The Project Gutenberg eBook, The History and Records of the Elephant Club, by Knight Russ Ockside and Q. K. Philander Doesticks, Illustrated by John McLenan

Title: The History and Records of the Elephant Club

Author: Knight Russ Ockside and Q. K. Philander Doesticks

Release Date: May 7, 2010 [eBook #32274]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1

***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HISTORY AND RECORDS OF THE ELEPHANT CLUB***

E-text prepared by Bryan Ness, Graeme Mackreth,
and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
(http://www.pgdp.net)
from scanned images of public domain material generously made available by
the Google Books Library Project
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The

HISTORY AND RECORDS

OF THE

ELEPHANT CLUB;

COMPILED FROM AUTHENTIC DOCUMENTS
NOW IN POSSESSION OF THE

Zoölogical Society.

BY

Knight Russ Ockside, M.D.,

AND

Q.K. Philander Doesticks, P.B.

NEW YORK:
Livermore & Rudd, Publishers,
310 Broadway,
1857.

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1836, by
LIVERMORE & RUDD,
In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the
Southern District of New York.

W.H. TINSON, STEREOTYPER.

GEO. RUSSELL & CO., PRINTERS,
61 Beekman-Street, N.Y.

THIS IS THE VERITABLE AND VERACIOUS HISTORY OF THE DOINGS
AND MISDOINGS OF THE MEMBERS OF

THE ELEPHANT CLUB.

WITH A MINUTE AND PARTICULAR NARRATIVE OF WHAT THEY DID;
TO WHICH IS ADDED A COMPLEX AND ELABORATE DESCRIPTION OF WHAT THEY DIDN'T.

CONTAINING ALSO THE EXULTANT RECORD OF THEIR
MEMORABLE SUCCESS IN EVENTUALLY OBTAINING, EACH AND EVERY
ONE, A SIGHT OF THE ENTIRE AND UNADULTERATED

FROM THE PRIMITIVE HAIR ON HIS ATTENUATED PROBOSCIS, TO THE
LAST KINK OF HIS SYMMETRICAL TAIL.

COMPILED

BY ME,

KNIGHT RUSS OCKSIDE, M.D.,

AND ME,

Q.K. PHILANDER DOESTICKS, P.B.

PREFACE.

This book has been written by the Authors, and printed by the Publishers, in the hope that it may be purchased by the Public. If it proves to be a failure, the responsibility must rest with the People who don't buy it.

CONTENTS.

HOW THEY MET.

What there wasn't—What there was—A fancied recognition—Singular coincidences—Preamble and resolution—A third party—A fourth party—Accusation of petty larceny—Satisfactory explanation—Spirits in the closet—A mysterious letter—Alarm of Boggs—More mystery—A murder anticipated—The reason why—A perplexing predicament—A philanthropist discovered—A general embrace—An astonishing statement

HOW THE CLUB ORGANIZED.

The second meeting—A learned dissertation—A document—Rules—Preliminary speeches and criticisms—Order of business—An election—Congratulations —The dinner

THE ELEPHANTINE DEN.

Its location—The furniture and its arrangements—A sentinel elected—Punishment for intrusion—Resolutions adopted

FIRST DISCOVERIES OF THE CLUB.

A new character—A glimpse at the animal—A tall talker—A proposal—Discovery of a group of street-statuary—A pistol-gallery —Bowling-alley—The oriental elephant—Novel pipes—Oriental experience—A member frightened—A new character—Playing Turk—Ceremony of initiation—Art in conchology—Astonishment of Johnny Cake—Engine No. 32¼.—The rope breaks—Hose 24³⁄₈—The race—Mixed-up spectacle—A general row after the fight—The Club resolved

FIRST EVENING WITH THE CLUB.

Preliminary proceedings—Bobington Thomas confesses his profession—Thomas and his dogs—New York dog-pound—Thomas accepts silver—Mr. James George Boggs—Johnny Cake's railroad experience—A malignant conductor—A passenger sings—A second passenger wakes and joins in the chorus—Song interrupted by an accident—Results of the accident—Train in motion—The song finished—Johnny Cake's abstinence—First experience in Gotham—Curious coincident—Wagstaff's note book—The elephant seen—Members initiated

THE COLORED CAMP MEETING.

A dense smoke—Resolutions, preparations—The journey—Queer specimens of Religion—Corn whisky—Effects of a hymn—Return to Gotham

FURTHER DISCOVERIES.

Order enforced—Boggs practises the art of self-defence—Successful fight with the stove—Unsuccessful fight with the nigger—Quackenbush keeps late hours—Deacon Pettingill on a bender—Is taken to a gambling-house—Loans and loses ten dollars—Persecution of a corner grocery-man—A gunpowder plot—More of the Dutchman's troubles—Cousin Betsy—Love, pride and poverty—Mr. Buxton and the nigger—Shanghae coat—A gratuitous baptism—Conflict between Buxton and the darkey

THE CLUB IN AN UPROAR.

South-ferry stages—Beginning of mishaps—The military—The Lager Bier Invincibles—The fat