align="center">PLANNING TO GET A HUSBAND FOR ME

Dissecting possible wooers at Vienna—Royalty after money, not character—"He is a Cohen, not a Coburg"—Prince who looked like a Jew counter-jumper in his Sunday best—Balkan princes tabooed by Francis Joseph—A good time for the girls—Army men commanded to attend us CHAPTER IX LOVE-MAKING The fascinating Baron—The man's audacity—Putting the question boldly—Real love-making—Risqué stories for royalty CHAPTER X MY POPULARITY RENDERS GEORGE DYSPEPTIC The Cudgel-Majesty—Prince George's intrigues—No four-horse coach for Princess—Popular demonstration in my favor—"All-highest" displeasure CHAPTER XI SCOLDED FOR BEING POPULAR Entourage spied upon by George's minions—My husband proves a weakling—I disavow the personal compliment—No more intelligent than a king should be CHAPTER XII ROYAL DISGRACE—LIGHTNING AND SHADOWS Ordered around by the Queen—Give thanks to a bully—Jealous of the "mob's" applause—"The old monkey after 'Hochs'"—Criticizing the "old man"—Royalty's plea for popularity—Proposed punishments for people refusing to love royalty CHAPTER XIII UNSPEAKABLE LITTLENESSES OF PETTY COURTS Another quarrel with my husband—Personal attendant to a corpse—Killing by pin pricks—The mythical three "How art thou's?"—Unwanted sympathy from my inferiors—Pride of the decapitated Queen of France is in me—Lovers not impossible—Court to blame for them—My husband acts cowardly—Brutalizes my household—I lock myself in CHAPTER XIV IMPERIAL RUSSIAN ETHICS TRANSFERRED TO DRESDEN My husband's reported escapade—Did he give diamonds to a dancing girl?—His foolish excuses—"I am your pal"—A restaurant scene in St. Petersburg—The birthday suit CHAPTER XV ROYALTY NOT PRETTY, AND WHY Fecundity royal women's greatest charm—How to have beautiful children CHAPTER XVI MORE JEALOUSIES OF THE GREAT Men and women caress me with their eyes—Some disrespectful sayings and doings of mine—First decided quarrel with Frederick Augustus—I go to the theatre in spite of him CHAPTER XVII THE ROYAL PRINCE, WHO BEHAVES LIKE A DRUNKEN BRICKLAYER I face the music, but my husband runs away—Prince George can't look me in the eye—He roars and bellows—Advocates wife-beating—I defy him—German classics—"Jew literature" Auto da fé ordered CHAPTER XVIII I DEFY THEM Laughter and pleasant faces for me—Frederick Augustus refuses to back me, but I don't care—We quarrel about my reading—He professes to gross ignorance CHAPTER XIX ATTEMPTED VIOLENCE DEFEATED BY FIRMNESS Frederick Augustus seeks to carry out his father's brutal threats—Orders and threats before servants—I positively refuse to be ordered about—Frederick Augustus plays Mrs. Lot—Enjoying myself at the theatre CHAPTER XX TITLED SERVANTS LOW AND CUNNING George tries to rob me of my confidante—Enter the King's spy, Baroness Tisch in her true character—Punishment of one royal spy CHAPTER XXI BANISHMENT I am ordered to repair to a country house with the hated spy as my Grand Mistress—My first impulse to go home, but afraid parents won't have me CHAPTER XXII "POOR RELATIONS" IN ROYAL HOUSES Myself and Frederick Augustus quarrel and pound table—The Countess Cosel's golden vessel—Off to Brighton—Threat of a beating—I provoke shadows of divorce—King threatens force—More defiance on my part—I humble the King and am allowed to invite my brother Leopold CHAPTER XXIII A SERVANT-TYRANT My correspondence is not safe from the malicious woman appointed Grand Mistress—Lovers at a distance and by correspondence—Fell in love with a leg CHAPTER XXIV MORE TYRANNY OF A TITLED SERVANT My daily papers seized, and only milk-and-water clippings are submitted—"King's orders"—Grand Mistress's veracity doubted—My threats of suspension cow her CHAPTER XXV THE TWO BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY UNITED