep. The rump of the gnats then is a trumpet! Oh,
     thrice happy he for his sharp-sightedness! Surely a
     defendant might easily get acquitted who understands the
     intestine of the gnat.

     Dis. But he was lately deprived of a great idea by a
     lizard.

     Strep. In what way? Tell me.

     Dis. As he was investigating the courses of the moon and
     her revolutions, then as he was gaping upward a lizard
     in the darkness dropped upon him from the roof.

     Strep. I am amused at a lizard's having dropped on
     Socrates.

     Dis. Yesterday evening there was no supper for us.

     Strep. Well. What then did he contrive for provisions?

     Dis. He sprinkled fine ashes on the table, and bent a
     little spit, and then took it as a pair of compasses and
     filched a cloak from the Palaestra.

     Strep. Why then do we admire Thales?  Open open quickly
     the thinking-shop, and show to me Socrates as quickly as
     possible. For I desire to be a disciple. Come, open the
     door.

     [The door of the thinking-shop opens and the pupils of
     Socrates are seen all with their heads fixed on the
     ground, while Socrates himself is seen suspended in the
     air in a basket.]

     O Hercules, from what country are these wild beasts?

     Dis. What do you wonder at? To what do they seem to you
     to be like?

     Strep. To the Spartans who were taken at Pylos.  But why
     in the world do these look upon the ground?

     Dis. They are in search of the things below the earth.

     Strep. Then they are searching for roots. Do not, then,
     trouble yourselves about this; for I know where there
     are large and fine ones. Why, what are these doing, who
     are bent down so much?

     Dis. These are groping about in darkness under Tartarus.

     Strep. Why then does their rump look toward heaven?

     Dis. It is getting taught astronomy alone by itself.

     [Turning to the pupils.]

     But go in, lest he meet with us.

     Strep. Not yet, not yet; but let them remain, that I may
     communicate to them a little matter of my own.

     Dis. It is not permitted to them to remain without in
     the open air for a very long time.

     [The pupils retire.]

     Strep. (discovering a variety of mathematical
     instruments) Why, what is this, in the name of heaven?
     Tell me.

     Dis. This is Astronomy.

     Strep. But what is this?

     Dis. Geometry.

     Strep. What then is the use of this?

     Dis. To measure out the land.

     Strep. What belongs to an allotment?

     Dis. No, but the whole earth.

     Strep. You tell me a clever notion; for the contrivance
     is democratic and useful.

     Dis. (pointing to a map) See, here's a map of the whole
     earth. Do you see? This is Athens.

     Strep. What say you? I don't believe you; for I do not
     see the Dicasts  sitting.

     Dis. Be assured that this is truly the Attic territory.

     Strep. Why, where are my fellow-tribesmen of Cicynna?

     Dis. Here they are. And Euboea here, as you see, is
     stretched out a long way by the side of it to a great
     distance.

     Strep. I know that; for it was stretched by us and
     Pericles.  But where is Lacedaemon?

     Dis. Where is it? Here it is.

     Strep. How near it is to us! Pay great attention to
     this, to remove it very far from