he Dumpling-Eaters are a Race sprung partly from the old Epicurean, and partly from the Peripatetic Sect; they were brought first into Britain by Julius Cesar; and finding it a Land of Plenty, they wisely resolv’d never to go Home again. Their Doctrines are Amphibious, and compos’d Party per Pale of the two Sects before-mention’d; from the Peripatetics, they derive their Principle

of Walking, as a proper Method to digest a Meal, or create an Appetite; from the Epicureans, they maintain that all Pleasures are comprehended in good Eating and Drinking: And so readily were their Opinions embrac’d, that every Day produc’d many Proselytes; and their Numbers have from Age to Age increas’d prodigiously, insomuch that our whole Island is over-run with them, at present. Eating and Drinking are become so Customary among us that we seem to have entirely forgot, and laid aside the old Fashion of Fasting: Instead of having Wine sold at Apothecaries Shops, as formerly, every Street has two or three Taverns in it, least these Dumpling-Eaters should faint by the Way; nay, so zealous are they in the Cause of Bacchus, that one of the Chief among ’em has made a Vow never to say his Prayers ’till he has a Tavern of his own in every Street in London, and in every Market-Town in England. What may we then in Time expect? Since by insensible Degrees, their Society is become so numerous and formidable, that they are without Number; other Bodies have their Meetings, but where can the Dumpling-Eaters assemble? what Place large enough to contain ’em! The Bank, India, and South-Sea Companies have their General Courts, the Free-Masons and the Gormogons their Chapters; nay, our Friends

the Quakers have their Yearly Meetings. And who would imagine any of these should be Dumpling-Eaters? But thus it is, the Dumpling-Eating Doctrine has so far prevailed among ’em, that they eat not only Dumplings, but Puddings, and those in no small Quantities.

The Dumpling is indeed, of more antient Institution, and of Foreign Origin; but alas, what were those Dumplings? nothing but a few Lentils sodden together, moisten’d and cemented with a little seeth’d Fat, not much unlike our Gritt or Oatmeal Pudding; yet were they of such Esteem among the ancient Romans, that a Statue was erected to Fulvius Agricola, the first Inventor of these Lentil Dumplings. How unlike the Gratitude shewn by the Publick to our Modern Projectors!

The Romans, tho’ our Conquerors, found themselves much out-done in Dumplings by our Fore-fathers; the Roman Dumplings were no more to compare to those made by the Britons, than a Stone-Dumpling is to a Marrow Pudding; tho’ indeed, the British Dumpling at that time, was little better than what we call a Stone-Dumpling, being no thing else but Flour and Water: But every Generation growing wiser and wiser, the

Project was improv’d, and Dumpling grew to be Pudding: One Projector found Milk better than Water; another introduc’d Butter; some added Marrow, others Plumbs; and some found out the Use of Sugar; so that, to speak Truth, we know not where to fix the Genealogy or Chronology of any of these Pudding Projectors, to the Reproach of our Historians, who eat so much Pudding, yet have been so Ungrateful to the first Professors of this most noble Science, as not to find ’em a Place in History.

The Invention of Eggs was merely accidental, two or three of which having casually roll’d from off a Shelf into a Pudding which a good Wife was making, she found herself under a Necessity either of throwing away her Pudding, or letting the Eggs remain, but concluding from the innocent Quality of the Eggs, that they would do no Hurt, if they did no Good. She wisely jumbl’d ’em all together, after having carefully pick’d out the Shells; the Consequence is easily imagined, the Pudding became a Pudding of Puddings; and the Use of Eggs from thence took its Date. The Woman was sent for to Court to make Puddings for King John, who then sway’d the Scepter; and gain’d such Favour, that she was the making of her whole Family. I cannot conclude

this Paragraph without owning, I received this important Part of the History of Pudding from old Mr. Lawrence of Wilsden-Green, the greatest Antiquary of the present Age.

From that Time the English became so famous for Puddings, that they are call’d Pudding-Eaters all over the World, to this Day.

At her Demise, her Son was taken into Favour, and made the King’s chief Cook; and so great was his Fame for Puddings, that he was call’d Jack Pudding all over the Kingdom, tho’ in Truth, his real Name was John Brand, as by the Records of the Kitchen you will find: This John Brand, or Jack-Pudding, call him which