"Bring it back to-morrow morning," said Robinson, "and help us with our hay-making." Again dined in knickerbockers.

On Monday I resolved to be firm. I would leave by daylight. Rode over early. After some indifferent hay-making and some excellent lunch, I tried to start. No good. Robinson carried me off to a neighbour's tennis-party. After we returned from that, he said I must have some dinner. Couldn't ride home all those seven miles starving. Knickerbockers didn't matter. Again dined there and rode home at 10.30.

So I still have Robinson's lamp. Now I want to know how I am going to get it back to his house.

If I have it taken by anybody else he will think I don't care to come, which would be quite a mistake. Have vowed that I will not dine there again except in proper clothes. If I cross his hospitable threshold, even before breakfast, I shall never get away before bedtime. Can't ride seven miles in evening dress before breakfast even in the country. Besides, whatever clothes I wore, I should never be able to leave by daylight. I should still have his lamp. Can't take a second lamp. Would look like inviting myself to dinner. So would the evening clothes at breakfast. What is to be done?

The Retort Curteous.—Motorist (cheerfully—to fellow-guest in house party). "What luck? Killed anything?"

Angler (bitterly). "No. Have you?"

Vicar's Daughter. "Oh, Withers, your mistress tells me you are saving up to take a little shop and look after your mother. I think it is such a sweet idea!"

Withers. "Well, yes, miss, I did think of it; but now I've got the money I've changed my mind, and I'm going to buy myself one of these 'ere bicycles instead!"

A STORY WITHOUT WORDS

The Inference.—Giles (who has been rendering "first aid" to wrecked motor-cyclist). "Naw, marm, I doan't think as 'e be a married man, 'cos 'e says this be the worst thing wot 'as ever 'appened to un!"

SAVING THE SITUATION

Effie (to whom a motor-brougham is quite a novelty). "Oh, mummy dear, look! There's a footman and a big coachman on the box, and there isn't a horse or even a pony! What are they there for?"

Mummy dear (not well versed in electricity and motor-mechanism). "Well, you see, Effie dear—the—(by a happy inspiration) but, dear, you're not old enough to understand."