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"WHAT MAISIE KNEW"

Kind Aunt. "You needn't be afraid of my little pug, Maisie. He won't bite you."

Maisie. "No, auntie. But he might kick!"

Bobby. "Do you know what daddy calls you, Mr. Tovey?"

Mr. Tovey. "No Bobby. What is it?"

Bobby. "He calls you Port Arthur, 'cause you take so long to surrender!"

Little Girl (to mother, who has just read notice). "I suppose, mother, it doesn't mention which half of the poor thing we are to look for?"

Juvenile Geography.—Governess. The earth moves round the sun ... it takes a whole year to complete the round ... and this accounts for the four seasons. What are the four seasons of the year, Phyllis?

Phyllis (aged five). This year, next year, sometime, never.

"It's a Wise Child that knows its own Father."—Grace. Harold, why did pa call that Mr. Blowhard a liar?

Harold. 'Cos he's smaller than pa!

A Little Learning.—Teacher. And who was Joan of Arc?

Scholar. Please, sir, Noah's wife.

A Little Stepmother.—Uncle. Hullo! Dot, got a new doll?

Little Miss Dot. Hush, uncle, don't speak too loud. She is not one of my own, but belonged to Millie Simpson, who was cruel to her and 'bandoned her, so I have 'dopted her; but I don't want her to know, because I mean to make no difference between her and my own dollies.

A POSER

Katie (in consternation). "Oh, mother, how will Santa Claus do about that poor man's stockings?"

The Return Invitation.—"Please, Mrs. Subbubs, mamma says she'll be glad if you'll come to tea on Monday." "With pleasure, Bessie. Tell your mother it's really too kind——" "Oh, no! mamma says she'll be glad when it's over."

"Did our hat-rack walk about and have only two pegs, once, auntie?"