killing anything. This is but one more example of Continental aspersion.

As a result of his trip over the Gordon-Bennett course, the Roman Catholic Archbishop of Dublin now recommends the motor-car for pastoral visits. This will be no new thing. For years past some people have looked on the motor-car in the light of a visitation.

Cycling Conundrum.—Q. What article of the cyclist girl's attire do a couple of careless barbers recall to mind?

A. A pair of nickers.

Motorists are still expressing their indignation at a recent disgraceful incident when one of their number, because he could not pay a fine at once, was taken to prison, and forced to don ugly convict garb in the place of his becoming goggles and motor coat.

Engineer. "There's certainly a screw loose somewhere."

Simple Simon (with gleeful satisfaction). "He-he! I knaws where 't be too!"

Car Owner (intensely interested). "What do you mean, boy?"

Simple Simon. "He-he! Why I've got 'un! All the folks say as 'ow I've got a screw loose somewheres!"

WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS

Dialogue between two Young Gentlemen, dressed in Knickerbocker Suits, Gaiters, and Golf caps. They have the indescribable air which proclaims the votary of the "Bike."

First Young Gentleman. Yes; I certainly agree with the French view of it. Cycling shouldn't be indulged in without care.

Second Y. G. They say in Paris that no one should become an habitual cyclist without "medical authorisation."

First Y. G. Yes. Quite right. Then, when you are permitted, you ought to travel at a moderate pace. About five miles an hour is quite enough for a beginner.

Second Y. G. Enough! Why, too much! You can't be too careful! Then, if you break off for a time, you ought to begin all over again. You should "gradually acquire speed"; not rush at it!

First Y. G. Certainly. I read in the Lancet only the other day that merely increasing the pace of a bike a couple of miles an hour was sufficient to send up the normal pulse to 150!

Second Y. G. Most alarming! And yet I can see from your costume you are a cyclist.

First Y. G. Not at all. I am pleased with the costume, and, like yourself, have adopted it. Now do not laugh at me. But, between ourselves, I have never been on a bicycle in my life!

Second Y. G. No more have I!

[Curtain.

The provincial journal which, the other day, published the following paragraph:—"Private letters from Madagascar state that two cyclists have visited the island, causing the loss of 200 lives and immense damage to property," and followed it up with a leader virulently attacking motor-cyclists, now informs us that the word should have been "cyclones." The printer has been warned.

"Anti-Motor" writes to point out that one advantage of holding motor races like those that have just taken place in Ireland is that after each race there are fewer motors.

The Trail of the Motor.—"COLLECTOR.

Young man wants collecting."—Advt. in Provincial Paper.