قراءة كتاب A Preliminary Study of the Emotion of Love between the Sexes
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A Preliminary Study of the Emotion of Love between the Sexes
carriage he had put his father's shot-gun, and he vowed vengeance on the young man who was “stealing away” his “darling,” as he called her. It took some time to pacify him, and he was only satisfied when the young lady herself appeared on the scene and promised him she would not marry the young man. That was nearly three years ago, and he is still as devoted a little lover as he was then.
Case 2. A little girl of five showed great affection for a boy of twenty-one. She used to climb upon his lap and caress him, and he never forgot to have some little delicacy for her in his pockets. This little girl had a pet kitten which her parents did not wish her to play with, and so her brothers coaxed the young man to kill it, thinking that she would think anything which he did all right. But the child's conduct towards him changed, and she didn't care for him as before. She is now nineteen years old, but whenever she sees him she thinks:—“He killed my pet.”
Case 3. I knew of a little girl not more than four years of age who became warmly attached to a young gentleman. He laughingly said to the child “I will wait for you.” She did not forget the remark, but looked upon him as her ideal. Every act of friendship between him and other lady friends was noticed with a jealous eye by the child. The young man travelled through the West, and while there met a lady who later became his wife. When the child learned this she was very angry and hated the lady. She did not feel differently about it until she was grown.
Case 4. A girl ten years old became very fond of a young man of nineteen while they both were attending school. She would wait for him to walk home with her from school. She took great pride in her personal appearance, and would always wonder if it would please him. This affection lasted through one winter and the next summer. After that the girl seemed to care for the boys of her own age.
Case 5. The last year I taught there were two little boys, Lambert, aged seven, and Frank, aged six, who fell in love with me. Lambert was very demonstrative when alone with me or when only grown folks were around, but did nothing in the presence of his schoolmates. He would put his arms around me, kiss me, and was very happy when he could sit on my lap. He gave me very few presents, but dearly loved to be with me, and often asked me to wait until he grew up so that he could marry me. He very frequently told me how much he loved me, and would ask me if I loved him, and if so whether I loved him more than I did others. Frank was very bashful, and though he would stay near me, would never come very close. He would watch my actions very closely, and tried to please me in every particular. Nearly every day in spring he would bring me a bouquet either of wild or tame flowers. Quite frequently he brought me fruit. If he had only one apple or banana he was never satisfied until I had taken a bite.
Case 6. A boy about ten years old loved a young lady of twenty during two years. Jealousy conspicuous. Expressions of love in the giving of small gifts, such as fruit, flowers, etc. Actions of the boy quite free and gallant in the presence of others. No tendency to withhold demonstrations and be satisfied with love at a distance. On the contrary, he seemed to seize every opportunity to show the lady attention. At about twelve years of age the boy began to hate her as extremely as he had formerly loved her.
Case 7. A little girl three years of age claimed me as her lover. Whenever I called on her parents she rushed to me and wanted me to hug and kiss her, and was never backward in doing her part. If at any time I did not notice her solicitations she would turn away from me and, going to some remote corner of the room, would cry as if her little heart would break. Jealousy was very prominent in her.
Case 8. A little girl three years old and a young man between twenty-five and thirty. It has continued now for about six or eight months and is mutual. The little girl says she is going to marry Mr. ——, and he says he wishes he could find a big girl that he thought as much of or that she was a young lady. She is very careful to always be nice in his presence. Will sit on his lap and love him, and seems happier than with any one else. She will ask her mamma “When will Mr. —— come to see me?” One day I met him and he told me to tell her that he would be in that afternoon. I did so, and she was very much delighted—ran and told the other members of the household. She seated herself in the parlor and would look at her clothes and brush them and sit in as prim a position as possible. She seemed to want to look her best. Her kindergarten teacher tried to coax her to go to her room; she said, “Oh no, Mr. —— is coming to see me,” and would ask impatiently when I thought he would come. She acted the same when alone or with others. She was very jealous, and never wanted any other lady to sit nearer him than she was. She would often say “He is mine.” She did not object to gentlemen sitting by him. No gifts on either side.
Case 9. Last October a boy of four met for the first time a young lady of eighteen. He at once became strongly attached to her, and during the week they spent visiting the same family he was almost constantly at her side. He would sit on her lap with his arms around her neck, and sometimes shyly kiss her. He would leave his mother and go with the young lady in preference. He wanted to be doing everything that she did. The older boys teased him, but he did not care. Said she was his girl, and always would be. He cried for her to go with him when he went home. He has not seen her since that time, but they have her picture, and he takes it and kisses it and calls her his sweetheart.
Case 10. A little cousin named Blanche when about two years of age became greatly attached to a man who worked for her father and lived with the family. He was probably thirty years her senior. The feeling continued growing stronger for about four years, when it was broken off by her finding out that he “had another girl.” She told me once that she loved him more than she did her papa or mamma, and that when she grew up would go and live with him. When she got presents for any of her friends he was always remembered. She was very demonstrative, sitting on his lap and in many other ways showing her feeling for him.
Case 11. A young lady of twenty years and a boy of six. We all boarded in the same house. He was so attached to her that he would never go to sleep without kissing her good-night. The very coldest day in winter if his mamma didn't have his coat and mittens on him when the bell rang for twelve o'clock or for six o'clock he would go without them to meet her, for he knew that she came at that time. He was always asking if she loved him, and if she would wait until he was a man and marry him. This continued for nearly three years when, one day, a lady whose hair was gray called on his mamma. He didn't like her, and after she left said to the young lady “I won't marry you when I am a man for your hair will be gray.” After that he never cared particularly for her.
Case 12. I know of one case where a little boy about six years old fell in love with a lady about twenty years old, and always used to call her his girl. He used to go and put his arms around her and kiss her at any time; it did not embarrass him if some one was looking at him. He is about eighteen now, and seems to think a great deal of her yet.