OVER THE RIVER. LET US HOPE THAT HE IS HAPPY NOW!
HOW HAPPY HE LOOKS! HE DISLIKES THE HUM OF MEN, AND SITS ALL DAY SHUT UP IN HIS CARRIAGE READING THE LITERATURE OF HIS COUNTRY. HOW RUDE OF THOSE GERMANS TO BE LAUGHING AND JOKING SO NEAR HIS LORDSHIP!
COBLENTZ.
INDIGNATION OF ROBINSON, AT SIGHT OF INADEQUATE WASHING APPARATUS. HE RANG THE BELL WITH SUCH VIOLENCE, THAT ALL THE WAITERS RUSHED IN, THINKING THAT THE HOTEL WAS ON FIRE, OR THAT A REVOLUTION HAD BROKEN OUT.
THERE HE STOOD, POINTING TO THE WATER, ABOUT HALF A PINT IN A BASIN THE SIZE OF A BREAKFAST CUP; AND IN A VOICE OF SUPPRESSED EMOTION, DEMANDING TO KNOW IF “DAS IST, ETC.”
“MAN WANTS BUT LITTLE HERE BELOW,” BUT “WANTS THAT LITTLE LONG.”
IF YOU SHOULD FORGET THE NUMBER OF YOUR KEY AND ROOM (as BROWN did on returning late from the theatre), WHAT ARE YOU TO DO?
HOW THIS ANIMAL SEEMED TO HAVE IMBIBED COMMUNISTIC PRINCIPLES, AND HOW HE STOLE A SAUSAGE, AND HOW THE POPULATION ROSE LIKE ONE MAN, AND HUNTED HIM THROUGH THE TOWN.
THE DOG HAVING OUTSTRIPPED THE POPULACE, PROCEEDS TO EAT THE SAUSAGE.
HAVING DONE SO, HE LOOKS STOUTER THAN HE DID, AND IS INCLINED TO REST. THE INHABITANTS, EAGER FOR VENGEANCE, SURROUND HIM, BUT ARE KEPT AT BAY BY THE EXPRESSION OF HIS COUNTENANCE.
ONE BURLY PEASANT HAVING THE HARDIHOOD TO APPROACH TOO NEAR, HE IS MADE AS EXAMPLE OF. Exeunt omnes.
THE RHINE.
BROWN, WITH NOBLE PERSEVERANCE, SITS UPON THE PADDLE-BOX, REGARDLESS OF THE STORM, AND SKETCHES THE CASTLES AND TOWNS, AS THE STEAM-BOAT PASSES THEM.
—TILL IN A MOMENT OF GRIEF HIS HAT AND SEVERAL SKETCHES WERE CARRIED OFF FOR EVER: AND THEN HE THOUGHT IT TIME TO GO BELOW.
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HOW A CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES ADDRESSED BROWN; AND HOW HE PUT THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS DURING THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES OF THEIR ACQUAINTANCE.
1. “WHERE ARE YOU GOING?”
2. “WHAT PLACE DO YOU HAIL FROM?”
3. “CONCLUDE YOU GO TOE FRANKFORT?”
4. “YOU’RE MR. BROWN, I RECKON?”
5. “WHAT NAMES DO YOUR FRIENDS GO BY?”
STATEMENTS MADE DURING THE SAME PERIOD.
1. “THIS HERE RHINE AIN’T MUCH BY THE SIDE OF OUR MISSISSIPPI.”
2. “OLD EUROPE IS ’TARNALLY CHAWED UP.”
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ROBINSON WAS VERY MERRY ABOUT THIS INCIDENT, AND BOTH HE AND JONES KEPT POKING FUN AT BROWN DURING THE REST OF THE DAY. THEY PARODIED THE WELL KNOWN SONG OF “MY HEART’S ON THE RHINE,” SUBSTITUTING “MY HAT’S IN THE RHINE;”—(IT WAS VERY POOR STUFF, WE HAVE BEEN ASSURED BY BROWN)—AND THEY MADE POINTED ALLUSIONS TO THE NAME OF “WIDE-AWAKE.”
THE ABOVE DRAWING IS FROM A RUDE SKETCH BY JONES.
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THEY NOW BECAME ENVELOPED IN WHAT SEEMED A COMBINATION OF FOG (LONDON NOVEMBER) AND MIST (SCOTCH). ONLY THINK OF THOSE TWO NATIONAL INSTITUTIONS GOING UP THE RHINE WITH THE REST OF THE FASHIONABLE WORLD. AT FIRST IT OBSCURED THE HILL TOPS, WITH THE RUINS THEREON; THEN THE VILLAGES AND VINEYARDS BELOW; AND FINALLY BOTH BANKS OF THE RIVER ENTIRELY DISAPPEARED. THE COMPANY ON BOARD THE STEAMBOAT DID NOT, AT THIS PERIOD, PRESENT THE MOST CHEERFUL ASPECT.
MAYENCE TO FRANKFORT.
HOW ROBINSON’S FAVOURITE PORTMANTEAU, WHICH HE HAD FORGOTTEN TO LOCK, WAS DROPPED ACCIDENTALLY BY A PORTER WHILE CONVEYING IT TO THE OMNIBUS.
JONES HINTS TO ROBINSON THAT IT IS TIME TO GET UP.