Some of my own due

Interest earn'd on the black

Gnat that I loaned you.

"I should be very glad to have a movement started to put an end to the extravagant, unseemly and disedifying length to which ladies in this country have gone in adopting fashions of dress."

—Irish Paper.

Hitherto it had been supposed that the objection to the modern modes was their excessive brevity.

"Coopers Wanted, dry or tight; only Society men need apply."

—Advt. in Daily Paper.

Inebriation is no longer popular among Society men.

MANNERS AND MODES.

QUEERING HIS PITCH. WHAT OUR ARTIST POSER HAS TO PUT UP WITH.

Fish Hawker (reading a book of Natural History he has bought for his son's birthday). "Liz, I bin swindled. I've read all froo the index of fishes, an' kippers ain't even mentioned."

MUCH THE BETTER HALF.

"Then you mean that neither of you is coming to the concert?" said Margery.

"Speaking for myself," said John, "the answer is in the affirmative—or negative, just as you prefer. Any way, I'm not coming. Your worthy brother must decide for himself."

"Our worthy brother-in-law has spoken for me, Margery," I said; "I also regret my inability to assist at the revels."

"Then all I can say is I think you're a couple of pigs."

"Margery, Margery," said John, "really your language——I shall have to write to the papers about you."

"That's the idea," I joined in. "'The Modern Flapper,' by 'Broad-minded but Shocked.' You'd better look out, Margery, or you'll never marry. The papers are full of letters about people like you. There's a beauty this morning. Half a minute; I'll read it to you."

"Don't trouble yourself, please," said Margery, curling her lip up somewhere over her right eyebrow.

"No trouble at all, it's a pleasure," I said, turning over the pages. "Ah! here we are. This is signed 'Disgusted Ex-Soldier.' Listen:—

"'Sir,—Speaking as one but recently returned to so-called civilisation after the horrors of two years of war ["Conscript!" said John], may I venture to give you my opinion of the Modern Girl ...'"

"That's you he means," said John.

"Pah!" said Margery.

"And bah! to you twice," said John.

"Shush, both of you," I said; "listen to 'Disgusted Ex-Soldier':—

"'What was it kept up our hearts and spirits during the terrible days and nights in the trenches?'"

"The Rum Ration," cried John. "Hear, hear. Loud cries of 'Down with Pussyfoot!'"