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قراءة كتاب Letters of a Lunatic A Brief Exposition of My University Life, During the Years 1853-54
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Letters of a Lunatic A Brief Exposition of My University Life, During the Years 1853-54
the voice of a certain popular preacher. ) "He is deceived, he is deceived!" (by the spokesman of a body of theological students in front of the neighboring Seminary, as I was passing.) And at times even: "Die!" "Break!" (on the supposition that I was in embarrassed circumstances.) "Whore!" even was one of the delectable cries! To these I should add the mysterious blowings of noses (both within sight and hearing,) frightfully significant coughs, horse-laughs, shouts and other methods of demonstration, such as striking the sidewalk in front of my windows with a cane, usually accompanied with some remark: "I understand that passage so!" for example. A clique in the Historical Society, (where I had been several times insulted at the meetings,) and several religious coteries and secret organizations were evidently largely concerned in the business. To these noises and sounds corresponded an equally ingenious series of sights, so arranged as to leave no doubt whatever, but that the impressions of my sense of hearing were no delusion, and that there was no mistake about the authors. My spirits and health were completely shattered by the close of winter, and I crawled out a miserable existence, being confined to my bed most of the time, unable to do anything but to read an hour or two a day. The summer season emptied the University and the city, and I was relieved from the pressure. The repose was like a gift from heaven. A stout resolution soon consigned the terrors of the past to a provisional oblivion. I collected myself, recovered my usual composure and bodily strength, made arrangements for two additional text-books to my series, at which after the 1st of July I began to work steadily, in the hope of getting out of my pecuniary difficulty which the recent events of my life had entailed. One of these is now ready for publication and will appear in a short time. After I had fairly recovered the proper balance of mind, I wrote to the Mayor of the city, and to Dr. Ferris, the Chancellor of our University. To the former I complained of persecution ab extra, which might be stopped by police intervention, of the latter I demanded explanations for personal vexations and insults. Besides having connived at, nay participated in the disorders of the Institution, and besides having employed the menials of the establishment to enforce a ridiculous submission to an unconstitutional authority, the Dr. had in the presence of the Alumni of the Institution, convened at a banquet in the Astor House, openly insulted me by saying; "Shall I have to become the step-father to that man?" and again: "Next year I shall see another man in that man's place!" Both these expressions were used by the Dr. as he stood before the assembled guests, while making a short speech. In uttering them, he looked at me with a supercilious grin, and the question was addressed to the opposite side of the house, between which and the speaker there was a manifest collusion. My letter consisted of a protestation against the scandalous disorders of the Institution in general, and a request that the Dr. would retract the obnoxious offer of an unacceptable paternity as publicly as it was made, to include also a recantation of the words: "Death you shall have!" uttered near the door that connects my room with that of the Dr's., in his own voice and in connection with a declamation of Patrick Henry's famous speech, "Give me liberty or &c." This letter of mine was answered by spectral demonstrations (not unlike those of ghost-rappers,) in the Chancellor's room (next to my private study) between 11 and 12 o'clock on the night after its delivery, and by the insolent behavior of the University scullion, who on the following day after many other impertinences told me: "You must not speak so to the Chancellor, my son!" No other reply was made, and no further notice taken of my complaint. And yet my deportment towards Dr. Ferris had never been disrespectful, while his whole course towards me had been singularly provoking and offensive. He seemed to be ignorant of the fact, that I was both an alumnus and an officer of the Institution, and that as such I expected to be regarded in the light of a gentleman and of a scholar. By ignoring my protestations the Dr. treated me like a freshman, while his goings in and out of the building and his degrading alliance with the menials of the Institution, who were the accomplices of the disorder, gave him the character rather of a mechanic's "boss" watching over an apprentice than of a dignified president of a respectable literary institution.
I had by that time, (the middle of September last,) almost wholly recovered my health; the horrid recollections of last winter having been supplanted by the amenities of my summer studies in solitude; and I had nearly completed one of the new text-books I had agreed to prepare. A week glided away—and two—the session commenced—I was quietly engaged in my own business, without making any overtures to commence my public duties. In fact, I hesitated about commencing at all. About the first of October, a young man, a nephew of mine, brought me a telegraphic despatch from a distant city, requesting a confirmation or denial of the report there circulated, that I was dangerously ill, unconscious of myself, &c., and in immediate imperative need of friendly aid, being neither mentally nor bodily able to take care of myself. As there was a mistake in the name of the enquirer, I considered the matter a hoax, got up for mischief or the amusement of some inquisitive party, and retorted an abrupt telegraphic: "None of your business, sir!" A few days after, I received a letter of complaint from my brother-in-law, of——, stating that the telegraphic enquiry had been made by himself, and with the kindest regard to my comfort; that a letter from Dr. Ferris to a brother Divine of that city had been the cause of the sudden consternation among my relatives there. The Dr.'s letter was itself enclosed, having been surrendered to the party for whose benefit it was composed. In this letter the Dr. declares me incompetent for the business of instruction, alleges, that during the last winter I had given various symptoms of a disordered mind, which during the summer had increased (?!!) to such an extent, as to give serious alarm to the humane feelings of the Dr., and in consideration of which, he advises my friends "to take me at once away from study, to some institution adapted to such."
On the morning of the receipt of this intelligence (the 5th of Oct., I think,) I had just arranged my papers for my day's work, and in the best spirits and in excellent health, (deducting a cough which during the infamies of last winter I had contracted,) was about to begin preparing some copy for the printer. This strange way of answering a just complaint and grave accusations very naturally brought back the recollections of all the contumelies and horrors of last winter, than which the reign of terror has nothing more startling, save perhaps only the guillotine or the inquisition. The patience of Job could not have held out any longer. I went at once in search of the Dr., and finding him in conversation with Prof. Loomis, in the lecture room of the latter, asked him whether he had written the letter I held in my hands. His cool reply in the affirmative was itself an insult, made as it was in a manner, which confirmed my previous grounds of offence and the impression, that the Dr. would not remember that I was not an undergraduate in search of a step-father, but a gentleman and an officer of the college. Impatience and anger could not be restrained, and I told him that he was a—— and a——! and read his epistle publicly in the recitation-room of one of my