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قراءة كتاب English as She is Wrote Showing Curious Ways in which the English Language may be made to Convey Ideas or obscure them.
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English as She is Wrote Showing Curious Ways in which the English Language may be made to Convey Ideas or obscure them.
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On Eliza Newman:
Her offspring Pluckt too long deprived of life was she.
Three went before. Her Life went with the Six
I stay with 3 Our sorrows for to mix
Till Christ our only hope, Our Joys doth fix."
On a drummer, in an English church-yard:
And was killed by a bullet, and his soul sent for;
There were no friends to mourn him, for his virtues were rare,
He died like a man, and like a Christian bear."
On a stone near Appomattox Court-house, Virginia:
"Robert C Wright was born June 26th 1772 Died July 2. 1815 by the blood thrusty hand of John Sweeny Sr Who was massacred with the Nife then a London Gun discharge a ball penetrate the Heart that give the immortal wound."
At Middletown, Connecticut, is the following:
He was our only one,
Altho' we've buried three before—
Two daughters and a son."
The controlling power of rhyme is well illustrated in the subjoined, from a tombstone in Manchester:
All that remains of Nicholas Newcity.
"N. B.—His name was Newtown."
Another instance of how rhyming difficulties may be overcome is as follows:
The most amiable of husbands and excellent of men.
"N. B.—His real name was Woodcock, but it wouldn't come in rhyme. His Widow."
The subjoined contains a solemn warning:
She was thoughtful while dying, and said 'Tom, don't cry.'
She was a great beauty, so every one knows,
With Hebe like features and a fine Roman nose;
She played the piany, and was learning a ballad,
When she sickened and die-did from eating veal salad."
Upon a tombstone in Pennsylvania:
April 6 1862
John D L was born March 26 1839 in the town of West Dresden State of New York where the wicked cease from troubling and the weary are at rest."
A tombstone in Pittsfield, Massachusetts, has these lines:
And this inform you where I lie,
Remember you ere long must have,
Like me, a mansion in the grave,
Also 3 infants, 2 sons and a daughter."
IV.
By Correspondents.
From a butcher at Berhampoor, India, to a customer:
"To his Highness—Kid Esquire
"The humble butcher, Nows Rouny, Restpectfully sheweth that for your honor has sent a good beef, 1 rump and pleased to take it and pay day labor of bearer coolly. As your obedient butcher shall ever pray."
From a scholar in India to his master:
From an Indian school-boy:
"Benevolent Sir: The wolf of sickness has laid hold on the flock of my health."
From an Indian clerk:
"Sir. Being afflicted to the stomach and vomiteng I am sorry I cannot attend to office today."
From a Canadian lady to eligible gentleman:
"Dear Mr. B. I, Mrs. Wigston wish you would call on my daughter Amelia. She is very amusing and is a regular young flirt. She can sing like a hunny bee and her papa can play on the fiddle nicely and we might have a rare ho-down. Amelia is highely educated, she can dance like a grasshopper looking for grub and she can meke beautiful bread, it tastes just like hunny bees' bread and for pumpkin pies she can't be beat. In fact she's ahead of all F girls and will make a good wife for any man.
"Yours truly
"Mrs. Wigston."Bring your brother."
From a school-boy to the elder Booth:
"West House School. Prospect N.Y.
"Dear Sur and Frend."Heering that you was going to come to Uttica to perform in a play called Hamlit I would like to say that us boys is gitting up a Exibition for the benefit of diseased soldiers and their widows and orfans and would like to engage you to do the leading part. I have talked it up with the boys and we will do the squire thing by you and I am arterised to make you the following offer. We will come doun after you with a good conveyance and will give you at the rate of 10 dollars a day and board and shall want you one week. If you think it necessary you can have one or two of our best women actors to come up with you but we can't pay them over three dollars a day and feed. You can have some fun at a hunting deer and foxes around Flamburgs and Ed Wilkisun's. Pleas let me know as soon as you can.
"Yours truly James Sweet.
"If you come callating to hunt get Frank Meyer's hound she is a good one."
We subjoin several letters received by a New York publishing house:
"—— La, Nov 18, 188-.
"Dear Sir. I have seated my self down to pen you a few lines in reguards off your high degrode Tex Books Sir I wish you would forward to me in the next Mail a Cataloudge off all of your Edgucational old and latest publish books in Market I stand in need off a good set of books and when I receive your Cataloudge I will send on immeadily and get a Selecticed outfit of your books. By so doing you will oblidge yours & Etc."
"dear Sr I saw A smawl list of yours embraces standard works in every department of study and for every grade of classes from the primary school to the university I desire to have correspondence with you and as I taught school for threw 3 seson in the ninth district of Fuentress County tennessee and i quit eimet with Cooper and our country need instruction and except we get the implement for